20 weeks and a melt down :)

So...I had a slight melt down today. Not huge... it almost didn't happen. But then it did :(




Hormones have been treating me pretty good this pregnancy. Really good, actually. I can't think of any major break downs (other than when we hit a deer when I was 4 weeks pregnant). But today - I woke up feeling hormonal... and boy did that feeling show true at work!



I encountered someone today that wasn't aware that I was pregnant again, let alone with triplets! So after chatting a few minutes, saying that I was 20 weeks along (although I appear to be like eight months!)... and that we are having at least two boys. I shared about going to the doctor tomorrow and hopefully finding out what the third is, and then I was asked the question. "What are you going to do? You already have one at home, right?" Ouch. But I handled it pretty well, saying no... we don't, that our daughter passed away in November 2009. This person immediately apologized (and remembered) and felt awful. I felt pretty awful too. I always hate springing that on people... even if it's someone that I "know". So I finished the conversation and went about my way.

When I turned my back to leave... unannounced tears sprung to my eyes. They really surprised me, because I've been handling that question rather well during this pregnancy. I brushed it off and tried to get my mind off of it. I shot a quick email to a friend at work about it, and felt better.

THEN, I had to go and talk to someone else in our office... and this person mentioned how awful the person felt for asking me about Lilly. I said that it was no big deal, and that normally I don't think anything about it. They told me that I had handled the situation really well... and went on to say some other stuff, and all of the sudden the tears came back and this time...they won. They just started spilling out - and there was nothing that I could do to stop them. Embarrassing! Or, at least it would have been my boss for the first *almost* three years I have been at my job.

I was hugged, consoled... and then cried some more. :) Maybe I needed it? I don't know... but it was so out of character for me (at least ME here lately). Oh well. I was upset at myself for breaking down those. Geez. *sigh*



Whew. So needless to say, it's been a day (and a half!) and I am so thankful to finally be home, resting...and spending time with my Honey (and getting ready to watch American Idol!) HA!



Tomorrow is the big day... our anatomy scan, and HOPEFULLY the day that our Baby No Name (aka Baby B) reveals it's privates!! I'm so ready to stop calling it an "IT" and calling him or her by name! Please pray that all goes well, that each baby is developing as it should, and that they all have all the right parts! Also, please especially pray for good fluid levels :) And...I selfishly ask you all to pray for little girl parts! I really really really want my little girl... but will be JUST as excited about three little boys.



Praying for a good appointment...and will update tomorrow evening (probably somewhat late, because I have to go to the dr and then back to work until six). :) Wish me luck!

19 weeks :)

So this past Wednesday marked nineteen weeks pregnant with our precious triplets :) Eli, Easton & Baby No Name (which hopefully will change this coming up Thursday morning!!!)

Enjoy the below pictures of the baby bump & a few things that we have picked up for the babies along the way!

~From Gigi~ 

~From Mommy & Daddy~

~Boots for boys OR girls~

~from Daddy~

                                                                        A room full :)

~From Poppy & Gigi~

~From Ms Fay~

~From Gigi~



lillies for Easter & diaper bags

Saturday proved to be...weird.

It was a LONG day, to say the least. I was physically exhausted...because I had been on my feel all day long. It was nice, because I was able to spend the whole entire day with Clif. :)

We went to town and did some shopping at Wal*Mart. I felt weird when we went to the register to check out. In my arms I carried pink Lillie's to take to the cemetery (to take after a LONG time of not going...),

 a green polka dotted rug for the Skittle's bathroom... and a diaper bag. So I was buying flowers to place on my fist Born's grave while I bought items for the babies that we are praying to bring home in mid August. Weird.

I also had a pretty rough day emotionally. I've had a hard time feeling the babies move on a regular basis since they have started moving, I guess mainly because of the anterior placentas. But I DO normally feel them a few times during the day - and if I lay down, I almost always feel them swimming around :) Well, on Saturday - I guess because I was constantly moving I didn't feel them. It started to worry me, so I decided to lay down and rest. Still nothing. I went all day, and a good part into the night without feeling them move. I even ate a taco from taco bell with two packs of hot sauce..ha! Eli normally moves around if I feed him spicy food!!

FINALLY when Clif and I got home from my parents house I laid on the couch for a while, relaxed (while receiving a leg & back rub from my hubby)... and after a few minutes he finally started moving. :) I can't even begin to describe the relief. Clif, of course, never was worried...and I tried not to be. But sometimes it's just plain hard.

As I sit here typing about not feeling them move as often, I'm getting sweet little kicks to the bottom of my tummy from Mr.Eli. LOVE this feeling :)

The Passion Of The Christ

I've been thinking a lot about this movie the last few days. If you've never seen it... I would suggest watching it. It may depict everything that happened all those years ago - but it's a beautiful, emotional reminder. I can say that I have never thought of the crucifixion of Christ the same after seeing this movie.
I will say that it's a very intense, graphic movie... and extremely emotional. But I thought it was great. It really makes you think...

nineteen with three :)

This week has been a pretty uneventful week. What a relief! I love weeks like this. Where nothing goes wrong... where everything seems to be fine. Weeks where I feel good (or at least as good as you can when you are 19 weeks pregnant with triplets!).


Today we reached the nineteen week mark. Can't believe we have made it this far with little to no bumps along the road! I feel calm most days. Of course, there are days when I feel like I am going to explode with anxiety... but those days are few and far between. I really just have a sense of peace with this pregnancy.

I'm officially past the half way mark (more than likely). I have made it farther (in weeks) than I have left to go. That's pretty exciting!! Seventeen weeks left until the 36 week mark, which is where I pray to make it to!

With two of my three placentas being anterior - I was really concerned that I wouldn't be able to feel my little Skittle's move around in there. I have felt "flutters" (more like fishies swimming around in my belly) since about twelve weeks or so. But then again... it could have just been gas! :) But now I feel definite movement. Not as often as I would like... but I felt them every day for the last week or so. Their movements are finally getting a little more force behind them. Clif was even able to feel Eli & possibly Baby No Name on Monday night. It was...well, one of the best feelings in the world.

If you have ever been pregnant... you know that feeling your baby(s) move is one of the most magical feelings you will ever experience. And then being able to watch the face of your partner light up when he feels the baby...priceless. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I love it.

As crazy as I may sound saying this, I can't wait to feel all three of them going crazy in there! :) Just hope that I'm close to a bathroom, seeing as I have had a few close calls already!

I love to watch people's faces when they ask when I'm due and I answer with "September 14th". :) It never fails to crack me up. They look a little surprised and then usually say something nice to cover up their shock. And when I tell them that I am carrying triplets - it's even better. I normally get the, "oh... I was thinking that you are kind of big to have that much further to go!" :)

Currently... I have mostly good days - with a few rough ones mixed in every now and again. I get REALLY tired...very easily. And I've started to swell with the heat. More of that to come, I'm sure.

