Wednesday, March 9, 2011

minor melt down :)

So I might have had a minor melt down yesterday. Well… it actually started the day before yesterday. With this pregnancy, I’m going to be on pins and needles until these babies are here…safe in my arms. Naturally!

But the night before last I started feeling like I was walking with a bowling ball between my legs. Literally! I was SO uncomfortable. The bottom of my stomach felt like it weighed a ton…and I had little shooting pains in my sides. I really didn’t feel any pressure… but I did feel pressure. If that even makes sense.

So after an afternoon and night of worry, yesterday morning I decided to call my doctors office and speak with my nurse, “J”. I’m pretty sure that I’ve mentioned J before – because she went through a very similar situation with a previous pregnancy of hers. She has even told me on several occasions that when she was pregnant with her son, she was afraid to go to the bathroom for nine months. So sad. ANYways…all that to say, I really like my nurse. She’s awesome… and seems to really care. I had to leave a message for her – but she called me back within like fifteen minutes. As soon as she asked me what was going on – I started to tear up. I just couldn’t help it! I explained to her the feelings in my stomach. She asked if I had been cramping. No. Had I been spotting or bleeding? Nope. She then asked if my “pain” (for lack of better word) was “V” shaped. Actually, yes… it is kind of. It starts at the low part of my sides and goes under my belly – right down to my pubic bone. J says that she is almost certain that it’s ligament growth/stretching pains.

And ya know… I remember having them with Lilly. BUT they came MUCH later in my pregnancy. And I guess it never crossed my mind… I just automatically think something is wrong. Nurse J reminded me that things will start happening a lot sooner this time – because, as Dr S put it, I’m having three pregnancies. I’m 13 weeks pregnant as of today – I don’t remember feeling this until at LEAST 20 weeks with Lilly, possibly father along than that!! Duh! I feel so dumb calling Dr G’s office every time I have a little ache or pain… but like I told J yesterday, I’m freaking out… ALL the time. It’s just how it’s going to be.

That’s something that I’ve come to terms with. I would have been stressed with a single pregnancy. I was stressed at the mention of TWO pregnancies… and I’m afraid they all but lost me at three. Okay, it’s not that bad. It’s just that I’m worry wart anyways. Before all of this pregnancy stuff came about. Before I got pregnant… before I got married. I’m just one of those people that worry about things that they can’t control. Ever been like that??

I know and believe with all of my heart that God gave us these three babies… and no matter what happens – they will be used for Him. He has a purpose for those little lives, and I cannot wait to find out what His purposes are.

Well…I have had a hard time finding the energy to update my blog as often as I used to. As often as I’d like to. I fear that people that are going to think that this blog, created out of heartache is turning into a pregnancy blog. Not really the case… it’s just my life. My journey. I think that’s why I titled it “Journey to Motherhood”… because it has been a journey… and continues to be. I find it very easy to share my heart here – oddly enough, with *mostly* complete strangers. But I like it. It’s therapeutic. It really has been a huge help in my healing process.

Anyway… since I haven’t been updating like I want – I want to leave you all with a few prayer requests. Most of these requests are for friends of mine that are also expecting little bundles of joy… but a few are not :)

~R – who is expecting twin girls in July.
~R – who is expecting a little girl, any day!
~K – who is expecting a little one September 15th – the day after me!
~B – who is expecting a little one towards the end of September – just a week & 1 day after me!
~A – A blogger friend who is expecting…not sure when. I think she is about 6 weeks pregnant?
~A – my best friend that is 28 weeks pregnant with a baby boy, due on June 2nd. My wedding anniversary!
~C – a girl that works at the same company as me… who is currently 8 weeks pregnant?
~And as always, please continue to pray for my health and the wellbeing of our three little ones. That God would grow them like they need to grow – and that they will be here in a few short months, live and healthy :)

I am SURE that I missing some people in there – and if I forgot you, please forgive me!! My brain cells are going out the window faster and faster these days!!! And now some other requests…

~Please pray that if it be God’s will that He may open the door up to a day time position where Clif works. The job that he applied & interviewed for fell through :) Which is okay – we take that as God telling us that it wasn’t time yet.
~Please pray for a friend, “A”. She is having some physical problems – and the doctors just can’t seem to get it together. No one knows where the problems lies, and this has been going on since she was pregnant with her little boy :(


bnpatgentry said...

We will definitely be praying for you and everyone on your prayer list...I know how you are feeling with the pains and all mine started at about 8weeks with both of my kids! Seeing how I eventually found out from the on-call dr. that delivered Jake that my uterus sits leaned back and tilted with a bit of a different shape than most women that is one of the reasons I would always have pains and go to the ER. Anyway, do not stress so much, I know it is hard on ya but it will all work out how it is supposed to!! Good Luck and Keep us posted...and if you could please tell Clif that Josh’s Uncle Billy sends big Congrats and Best of luck to the 5 of you!!

That corgi :) said...

one of the things I pray for, for you, is that you will have "joy" in this pregnancy, you know, trying to relax, not be anxious about it, etc. I can see how you would be concerned with everything going on, but I think it is great you have a caring doctor/nurse; I would call them as often as you feel the need to rather than "stew" too much over things as they will help calm your thoughts and give you advice if needed. I'm a worry wart so I know what you go through; will continue to pray for you


Anonymous said...

Prayers, prayers, and more prayers for you and all of your friends!

The Blue Sparrow said...

I'd of had a melt down too, that would scare me too. I'm glad that it was nothing serious but I will for sure keep you in my prayers! (((HUGS)))

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