short...sweet...

...and to the point.




Today I went to Wendy's for lunch (and yes, it was semi healthy. Well...kinda. I had a burger and baked potato...though I would have rather had a triple baconator & fries...and I think the babies agreed with me!).

After we said a prayer over our food - I noticed a Virginia State Trooper sit down across from our table. He put his tray on the table, removed his hat, and bowed his head to pray. He didn't speak out loud... though his lips did move. I could tell that he was sincere in what he was praying. This man not only took the time to bow and thank God for his food... but he wasn't concerned about what people might think about him. He took his time... in fact, his prayer lasted such a long time that I was beginning to wonder if he was okay.

Finally, after several minutes... he opened his eyes, unwrapped his burger and ate his lunch. I'm not really sure why this touched me the way it did... but, it did. It was nice to see for a change. :) And it was a bonus that he was a State Trooper... and that he didn't care about what he may look like. I happen to think that it made him look much more like a man. :)

Felt like I should share...

prayers...again.

Please say a prayer for a friend of ours, "A", that lost his mother yesterday. I don't really know any of the details, I just know that this family need prayer.

Thanks!

14 days = eternity

It seems that with every passing moment I become more and more nervous. Nervous for January to get here...nervous to be disappointed once again. Nervous about it not being a disappointment. Nervous that we may have our prayers answered.


I'm torn on how to feel about this. I want to think that we'll receive the news that we've been waiting to hear. But then this little voice in the back of my head tells me that I'll never have it. Should I really be happy?? I mean...afterall, my daughter did die a year ago. Should be I be trying to have another baby?

As the fourteen day mark approaches... I feel like throwing up. Not literally...though I wish it was!! I don't want to test. I don't want to see another big fat "no". People keep asking me how I'm feeling...and I honestly don't feel much different than any other day. I did have some sharp pains in my left ovary yesterday... but that's par for the course with my body!

**sigh** If you think of it...please say a prayer for me. Pray that God will prepare my heart for what the days ahead may hold. That He will give us wisdom & discernment. And if you think of it, say a prayer for Clif too! I know that this has to be just as gut wrenching for him.

If this cycle doesn't work, I don't know what our game plan will be for the next month. I'm praying that it won't be the shots...because if it is... we won't be going that route until we can save up the money.




This is the prayer of my heart...



"Dear Lord, I come to You asking You to calm my heart and calm my nerves. Father I ask that if it be Your will, that this month may be "the month" for Clif and me. That you may bless us with a second (and maybe third?) bundle of joy. Lord I ask that you will give me wisdom and discernment in the upcoming days...and as we may be faced with some tough decisions....including having to stop "trying" for a while. I ask that if it comes to the shots, I just ask that You will provide the funds. Lord, you've been so good to us... and I know that You aren't stopping now! I believe with all of my heart that You have great plans for us in the future...and God, I believe that the future includes more biological children. I know that You hear my prayers, and though I may not always receive the answer that I want, I believe that you DO answer. Lord I thank You for the things that You have already done in my life, and thank You for the things You are going to do."

mid cycle nerves

I'm nervous about tomorrow.

I go to see Dr S at 8:00 in the morning. This will be the true test I guess...we'll be looking to see if we have any matured eggs.

I feel like I am constantly praying...praying that this cycle would be the one, and if not... that I would at least have matured eggs. That I would have at least ovulated this month. I've been praying, Clif's been praying, you have been praying, others have been praying, Clif and I have been praying together...let's just say that we're covered in the prayer department. :)

We are trying hard not to get our hopes up, but both of us have had a really good feeling about this cycle. We've actually had a "good" feeling since I had my surgery back in November. We're just praying...

a friend.

If you are reading this, please say a prayer for a very special friend (and former boss) of mine, A. She is currently in the hospital 4-5 cm dilated, and waiting for the Dr G to come and break her water later :) Pray for a safe delivery and that Mommy and Baby Boy will be well.

Thanks!

putting a face on loss.

Meet Rick & Darla. Missionaries to Papua New Guinea. Rick & Darla have seven children, one of which went to Heaven on Wednesday.

Darla miscarried their precious 7th child on Wednesday. She has been flown from PNG to Australia, where they will *hopefully* find help.

Rick's last post to facebook tells us that Darla is *still* not able to speak, but her motor skills are improving.

The cost they are looking at right now is right around 100 thousand dollars. And the money paid promises nothing.

Please pray for this precious family. No one knows what the days to come holds, but we DO know Who holds it.

a little more...

Okay. I have a bunch of jumbled up thoughts that are going to spew out...so, bare with me.

First and foremost, I want to ask you guys to pray for someone that Clif used to work with at the rental company.

His name is Tony. I'm not sure how old he is - if I had to guess I would say late 40s possibly early 50s. We got a phone call from Clif's old boss this morning at 6:30 - telling Clif that Tony was in the hospital. He had a stroke yesterday.

Please understand that my husband hates hospitals. He always has a really hard time visiting anyone while they are there. I am really surprised he "handled" being at the hospital with me for three days last November. The entire time we have been together, anytime someone is in the hospital - he will do anything in his power NOT to go see them.

*sigh*

As soon as Clif got off the phone he told me that he was going to visit Tony in the hospital. On top of Tony having a stroke, his mother has been in the same hospital for WEEKS. She has had like a total of 24 strokes since she went into the hospital.

Please be in prayer for these dear people. And not only for their physical well being, but their spiritual as well.

Clif came to see me at work today - and when I asked how Tony was doing, he said not very well. He doesn't seem to be paralyzed, but he can't speak. :(

Stroke victims are real close to my heart. My grandfather (that I was closest to) was confined to a hospital for a year because of a massive stroke. After the stroke, he could not move his left side - and could not speak.

*sigh* Well, I said that I had a lot to talk about. But really that's what's weighing on my heart right now. Thanks for your prayers. More to come later...