We are SO excited about our April 28th appointment. :) It's for our anatomy scan...and hopefully to confirm Baby C's sex, and to reveal Baby B's (aka No Name) sex. We are still holding out for a girl...but not getting our hopes up too much. Seriously...it seems like every single pregnant person that I know (with the exception of like two) are carrying little boys. And the majority of people that have recently had babies...BOYS. I definitely think it's the season of the boys. :) Which...at this point, as much as I want a little girl... I really don't care as long as they are happy and healthy.

PLUS...there is always a next time **wink wink**

short...sweet...

...and to the point.




Today I went to Wendy's for lunch (and yes, it was semi healthy. Well...kinda. I had a burger and baked potato...though I would have rather had a triple baconator & fries...and I think the babies agreed with me!).

After we said a prayer over our food - I noticed a Virginia State Trooper sit down across from our table. He put his tray on the table, removed his hat, and bowed his head to pray. He didn't speak out loud... though his lips did move. I could tell that he was sincere in what he was praying. This man not only took the time to bow and thank God for his food... but he wasn't concerned about what people might think about him. He took his time... in fact, his prayer lasted such a long time that I was beginning to wonder if he was okay.

Finally, after several minutes... he opened his eyes, unwrapped his burger and ate his lunch. I'm not really sure why this touched me the way it did... but, it did. It was nice to see for a change. :) And it was a bonus that he was a State Trooper... and that he didn't care about what he may look like. I happen to think that it made him look much more like a man. :)

Felt like I should share...

half full :)

Eighteen weeks pregnant with my three little Skittle's.

Baby A = Eli Zane

Baby B = To be determined *hopefully* on April 28th. Hopefully "V" can work her magic and make stubborn baby show his/her stuff!!!

Baby C = Easton Lane

At eighteen weeks... for the most part, I feel great. Or as great as you can feel when you are eighteen *almost* nineteen weeks pregnant with triplets. :) My only complaints are that my back is starting to hurt, my ankles are *slightly* swollen from time to time, and I get tired very very easily.

Movement is hit or miss. They (especially Eli) tend to react to food more than anything! Just like a *little* man. Dr g said that it may take me longer to feel strong movements due to Easton & Baby B's placentas being anterior. So where they aren't STRONG movements... I do feel them swimming in there. Mostly when I'm still. Hopefully in a few more weeks they will be big enough for me to feel on a regular basis.

Blood pressure has been really good. Last week it was extremely low - and I was actually concerned about it being TOO low. We're talking 110s/60s...which is weird for me. This week it has been back up 120s/80s...which has always been normal for me. It's weird - when I am active, it tends to be lower. I guess it makes sense.

Weight gain :) Touchy subject. lol...no, actually I have gotten past really caring. As long as the babies and me are healthy, that's all I care about. As of this past Wednesday, my weight gain is up to 20 pounds. Dr G told me in the beginning that I should gain 45 pounds. I have been reading a book written by a doctor that specializes in multiple pregnancies and she says (I think) between 60-75 pounds, even if you were overweight before becoming pregnant.

Speaking of weight - I told Clif that he may not ever want to see me without clothes on, but that I am going to be super skinny after these babies are born. I weighed 129 or less when we first got together. :) And that's what I'm pushing for after Eli, Easton, and B get here.

Well...it's Sunday morning and I am off to church. :) We have a missionary/Evangelist speaking this morning, and then out to eat. Clif is working :( So he will not be joining us. Hope everyone has a great Sunday!

Rose & Her Lily

Please head on over to Hannah Rose's blog and check out her first ever giveaway!! :) She is giving away a book written by Mary Beth Chapman, in honor or her sweet Lily...gone too soon, March 16th,2010. Love you Hannah!!!

Seventeen without L.J.S

Today marks two years since the day that we saw our little Lilly Bean for the first time, at least in my belly. J April 15th, tax day… a day that MOST people dread. But it’s a day that holds a special place in my heart.



I have to admit that even though I was thrilled to find out that two of our babies are boys, Eli & Easton, it was bitter sweet on Wednesday. Getting an ultrasound… finding out the sexes of two out of three of our babies… and knowing that two years ago we were experiencing the first little bit of excitement over our first born. I was just unexpectedly… hard.


I keep wondering about the three babies that are growing inside of me now. Will they look like Lilly? How will I handle everything?


Honestly? I think I’m going to be fine. I know some mothers stress about PPD… but I don’t. I’m the type of person who might get stressed out… I might even let me stress show sometimes. But for the most part I suck it up and deal with what’s going on – and get things done. And I really honestly think that’s how I am going to be when the triplets arrive.


Don’t get me wrong. I think that it will be hard, and emotional – for both me AND Clif. But I know that our God will never give us more than He can give the strength to handle. J And He hasn’t given us anything that we weren’t able to make it through thus far – I don’t see it happening in the near future.

I keep thinking about how much I miss her. And how much that I wish she were here to experience this new chapter with us. BUT…as I’ve told myself a million times I can’t allow myself to live in the land of what if’s.

Eighteen.

Well...we had our appointment with the nurse practitioner today! "T" was thrilled that she got to look at THREE babies. :) I was her first with triplets.
We were able to watch them play around for about 15-20 minutes, which was nice. Talk about some very active children. :)
After a little persuading...we were able to see Baby A & Baby C's "stuff". T, Clif, and myself are fairly positive (T says that she is 90% sure) that A&C are.....

BOYS!

Baby C is definite, at least in my book. :) She took a still picture of him. He was all leaned back, legs spread wide...showing his stuff to whomever wanted to look. That's a man for ya!

Baby A isn't as definite... but we are pretty sure that we saw floppage (that's my new terminology) between his legs.

Whew. I don't know whether to smile or to have a panic attack. TWO boys. haha. No, really...I don't care what they are... I am just ecstatic that they are doing well.

T says that all the babies look great, that their sacks offer great separation... and that their fluid levels are "excellent". Thank you LORD!

As much as I DON'T care what the third baby is (Baby B)...I am praying praying praying that IT is a GIRL. We just have so much stuff for a little girl - and I just can't bring myself to get rid of it. PLUS, every mommy needs her little girl.

I already told Clif, half joking... but half serious (maybe more serious than joking) that if there isn't a girl in there - once I get the triplets weaned from breast milk - we are going back to Dr S for some more treatments. :) At this point, not only do I want a girl, but I am willing to have as many children as the Lord will bless us with!

Well...back in two weeks (28th) for our 20 week anatomy scan. Hopefully "B" will cooperate with V more than "it" did with T. Please please please... haha... the suspense is KILLING me.

Please join me in praying for GIRL parts :)

baby bumps!

Pictures taken with my best friend of sixteen years :) Aleisha is currently 33 weeks pregnant, carrying a baby boy...due to arrive on or around June 2nd. I, of course, am carrying triplets due September 14th - but hopefully they will arrive a few weeks sooner than that.
ANYway...Aleisha and I thought that it would be fun to take belly comparison shots, which it turned out to be very amusing :) Most of my weight gain (which actually, our weight gain is right at the same!) is mostly in my belly...and the ladies...lol. But my belly is growing sideways as well as frontwards. Aleisha is carrying mostly out front, and slightly pointy.
I love having SO many people to experience this pregnancy with. It's been such a blessing.

happy birthday husband!

