I do have dreams of the future, and anyone who knows me...or reads this blog already know what those dreams are. I even shared a few before.
My dreams for the future include babies...as many as God will bless us with. I dream of a house full of children to love, but I'll settle for one (living).
My dreams include telling Lilly's story. Starting from when we first found out that she would be coming into this world, then the day we found out she was a girl...and then the day that we saw her in person. The day that she went home to be with her Jesus.
I dream of her story touching lives...lots of them! I can only pray that while the story of Lillian Joy Smith touch the hearts of others, that their hearts may also be touched by the love of God. The people may come to know Him because of my little girl.
I have many dreams for my future, for our future...and I'm just waiting for them to come true.
Showing posts with label 30 days. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 30 days. Show all posts
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Day 29: hopes,dreams & plans for the next 365 days.
My hopes (and Clif's) for the next 365 days:
We hope that in the next 365 days, that God will have blessed us with another little one. Whether it be biological, or adopted.
We hope that we (with the help of Lilly's story) may be able to touch the lives of others. That we may bring comfort to hurting parents such as ourselves.
We hope that we continue to grow closer to one another, in the Lord, and that we grow closer to Him too!
My dreams (and Clif's) for the next 365 days:
Our dream for the next 365 days is to be parents of not only an angel in Heaven, but to parent a child here on earth as well. I (we) know that God is capable of anything and everything...and we look forward to witnessing our dreams coming true.
My plans (and Clif's) for the next 365 days:
Our plans for the next 365 days involve a lot. In the next 365 days, we plan to be out of our house and in an apartment - if that's the Lord's will for our future. We plan to save enough money for a down payment on a new house. We plan to pay off all debt that we owe, minus our cars. :) We plan to expand our family. We plan on strengthening our walks. We plan on loving one another...more than ever.
We hope that in the next 365 days, that God will have blessed us with another little one. Whether it be biological, or adopted.
We hope that we (with the help of Lilly's story) may be able to touch the lives of others. That we may bring comfort to hurting parents such as ourselves.
We hope that we continue to grow closer to one another, in the Lord, and that we grow closer to Him too!
My dreams (and Clif's) for the next 365 days:
Our dream for the next 365 days is to be parents of not only an angel in Heaven, but to parent a child here on earth as well. I (we) know that God is capable of anything and everything...and we look forward to witnessing our dreams coming true.
My plans (and Clif's) for the next 365 days:
Our plans for the next 365 days involve a lot. In the next 365 days, we plan to be out of our house and in an apartment - if that's the Lord's will for our future. We plan to save enough money for a down payment on a new house. We plan to pay off all debt that we owe, minus our cars. :) We plan to expand our family. We plan on strengthening our walks. We plan on loving one another...more than ever.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Day 28 - what's in your purse.
A bunch of junk, to put it nicely.
Please continue to pray for me :( My worry wart tendencies are really shining through.
Please continue to pray for me :( My worry wart tendencies are really shining through.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Day 27 - the worst habit since your child's death.
Hm. I'm sure there are a lot of them. I think one of my worst "habits" since Lilly died, if that's what you want to call it, is staying up late. I was a night owl before - but always made sure I was in bed before 10 on week nights.
I'd stay up all night if I could physically handle it. I hate going to sleep - I'm always afraid that I am going to dream of November 13th, or Lilly...
Another thing that has gotten really bad since Lilly was born is my worrying. I worry about EVERYTHING. And I really do mean everything. Like I said the other day, right now... I'm worried. Worried about being knocked out for surgery, about the surgery itself...that AF (oh yes that came to visit today) will be GONE on Tuesday so that Dr S can check my tubes after the surgery. About the cost of it all, about insurance covering my visit with Dr S on Monday, and the following Monday. About the house...and it not getting sold. About money in general. About everything. I hate worrying, but sometimes...I just can't help it.
I'd stay up all night if I could physically handle it. I hate going to sleep - I'm always afraid that I am going to dream of November 13th, or Lilly...
Another thing that has gotten really bad since Lilly was born is my worrying. I worry about EVERYTHING. And I really do mean everything. Like I said the other day, right now... I'm worried. Worried about being knocked out for surgery, about the surgery itself...that AF (oh yes that came to visit today) will be GONE on Tuesday so that Dr S can check my tubes after the surgery. About the cost of it all, about insurance covering my visit with Dr S on Monday, and the following Monday. About the house...and it not getting sold. About money in general. About everything. I hate worrying, but sometimes...I just can't help it.
Day 26 - your week in great detail.
Hmmm. I think that I'll just make this post about the Walk to Remember that we participated in on this past Saturday.
First of all, I want to say a big thank you too all of my family & friends that came out to walk with us. You all will never know how much it meant to Clif and me to have you there with us. You guys ROCK!
Clif and I had to drive separately, because he had try outs for a new position at his work (last minute). I had a friend "K" ride with me, and then we met my parents, niece, nephew, Clif's mom, step dad, cousin, other cousin, aunt, an old friend "C" from church and her friend, and my friend "A" and goddaughter "T". Whew. :) Hope I didn't forget anyone.
We were actually the first ones there... I was surprised. Unfortunately, miscarriage, stillbirth & infant loss isn't as "popular" as other causes. There were only 35-40 registered to walk. But it was a blessing none the less.
There was a car that pulled up, and out came two ladies that I already knew. The first, "S", that I met with for my interview at the perinatal council downtown. She was actually heading up the walk with a nurse, "H" from the hospital that Lilly was born in. "H" was not one of my nurses during my stay, but she heard our story and came to meet us.