Happy Birthday, Clif! :) I love you with all of my heart. I hope that you have a GREAT birthday weekend. Enjoy it, because you deserve it. xoxox

Incredibly BLESSED.

Wow. So I encountered this woman today - and I will admit that at first sight (actually I have seen her several times), I wouldn't think of her as a real "lady". I know that sounds horrible - but it's just the way that she carries herself.
If I had to guess, she is probably in her mid to late sixties - and just from the looks of it, she has led a really rough life. But she's always sweet as can be...to everyone that she comes into contact with.
ANYway...back to my point.
So I was helping her with some things - and upon seeing my stomach (oh my gosh - I feel like I have gotten SO much bigger in the last week... I don't think I have any room left to pop) she asked when my baby was due. :) I love when people ask when my baby is due, because I always reply with... THEY are due September 14th, but will more than likely be joining us in August. So I said my line - and she looked at me, and I nodded. "Yes, there is more than one. Actually - I am having triplets.
I wish you could have seen this woman's face light up with excitement...for someone that she doesn't even know! She immediately started asking questions. Do I know what they are yet? If I had to choose, what would I want? How am I feeling? Do the doctors foresee any complications?
And then she asked me the question that 90% of people ask. "Are these your first?" My answer varies - just depending on the person, and the situation. But most of the time I answer with, "This is my second pregnancy". I think most people get the clue from that. I always feel bad for not telling people that this is my second pregnancy, and that our daughter passed away almost seventeen months ago. But I also hate making people feel uncomfortable. So...the "this is my second pregnancy" answer is normally how I answer their questions.
Moving on. So after this dear woman asks me the question, she asks if they were naturally conceived. Getting kind personal! But oddly, I really didn't mind answering. I told her that they were conceived through fertility treatments.
She smiled and then he eyes glazed over. She stated, "Well... I am so happy for you - and wish you the best! The Lord never blessed me with children. But if He had... I know that my life would have been completely different, and that I would have loved them with everything I am." She went on to say that she had prayed and prayed for children, that all she wanted was to make her father a grandpa. And that he had died before she had the chance.
And then she told me something that broke my heart. After telling me that the Lord had not blessed her with Children, and that she had desperately WANTED a child - and that her dad had died, never knowing the joy of being a grandparent...she told me that, thirty five years ago she delivered a still born baby boy. She didn't say much about him, just that he would always hold a place in her heart. And how she wished that he had lived, and how much she would have loved him.
Seriously? Okay with everything that Clif and I have been through in the last year...PLUS my raging pregnancy hormones... I'm really lucky that I did not absolutely LOSE it right then and there. And I thought that she would cry too.
But she went on to say that God must have had a purpose for taking her son. And that she would see him again one day.
The thing that broke my heart was... for the first half of that conversation she didn't even acknowledge that she had children. She didn't mention having a baby boy.
From what I hear, thirty five years ago... still birth was not spoken of. Many women who experienced that horrible situation are ASHAMED, almost. Like it's a big dark secret that they are never allowed to talk about. Many women never even were able to SEE their child, let alone hold, kiss, mourn. They have nothing left of those children except memories of their pregnancies that they store deep inside.
How sad! She said that she hadn't even thought about how long it had been until seeing me today.
I wanted so badly to tell her my experience, and tell her all about my precious little Lilly. But I didn't. I don't think that I could have held it together - and I don't really think that it was the time or place.
All I can keep thinking is how SAD that is. Any loss is heartbreaking - but to experience something like giving birth to a still baby...and things being like they were back then. *sigh* It hit me deep inside.
I am so very thankful that I was given the opportunity to hold my baby girl. So thankful that Clif was able to see her, and kiss her. Thankful for the nurses on the thirteenth floor of RMH that took pictures of our Lilly Bean for us to cherish forever. Thankful for the sweet lady at the funeral home that prepared Lilly's body for her funeral... taking extra care, just to make me feel better. So thankful for the support of loved ones...and complete strangers.
I can't imagine being alone at a time like that. And I can't imagine not thinking of my baby every single day of my life.
In the midst of our sorrow...we were so incredibly blessed. And we still are. And this lady helped me see that today. :)

i still miss her.

With everything that I am.

With every fiber of my being.

I've missed her for 506 days...and I don't see that changing any time soon. She is on my mind constantly, every single day.

I can't believe it's been *almost* seventeen months since we said goodbye to her...before we even got the chance to say hello.

One fear that I've had since November 13,2009 is that I would forget. That I'd forget her...forget that day, forget the details of my pregnancy with her. Just forget. But I don't forget... I remember more and more by the day. Today, I am remembering the first time we saw our little Bean. April 15th,2009. In all reality, she didn't even look like a baby at that point...more like a blob...actually, like a bean :) I still remembering seeing and hearing her little heart beat for the first time. Laying there, Clif holding my hand... and tears running down my cheeks. There's nothing in the world like hearing the heart beat of your little baby.

Fast forward a few months - another ultrasound. In June... though I don't remember the exact day. It's the day that we learned we were having a Lillian Joy, not a Hayden James. I remember the look on Clif's face when V told us that we were most definitely having a little girl. "See those three lines," she asked, "you're having a little girl!" Again, tears rolled down my face...and I couldn't help but laugh. I'd been telling Clif all along that I was carrying a little girl inside of me.

A few months after that? Another TWO ultrasounds - 4D, actually. :) We saw what our little girl would look like. Kind of creepy at first, but amazing in the end.

All that to say - I still miss her. And just because this blog has had a lot of talk about our current blessings... doesn't mean that we have forgot our first. She is the reason for it all. And we will never forget.

SIXTEEN!

We made it to sixteen weeks! Actually, we're almost to seventeen now!! :) I can't even begin to express how truly thankful that we are for these special little blessings from God.
It's been a pretty exhausting week... and to tell you the truth, I can see now that Dr G is probably right when it comes to me having about eight weeks left of work. *sigh* As much as I hate to admit it... I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to handle the work load of every day life.
Please begin praying for me now, for the anxiety I am sure that I will experience when I am taken out of work. It's going to be rough...sitting at home, with my mind....knowing that after six short weeks we will have to seek out long term disability, unemployment options...and leave of absence from work. Well...actually, we will have eleven weeks before my FMLA is up - but only six weeks (maybe less?) will be paid time. ANYway...no need of even stressing over those kinds of things now anyways.
This week things have begun to sink in a little more...about having THREE babies. It's really hard to believe. It's very possible that at 16 weeks pregnant, I am half way through. I'm praying praying praying that we can hold out to 35 weeks. But I know that God is in control, and that His will will be done. :)
Speaking of 35 weeks...Clif and I watched an episode of "Make Room For Multiples" today that made me feel good. This girl (who was extremely small and petite to begin with!) was pregnant with triplets. She made it to 35 weeks! She was huge.ha! But she did it. She made it to the point that I pray to make it to every day. The babies were of course born via c-section. They had waited until that day to learn the sex of their three little ones. Three girls!! Their weights? 5.7lbs, 5.1lbs, and 6.2lbs. Can you believe it? I think one or two had to go to the NICU initially - just to be sure that they were breathing on their own, ect. But one went straight to the regular nursery. ALL THREE babies went home FOUR days after delivery. How awesome is that?
Now... Clif and I still expect our babies to have to spend time in the NICU - but we are also very aware that God performs miracles every single day - and that everything is possible...through HIM! :)
Ahhh... okay, it's 8, I worked today... and I am exhausted. I think it's time for the computer to go to sleep... along with one very tired mama!!! Happy weekend everyone :)

Sixteen weeks, sixteen pounds...and three healthy babies!

I have to say that these last few weeks I have been a lot less anxious about my pregnancy. :) It's been great... and I have actually begun to enjoy my pregnancy with our precious triplets!
Going into my doctors appointment today - I tried to remain calm. Tried being the main word in that sentence. We took my blood pressure before going in...and of course, it was elevated. But still... I wasn't stressing over it.
I got called back for weight (gained four pounds!!), blood pressure & urine specimen (which if that had come any later I probably would have created a small flood in the waiting room!). When the lady took my bp, she didn't say anything...so I assumed that it was high. I asked if it was elevated...and she was like, a little but it's actually not bad. :) Everyone in that office probably could see my grin. The top number was a little elevated... but considering what it's been the last two visits or so - it was great. Even Dr G & my nurse were impressed with the numbers.
Next came my office visit with Dr G. Can I just stop here and say that I love LoVe LOVE my doctor. :) He is seriously awesome. Anyways, Dr G came in...looked at my charts - said that he was pleased with my weight gain (16 pounds so far)...then we got to listen to babies!! We heard Baby C's heart beat pretty quickly, beating at 147-150bpm. He was searching for Baby B's heart when I told him that I had felt Baby A swimming around this past weekend. He looked at me - kinda like he didn't really believe that I had felt the babies moving this early. I pointed to where I had felt the baby move over the weekend - and as soon as he put the doppler to my finger...BOOM. Or should I say beat (around 160bpm that is!). :) I wanted to say, "told you so". Instead I just smiled. As did Dr G - saying, "Hm...I guess you did know where baby was!". Once again my heart beat is SO loud in my stomach - it's hard to pick up the babies. Baby B's heart beat was intertwined with mine. So I had Dr G check them all again. He then picked up Baby B loud and clear, ringing in at about 144bpm.
We were all very pleased at hearing all the babies heart beats - especially since we had such a scare two weeks ago. :) I love having a doctor who you can look at and just TELL that he enjoys his job - and who gets joy out of reassuring us that our babies are doing well. When he finds a heart beat - I think he enjoys it just as much as we do. Seriously...he just grins when he hears the heart's. *sigh*
Dr G says that everything looks good - and that I am at the "calm" stage of my pregnancy. He said that my blood pressure should start going down for the second trimester (which it has), that I'm not really at risk for pre-term labor, and that there isn't much risk of miscarriage either. :) All in all, he really put my mind at ease.
Unfortunately, we do not get to see Baby Genitals for another FOUR weeks. Can you see me pouting from here? I was really pulling for two weeks - but Dr G is a firm believer in 20 weeks. That's when we had our ultrasound with Lilly. BUT the way I see it - at least if we wait a whole month...they will be more developed, and we'll have a better chance at getting a peek.
However... I do have another appointment in two weeks. But Dr G isn't going to be in the office - so I am seeing a nurse practitioner, T. :) We saw her once during my last pregnancy, and I really really liked her!! In fact, I might have actually considered seeing her as my primary provider - BUT - she doesn't deliver. BUT she has an ultrasound machine in her exam room. :) And let me just tell you that this lady LOVES to look at babies. So I am fairly certain that when she finds out that there are THREE babies in there, she is going to want to play. So here's to hoping that the Smith Babies want to show their junk! :) At least let Mommy & Daddy catch a glance!!! We shall see.
God is so good...and Clif and I are both SOOOO thankful for the wonderful report today. We are just that much closer to meeting our little ones face to face.
OH...Dr G told me today that they would be monitoring the growth of the babies, and that as long as everything goes well - he will let me go between 36-38 weeks. However, he thinks I probably will go sooner than that. He also told me that I have approximately eight more weeks left of work before he takes me out. Which, it freaks me out a little... but I'm expecting it. So that's okay. :)
Well...American Idol is recording on the DVR - waiting to be watched. Yes... I admit... I'm an American Idol fan. :) So loving Casey & James!!
Hope everyone is having a great week!

Tomorrow = 16 weeks

First of all - here is a picture of the bump from last week, week 15 :)

So tomorrow I will be exactly sixteen weeks. I really can't believe that I have made it this far. I feel guilty for doubting that I'd make it this far. I know that God is with me all the way...

We also have a doctors appointment tomorrow afternoon at 3:30 :) One second I'm excited... and in the next, I'm nervous.

I guess I'm nervous because of what happened the last time. *sigh* I feel "great" (< as great as any woman 16 weeks pregnant with triplets can feel). I honestly think our babies are fine... but I know I'll feel so much better after I really KNOW. That's sounds crazy when I actually write it down. ha!

Anyways...so if you have a second, please say a quick prayer for me, the three Skittle's & Clif too - as we go to our doctors appointment tomorrow.

Also - please pray for a friend, R, who is going in early tomorrow morning for her c-section. Please pray that Mama and Baby H both do well. :) Good luck, praying for you guys!!!

calm my ANXIOUS heart

Let me start off by saying that I have one of the greatest church families in the world. No lie. Our group may be small, but we are close knit…and everyone is so caring and loving. Clif and I have truly been blessed to be part of such an amazing church.



Last night after our Wednesday night Bible study, one of the ladies gave me a gift. After getting home and looking at it – it was a book. One that I had never heard of… but I have to admit, it was like the title fit my life. :)


I started reading this book today on my lunch break…and well, I’ll just tell you all about it :) The book you ask?


“Calm My Anxious Heart” by: Linda Dillow


“WOW” is all that I can say. I am currently nineteen pages into the book, and already – I have been blessed!

As you all know – since becoming pregnant with triplets, my heart has been very anxious. Along with every other part of my body. And reading those first few pages of this book, I have been shown some things that I need to start working on. Especially to make it through the coming months, until my babies are here safe with me.

In the opening pages, the author, Linda Dillow writes these words…
“At all times, in all circumstances, Christ is able and willing to provide the strength we need to be content. Contentment occurs when Christ’s strength is infused into my weak body, soul and spirit.” (Phil. 4:13)
I want to be content. I need to be content. I need to do something to calm the anxiety constantly rising inside of me. In my heart.


The thing that hit me the hardest had to be the story told of the two monks…


“I need oil,” said an ancient monk, so he planted an olive sapling. “Lord,” he prayed, “it needs rain that it’s tender roots may drink and swell Send gentle showers.” And the Lord sent gentle showers. “Lord,” prayed the monk,“my tree needs sun. Send sun, I pray thee.” And the sun shone, gilding the dripping clouds. “Now frost my Lord,to brace it’s tissues,” cried the monk. And behold, the little tree stood sparkling with frost. But at evening it died.


Then the monk sought the cell of a brother monk, and told his strange experience. “I, too, planted a tree,” he said, “and see!It thrives well. But I entrust my tree to it’s God. He who made it knows better what it needs than a man like me. I laid no condition.I fixed not ways or means.” ‘Lord, send what it needs,’ I prayed, ‘ storm or sunshine, wind, rain, or frost. Thou has made it and Thou dost know.”



Linda says:


“I had failed to make God my trust because I tried too hard. You may be like me or you may be at the other
end of the spectrum. You fail to make God your trust by default. Your life is out of control, so you give up.”


“We miss God. We miss His infusion of strength that leads to contentment”


I have found that maybe I shouldn’t be praying… “God…will you do this? And will you do it this way – and by this time?” But instead, “God… I am putting these babies completely in your hands.” I don’t need to lay conditions. God made these babies that are growing inside of me… and He knows what they need. And He knows the outcome of their little lives. He knows…and I just need to let Him control things.

fourteen...a few days late :)

Ahhh...finally! We reach the third trimester. :) Actually, I'm a little late getting this post out.lol. I'll be fifteen weeks on Wednesday. I cannot believe how quickly this pregnancy seems to be going.

For the most part - I feel great. My blood pressure remains manageable. And believe it or not - it is much lower when I up on my feet and active. :) Which makes me happy. I tend to get tired by mid afternoon, and back aches are starting. But I welcome it all. Oh, and did I mention heart burn?? It's horrible. I can literally drink a bottle of water and get heart burn. ha! I remember this with Lilly too... I had heart burn from about 10 weeks all the way until the day of delivery - and then, boom. It was gone.

As I said in my last post, I gained five pounds in two weeks. CANNOT believe that. Before we found out that we were having multiples - I had only planned on gaining twenty pounds. That went out the window!! So far, at almost fifteen weeks, I've gained about ten pounds. It's a little depressing. BUT I have to tell you all that I went to buy new maternity pants yesterday (for work!) and I am still in the same size pants as I was BEFORE I got pregnant. THAT made me very happy. The majority of the weight I have gained has been gained in my tummy (all baby...grow babies grow!) and in higher regions. :)

Well...just wanted to give a quick little update on how things are going. Clif and I go back to see Dr G on March 30th, and then hopefully two weeks after that we will know the sex of our little Skittle's. SO SO SO excited about finding out. I feel like I will finally be able to start planning and decorating. Before I was really feeling two girls and a boy... but now I am HOPING for two boys and a girl. Only time will tell...

Thank you all so much for your continued prayer for me, babies, and for Clif too! :) Speaking of prayer, if you think of it... please say a prayer for a blogger friend of mine - Annette. She lost her second baby a few days ago, "Little Bee". Annette and her hubby suffered the loss of their beautiful little daughter, Valentina, just a short time ago. I can't imagine the pain that they are feeling as of now. :( Love ya, Annette!!

talk about a scare...

So my precious Skittle's gave Mommy and Daddy a bit of a scare this afternoon. >.&lt;

Dr G came in, and (you guessed it) I was laying on my left side. Of course my blood pressure was high when they finally called me back. But once again, my urine revealed no protein...so we're good.

He had me roll over on my back so we could take a listen...and a fell. Ouch! I'm sore. Dr G says it's not time to start measuring me yet - BUT that  I have grown considerably in the last two weeks (I should have! I gained five pounds!!!). My uterus is now almost even with my belly button. :) Growing babies. So he took out the doppler - and of course, my heart beat dominated over A,B & C's. We finally heard Baby A's - and possibly Baby B's (

We lucked out and she was between appointments so they hurried me in and up onto the table. Dr G went with me, which at first freaked me out - but then made me feel better. Lights went out, and tada! Three babies (that actually look like babies now!!) and three little beating hearts. Thank you God!! Dr G says that they all appear to be about the same size - and that fluid levels are normal for this stage in pregnancy. Ah, what a relief to see my little ones after four long weeks.

Dr G also set my mind at ease about the blood pressure. It really hasn't been super high - in fact, they say that they don't really worry about the bottom number until it reaches high 90s - into the hundreds. And he also said that it normally doesn't become a problem until the third trimester. :) So I do feel better about that.

All in all - it was a really good appointment (aside from the scare and barely missed melt down!). We go back to see Dr G in two weeks and hopefully two weeks after that we will know the sex of the Skittle's.

Clif seems to think (actually swears) that Baby A is a boy. Only time will tell. When we saw them today - Baby A was punching my insides. CANNOT wait until I can feel that little boxer move!! :)

Well, that's all for now... just wanted to give everyone a quick update on how things went!! Hope everyone has a good rest of the week, and a great weekend.

13w4d

:) Not much change in belly size since last week - or at least, I can't really tell. Please continue to pray for the growth of our little ones & the health of Mommy (aka me!). Ligament pains are better most days, and then other days they are twice as bad. Learned that my friend having the twins is experiencing the same pains - so at least I know I'm not alone, and going completely crazy!
Clif and I have our next appointment with Dr G on this coming up Thursday - I plan on discussing the flu shot & a high risk doctor, if necessary.
Well...that's all I've got this morning. We're off to church! God bless...

minor melt down :)

So I might have had a minor melt down yesterday. Well… it actually started the day before yesterday. With this pregnancy, I’m going to be on pins and needles until these babies are here…safe in my arms. Naturally!

But the night before last I started feeling like I was walking with a bowling ball between my legs. Literally! I was SO uncomfortable. The bottom of my stomach felt like it weighed a ton…and I had little shooting pains in my sides. I really didn’t feel any pressure… but I did feel pressure. If that even makes sense.

So after an afternoon and night of worry, yesterday morning I decided to call my doctors office and speak with my nurse, “J”. I’m pretty sure that I’ve mentioned J before – because she went through a very similar situation with a previous pregnancy of hers. She has even told me on several occasions that when she was pregnant with her son, she was afraid to go to the bathroom for nine months. So sad. ANYways…all that to say, I really like my nurse. She’s awesome… and seems to really care. I had to leave a message for her – but she called me back within like fifteen minutes. As soon as she asked me what was going on – I started to tear up. I just couldn’t help it! I explained to her the feelings in my stomach. She asked if I had been cramping. No. Had I been spotting or bleeding? Nope. She then asked if my “pain” (for lack of better word) was “V” shaped. Actually, yes… it is kind of. It starts at the low part of my sides and goes under my belly – right down to my pubic bone. J says that she is almost certain that it’s ligament growth/stretching pains.

And ya know… I remember having them with Lilly. BUT they came MUCH later in my pregnancy. And I guess it never crossed my mind… I just automatically think something is wrong. Nurse J reminded me that things will start happening a lot sooner this time – because, as Dr S put it, I’m having three pregnancies. I’m 13 weeks pregnant as of today – I don’t remember feeling this until at LEAST 20 weeks with Lilly, possibly father along than that!! Duh! I feel so dumb calling Dr G’s office every time I have a little ache or pain… but like I told J yesterday, I’m freaking out… ALL the time. It’s just how it’s going to be.


That’s something that I’ve come to terms with. I would have been stressed with a single pregnancy. I was stressed at the mention of TWO pregnancies… and I’m afraid they all but lost me at three. Okay, it’s not that bad. It’s just that I’m worry wart anyways. Before all of this pregnancy stuff came about. Before I got pregnant… before I got married. I’m just one of those people that worry about things that they can’t control. Ever been like that??

I know and believe with all of my heart that God gave us these three babies… and no matter what happens – they will be used for Him. He has a purpose for those little lives, and I cannot wait to find out what His purposes are.

Well…I have had a hard time finding the energy to update my blog as often as I used to. As often as I’d like to. I fear that people that are going to think that this blog, created out of heartache is turning into a pregnancy blog. Not really the case… it’s just my life. My journey. I think that’s why I titled it “Journey to Motherhood”… because it has been a journey… and continues to be. I find it very easy to share my heart here – oddly enough, with *mostly* complete strangers. But I like it. It’s therapeutic. It really has been a huge help in my healing process.

Anyway… since I haven’t been updating like I want – I want to leave you all with a few prayer requests. Most of these requests are for friends of mine that are also expecting little bundles of joy… but a few are not :)

~R – who is expecting twin girls in July.
~R – who is expecting a little girl, any day!
~K – who is expecting a little one September 15th – the day after me!
~B – who is expecting a little one towards the end of September – just a week & 1 day after me!
~A – A blogger friend who is expecting…not sure when. I think she is about 6 weeks pregnant?
~A – my best friend that is 28 weeks pregnant with a baby boy, due on June 2nd. My wedding anniversary!
~C – a girl that works at the same company as me… who is currently 8 weeks pregnant?
~And as always, please continue to pray for my health and the wellbeing of our three little ones. That God would grow them like they need to grow – and that they will be here in a few short months, live and healthy :)


I am SURE that I missing some people in there – and if I forgot you, please forgive me!! My brain cells are going out the window faster and faster these days!!! And now some other requests…


~Please pray that if it be God’s will that He may open the door up to a day time position where Clif works. The job that he applied & interviewed for fell through :) Which is okay – we take that as God telling us that it wasn’t time yet.
~Please pray for a friend, “A”. She is having some physical problems – and the doctors just can’t seem to get it together. No one knows where the problems lies, and this has been going on since she was pregnant with her little boy :(

name that baby!

So it's 9:02pm...and I'm eating Wendy's Chili. Not very smart - huh? I actually already had heartburn from the Baked Spaghetti that my mom cooked for lunch.Oh well... what's done is done - if I puke, I puke. :)
The morning started off pretty good today... slept in with my hubby (he had to work last night and didn't get home until about 7:00 this morning!). Got up, ate some breakfast (1/2 bagel & strawberries...YUM) and then got ready and headed out to church.
After church I headed to Mom's house for lunch. When I got there I checked my blood pressure, and it was slightly elevated (though - thinking about it, I HAD just walked up their stairs). Anyway... I got it to come down with just sitting, but it was still higher than I like. So after I finished up there, I headed home to crawl back into bed with Clif and take a nap. :) An hour and a half did me good... and I got up feeling somewhat refreshed. My blood pressure has been pretty good since, mainly because I have been laying around on the couch.
I know I'm probably starting to sound paranoid...and people probably think I'm ridiculous for checking my blood pressure every two seconds... BUT...I think that I have reason. And I think that I am going to have to accept that my bp isn't going to stay 120/75 like I want it to :) Because I have a LOT going on inside me. Three babies is bound to get the bp up a little, right?
Well...with only six weeks or so before finding out what our little Skittles are, we have started to throw around some baby names! It's been fun... and we've settled completely on three girl names - which I will not disclose at this time. Ha! But we've only come of with TWO boy names, one of which I'm not really sold on.
All the names that we have chosen so far start with an "E"... anyone have any suggestions for boy names starting with "E"?
We have also decided on nursery colors, no matter the sex of the babies. :) We will be using a pale green (the same color that we originally painted Lilly's room) and brown. This way if we have girls we can incorporate pink, and if we have boys we can incorporate blue. I figure it's a win win...and that way we can go ahead and get started on things NOW while I am still mostly mobile.
OH! Something cool that happened...Clif recently ran into a nurse from RMH (the hospital where Lilly was born) and recognized her as one of the very few nurses that were kind to me on the floor they moved me to after my c-section. He said that she had taken care of me while recovering from a csection, and she argued saying that I would have recovered on the Labor & Delivery floor (which she does not work on). Clif explained to her that our daughter had been born still, and that the doctors had moved me of the L&D floor. She asked my name, and when Clif told her "Desiree"...she immediately remembered me. And our story. AND she even told Clif the room number that I was in during my stay on her floor. Weird? Anyways...she was really excited as Clif told her that we are expecting triplets in September. :) She went on sharing the news with other nurses...and I'm sure that word leaked to the Maternity Ward.
SO many people have made it known that they are thinking of, and more importantly, PRAYING for us and the babies. And I cannot even begin to tell you how much this means to Clif and I.
Currently I am at peace. I know that whatever comes - God is in control of it all :) I believe that His intent is to bless us...more than we have been already. Oh, are we blessed. And though I am a bit worried about my bp, and the whole idea of carrying three babies...I know that in the end, everything will work out as it should. My God is watching over me. He has plans for my life... and those plans do not include harm towards me.
God is so good...we are blessed...

                                                            ....and I'm sleepy :) Goodnight!

12w2d

I really plan to take at least one picture per week :) I want to document everything about this pregnancy that I can... and when carrying multiples...size is a big part of that!

So I'm 12 weeks and headed full speed for the second trimester. And SO thankful to be there. Though it doesn't even begin to calm my nerves completely - it's like I have just crossed an invisible line. I made it to twelve weeks! I don't know...may sound stupid... but it made me feel good.

At twelve weeks, I have gained between 2-4 1/2 pounds (I think). Dr G told me that I should only gain a few pounds in the first trimester - so I feel a little accomplished there.

Clif and I are continuing to trust God with this pregnancy. :) Will keep you all posted.

short & sweet

I am exhausted and it's been a very hectic last few days with work and such :) But I wanted to update and say that my appointment with Dr G went very well yesterday.
He didn't change my blood pressure medication - he was pretty well satisfied with how it had been running. :) Except yesterday. *laugh* Of course, I have "white coat syndrome" when it comes to any type of doctor. So my bp was up a little when we finally were called back. They sent me to the exam room and had me lie on my left side - and literally two minutes later, Dr G came in and took it again. It was perfect. He told me to go ahead and roll over on my back so we could "take a listen" to the babies. When I rolled over - Dr G was like, wow...you've gotten a lot bigger since I saw you last. I just felt like saying - oh thanks!
It was semi difficult to pick up the heart beats, number one because I'm only twelve weeks - and there are three of them in there. And secondly - when he stuck the doppler to my tummy, MY heart beat was super loud. :) We heard Baby B & C pretty good, and A was a little harder to hear because s/he likes to hide down by my pubic bone. I heard a very faint something, and Dr G was very confident that it was the third heart beat. He says that everything looks good... and he wants to see me again in two weeks.
Crazy thing... he showed me where my "fundus" is (the top of the uterus) is. At twelve weeks - it's normally about an inch or two above the pubic bone. MINE is about an inch and a half below my BELLY BUTTON. Really? ha!
Clif and I are so grateful - and praising God for yet another good report. We are so blessed to be given three precious babies.

In Memory Of Lillian Joy

A video that I have created in Honor of our precious Baby Girl. She's been on my mind a lot lately - and I wanted to do something in memory of her :) So here it is. Please be warned that there are photos of Lilly from the hospital - some people may find "disturbing". We find them beautiful. I love you Lillian Joy!

eleven.

Eleven weeks pregnant with my little miracles :) It's been a LONG week... but thankful to be starting a new one. We have our second appointment with Dr G on Wednesday - will update afterwards!!

Belly Shots :)

10w3d

...and exhausted. :)

Thought that I would update on everything going on. Things with me and babies seem to be going really well. I'm still experiencing some morning sickness... but it has slowed down. If in the event that I feel like I'm going to hurl, I can normally take a Zofran and feel semi-human.
Blood pressure has been doing really good with the medication. I went to Kroger last night and walked around for right at thirty minutes, and when I came out of the store I took my blood pressure in the truck, and it was 127/80. Needless to say - that made me smile! It's also helped (a lot) with the anxiety that I've been experiencing thus far with this pregnancy. Of course, nothing is going to take away all my worries... and they won't be gone until the triplets are here in our arms. But it's nice to have a little relief.
I currently am dealing with a head cold/sinus thing...which stinks. I called my nurse yesterday to give her some information about my FMLA, and also asked her if there was anything that I could take for my cold. I had a list of safe over the counter drugs that I can take - BUT - I happened to think, since I'm on the Labatelol, I might should ASK them before I take anything. And sure enough... I could have taken Tylenol Cold...but... they took it off the market, for some off unknown reason :( She told me that I could take Sudafed, but as soon as she told me that...Dr G was at her side, writing a note saying that Sudafed causes hyper tension. Wanna know what I can take? Nothing. Well...almost nothing. They said that I can use saline nose spray. Um... I think not. So I get to suffer and wait it out. Ha! Okay, it's not THAT bad... but it's still uncomfortable, and it makes sleeping a chore. I can't breath through my nose 80% of the time, so every morning for the last 4-5 days, I have woken up to a bloody top lip :( It's been splitting and re-splitting every night. Even with chapstick!
Okay, enough whining. :) Today I have had a little more energy than usual. And I stress a little. But it's been nice. I had to work eight forty five to twelve today, then I met my parents for lunch. After lunch I headed to Wal*Mart to pick up some needed supplies (like brownie mix to surprise Clif with!). I finally got home around two, and put a roast (with carrots & potatoes) on the stove, loaded the dishwasher, and started a load of laundry. I feel rather accomplished, considering I haven't d one any real cooking or cleaning in about a month now.
Now...all that aside, I guess there is somewhere I haven't really ventured lately. How's the grief aspect of everything? How are we holding up?
I'd say...honestly, that most days we are okay. I don't think there is a single day that we don't talk about Lilly. I mean, even today we met up with one of my friends in WalMart & were talking about cribs, and baby birth weights... and we openly talked about Lilly's birth weight of 5lb9.5oz. And that was fine. It felt normal?
I won't lie...I know that it's going to be tough. I actually dread going to the hospital on delivery day. But only because of the bittersweet experience I had the last time I was there. But I know that God is there, and that He will hold my hand all the way :)
God is teaching us many things with this pregnancy, already. Clif and I are different with one another... in a good way. He's always looking out for me, and meets my every need. God is teaching me trust... in a whole new way. It's so hard trusting Someone else with the lives of my three babies. But then again, I'm not in control at all. But He is completely. He is teaching us to pray all over again... in a whole new way. I know that I have said this for what may seem a million times, but Clif and I are incredibly blessed.. And we know that. And there hasn't been a day that has gone by since early January that we don't thank Him for what He has given us.
I hope and pray that each and every one of you have a wonderful weekend. Filled with love, happiness, and joy.

the bump :)

Just few updated pictures of the belly... that seems to grow more and more each day. I'm holding at about a pound and a half weight gain. :) Today I am 9w6d. We take our 10 week picture on Saturday!!

blessing after blessing...

Clif and I both feel...incredibly blessed. In these past few months, God has given us SO much to be grateful for. First, the gift of pregnancy. After losing Lilly, I honestly didn't know if I would ever become pregnant again. So pregnancy in itself was a huge blessing. Then we were doubly blessed when we found that we were expecting twins. A week later, God caught us by surprise once again. Pregnant with TRIPLETS. We couldn't believe it...too good to be true. :)


I've done a lot of thinking these past three weeks. It had been three whole weeks since I saw our three babies and their little blinking heart beats. Three weeks since I fell head over heels in love with our precious blessings. But three weeks is a long time. I kept thinking, a lot can go wrong in three weeks. With much prayer, I kept most of these negative thoughts at bay - but of course, just like every other situation... there were always a few lurking in the dark waiting to jump out and grab me. I've been really anxious these last few days...the anticipation enough to KILL me. But as we were driving to the doctors office, I felt a peace. For the first time in weeks, I really felt like everything was going to be okay.

At one thirty, the ultrasound tech, V, came to get us from the waiting room. We went into her TINY (and I do mean tiny) room and I plopped myself up on the table. V asked if I had been given a due date by Dr S. I told her no, and that I was fairly certain that I was 9 weeks 5 days pregnant. She plugged in all my numbers and dates, and sure enough - I was right on the money. And so were our three little Skittle's. All three babies measured exactly nine weeks and five days. Fluid levels are good, and all three babies are very active. Especially Baby A (I think that s/he really liked the grilled chicken with honey mustard that I had eaten for lunch!).

I have to say that there is absolutely nothing like hearing your babies heart beat for the first time. It has to be the most magical feeling in the world. Definitely on the top of my favorite things to listen to. I always love to hear about girls that are pregnant for the first time going to the doctor and hearing the heart beat. It seriously just melts you. I cried. Three times :) Everytime V let us listen to another heart beat, all I could do was send up silent praises and let the tears roll down my cheeks. I had been so scared... and there were all three of my babies, unharmed, and doing wonderfully! Speaking of heart rates... I have to tell you that I think we are having two girls and a boy, or very possibly three girls. Ha! Clif says two boys and a girl. The only reason that I am leaning towards more girls than boys is because of how fast their little hearts were beating. Baby A's was at the top with 188bpm, Baby B was right behind at 185bpm, and Baby C was right there with them at 178bpm. Amazing :) Oh, and did I mention how excited V & Dr G both were that all three babies have their own sacks...and their own placentas? V said that since they have their own placentas, that we shouldn't have to worry about all three babies fighting for survival, if you will :) They all have their own source of food. Of course, she said that in some rare cases they will try and steal from each other - but it isn't likely. That made us REALLY happy.

I think that the best part of being in the room with V was that we are fairly sure that she is a Christian. She's always been very sweet, and I've never heard her say an ill word - but yesterday was great. Right when she was about to start the ultrasound - she asked if we just had the one baby at home. I explained to her (again) that our last pregnancy resulted in a stillbirth at 41 weeks. She immediately apologized for not remembering - and I assured her that it wasn't her fault. I mean, imagine how many patients she sees. She couldn't possibly remember them all. Anyway...Clif told him that we had been praying for a long time, and that God had really blessed us. She went on saying that God had very special ways of blessing us, and that God is good :) It was so nice to have that little connection with her.

My appointment with Dr G was supposed to be at 2:15. Well apparently, one of his patients was in labor at the hospital - so he had to go and see how she was progressing. Which meant I didn't get to see Dr G until *almost* 3:30. But that's okay. I kind of thought that it might be a slightly negative appointment...ya know, Dr G discussing all the risks and such. But it wasn't like that AT ALL. It was wonderful. He was SO positive and upbeat about almost everything. We could really tell that he was genuinely excited for us. It made me feel really good. And he had really good stories to tell us about his last set of triplets. He delivered them in December... and the mother made it to THIRTY EIGHT WEEKS. Can you imagine?

Of course it really just depends on how the babies progress and grow. If they start to run out of room, they will go ahead and take them. Otherwise, as long as I am fairly healthy and my blood pressure is good... they will let me carry as long as possible, up to 36-37 weeks. More than likely, the way Dr G talks... he seems to think that they will probably get too big to carry, or that I may go into labor early. Just depends :) Either way I am really looking forward to meeting our little ones in person!

Oh, and the blood pressure issue. *insert smile here* Dr G put my heart and mind at ease, which was nice for once. He said that in the first trimester, elevated blood pressure really doesn't pose any threat. Also, he said that it normally drops back down in the second trimester and then back up in the third. With my history, and the last pregnancy... he decided to put me back on the Labatelol that Dr W put me on for anxiety attacks :) Just 100mg, once a day. He said that should be plenty for now... to take it first thing in the morning, and that it should get me through the day while at work. And by the time it wears off I will be home off my feet anyway. So he wants to see me again in two weeks to check and see how my body is reacting to the meds.

For once, in a long time... I am happy. Really happy. Again, I feel so incredibly blessed I can barely contain it. And I can't believe that we're going to have THREE babies. Oh and FYI - my official due date is September 14th :) Which, we all know that I won't make it to then... but it's nice to have.

Now I will shut up so you can enjoy some pictures of our little angels :) Thanks to each of you for your love, support, and prayers!!

i am blessed :)

I cannot believe how I have absolutely NO energy. I'm telling you... it's all I can do to make it through eight hours of work, and make it home in one piece. :) Seriously exhausted. By the time I hit the door and eat dinner, I am passed out on the couch for the rest of the night.
I have literally been asleep by eight o'clock every night for like the last two or three weeks. It's kind of ridiculous. But I'd say it's fairly normal. I remember being tired during my first trimester with Lilly... but this is a whole new world of tired.
Please continue to pray for us, as the news of TRIPLETS is still sinking in. It's actually a LOT to swallow, which I'm sure that you can understand. I'm not scared. And I'm not even really super nervous. Just...excited? I don't know how to express the emotions that I've been feeling. I am a little anxious about the months to come.
Will I be able to keep them inside my womb long enough for them to be born healthy? How long will I be able to work? Will I be able to keep my job, despite being out on leave for (more than likely) MONTHS on end? What about insurance?
But ya know what? For once in my life... I'm not stressing about this stuff. That's right... me not stressing. Which is hard for ME to even believe.
I really believe that God has this whole situation in His hands... and that everything will go according to His perfect plan.
I don't know what this pregnancy will bring. I don't know what twists and turns our lives may take over these next few months. But (again), for once, I'm not worried about it. I'm trying with everything that I am to TRUST Him with everything concerning this pregnancy.
Speaking of... please pray for me, physically. Not only being pregnant with triplets... but having the PCOS and symptoms that come along with the territory.
What exactly am I talking about? My blood pressure. It hasn't been super high, and it's been "within normal limits" BUT it's still higher than I would like. :) But I'm not the one that controls that, huh? It actually spiked over last weekend. My bp normally runs 120s over 70s-80s. Well, over the weekend it went up to mid-high 130s over mid-high 80s. I called Dr G's office on Monday (for the second time in less that two weeks!!) and talked to the nurse about my bp. I have my parents bp machine - so I have been able to keep a close watch on it. I told her what it had been reading, and she said that since it's "within normal limits" that they weren't going to do anything at that point and time. Dr G was on vacation this week, so she consulted with the nurse Practitioner, and they decided that I will be fine until my appointment on Monday. Yup, that's right... I have an appointment on Valentine's day :) Aw.
Nurse Jill also  told me that depending on what my blood pressure is when I go in on Monday - he might put me on medication for it. Or he might want to hold off for a little while. :) I'm really hoping that he will just put me on a low dosage (as long as it's safe), just for peace of mind.
I haven't done much walking around for a week now. Mostly sitting, people doing things for me. :) Clif and I DID manage to cook dinner, a team effort, the night before last. It was the first time my kitchen has been cooked in for almost three weeks. The smell of food just makes me want to throw my guts up. Ha!
As for the morning sickness, or I guess I should say evening sickness, it's gotten a lot better. I still have my nauseous moments... but for the most part, it's gone. Last week was a really bad week though - and I ended up calling Dr G's office to express some concerns. One being the morning sickness, and another being really bad lower back pain. The back pain, I was told, is because my uterus is expanding at a crazy rate. Hm. I guess I really hadn't thought about that. Nurse Jill was like, well... you have to think. With one baby, your uterus is the size of a grapefruit at this point. And you have THREE babies in there! Made me feel better. Dr G said to take tylenol and use a heating pad when I needed. As for the morning sickness, they called me in Zofran, aka, the miracle drug.
I also expressed my concerns to Jill... just about BEING pregnant. I told her that my last pregnancy resulted in a still birth at almost 41 weeks... and that every little symptom, every little ache or pain... anything that I notice that's different... it worries me. She told me that she wished that she could tell me that I wouldn't worry, and that it would get better - but she couldn't. She said that she has been through a very similar situation, and that she was on edge her whole pregnancy with her (live, healthy) son.
I try and take comfort in knowing that I grow babies well. They like to stay inside me, and they stay fairly healthy. Oh, and Clif and I make pretty babies... if I do say so myself. :) I'm really just trying to keep my chin up, and my heart in sync with His. I know and believe that He will take care of us. And any time I start to doubt those words... Clif is right there reminding me.
I am so thankful to have such a wonderful husband, a wonderful family, three beautiful babies growing inside me, and most importantly... a loving God.
I am blessed.