I remember her coming to my room that Friday morning and telling me how very sorry she was to hear about our loss. She hugged me, a complete stranger. She cried with me. She came back to check on me numerous times during our stay there.
Once they moved me from the labor & delivery floor, she even came to my room to check on me again. I had a bad reaction to either the spinal block or the tape that they used and I had a line of blisters that went across my back. She flipped out when she saw them - even though I had complained to my nurses before. She called Dr G and told him that he needed to do something about it.
Needless to say, this woman had a huge impact on my stay there. What an amazing, sweet lady. :) It was so good to see her again. I didn't think that she'd remember me...but at one point in the walk, she came and smiled (almost crying) and hugged me...for a long time. She told me that she was so glad to see me doing so well. :) And then hugged Clif as well. I was so surprised, with me not even being her patient, that she remembered me.
The walk started off with "S" & "H" telling a little bit about S.H.A.R.E. Then they had a chaplain come and tell her story, and have prayer with us. Her story was heartbreaking. She herself did not suffer a loss, but it was her mother, 40 years ago. She told of how her little brother was born still at full term, and how heartbreaking it was for her family. She was only 7.
After the prayer they opened up the floor, so to speak, for anyone in the group to talk about their loss. I couldn't speak...tears just streamed down my face as different men & women told their story. There was a young couple whose son was stillborn earlier this year, a couple whose daughter passed away at three months, one that passed away at eight months...and then they had suffered a miscarriage a month ago. I wanted to tell Lilly's story...but just...couldn't.
I heard my mom speak up (through tears of her own) behind me. She said that she was there, walking in honor of the baby she lost 30 years ago, and her granddaughter that passed away almost a year ago. Then my dad spoke of Lilly too...and of their baby.
We walked (only a mile) and then went to the Perinatal Council to "fellowship" < if that's what you want to call it.
There I was able to talk with other mothers who have suffered loss...well, really I just mostly listened. An RN from the hospital asked me about the shirt I was wearing.
I had made shirts for everyone to wear during the walk, but afterwards, I changed into the shirt that I ordered from Faces Of Loss. That's the shirt that the RN asked me about. I told her about the website that Kristin Cook launched, and how it had touched so many lives. That it started out as a blog where mothers could share their stories of loss, but quickly became a non profit. I also told them how there is now a place for stories of hope. Also, that there is a discussion board, ect. :) They were very excited to hear about the site (and one of the other mothers had heard about it somewhere on the news?) and said that they will add it to the list of their support resources.
The rest of the day went pretty well. Most of us went to McDonald's afterwards (I know, real healthy) to get a quick lunch. We all walked in with our shirts on (me with my 'Faces' shirt) and when I walked up to order our food, some chick said "did some boy die?" REALLY? I was very impressed with myself, because I did not lash out at her ignorance. I wanted to be like, NUMBER ONE, I have never heard of a BOY being named "Lillian". SECOND, it was a little girl that DIED. MY little girl. But all I said was, no, it was actually my daughter that passed away. She was like, "Oh...sorry" and walked off. It took all the strength that I could muster NOT to scream, or cry, or something. And not because it made me sad to talk about Lilly, but because people are so...oblivious, cold...and mean.
Anyways...this is a day late, and doesn't really go into detail about my week...but I wanted to share. :)
First of all, I want to say a big thank you too all of my family & friends that came out to walk with us. You all will never know how much it meant to Clif and me to have you there with us. You guys ROCK!
Clif and I had to drive separately, because he had try outs for a new position at his work (last minute). I had a friend "K" ride with me, and then we met my parents, niece, nephew, Clif's mom, step dad, cousin, other cousin, aunt, an old friend "C" from church and her friend, and my friend "A" and goddaughter "T". Whew. :) Hope I didn't forget anyone.
We were actually the first ones there... I was surprised. Unfortunately, miscarriage, stillbirth & infant loss isn't as "popular" as other causes. There were only 35-40 registered to walk. But it was a blessing none the less.
There was a car that pulled up, and out came two ladies that I already knew. The first, "S", that I met with for my interview at the perinatal council downtown. She was actually heading up the walk with a nurse, "H" from the hospital that Lilly was born in. "H" was not one of my nurses during my stay, but she heard our story and came to meet us.
I remember her coming to my room that Friday morning and telling me how very sorry she was to hear about our loss. She hugged me, a complete stranger. She cried with me. She came back to check on me numerous times during our stay there.
Once they moved me from the labor & delivery floor, she even came to my room to check on me again. I had a bad reaction to either the spinal block or the tape that they used and I had a line of blisters that went across my back. She flipped out when she saw them - even though I had complained to my nurses before. She called Dr G and told him that he needed to do something about it.
Needless to say, this woman had a huge impact on my stay there. What an amazing, sweet lady. :) It was so good to see her again. I didn't think that she'd remember me...but at one point in the walk, she came and smiled (almost crying) and hugged me...for a long time. She told me that she was so glad to see me doing so well. :) And then hugged Clif as well. I was so surprised, with me not even being her patient, that she remembered me.
The walk started off with "S" & "H" telling a little bit about S.H.A.R.E. Then they had a chaplain come and tell her story, and have prayer with us. Her story was heartbreaking. She herself did not suffer a loss, but it was her mother, 40 years ago. She told of how her little brother was born still at full term, and how heartbreaking it was for her family. She was only 7.
After the prayer they opened up the floor, so to speak, for anyone in the group to talk about their loss. I couldn't speak...tears just streamed down my face as different men & women told their story. There was a young couple whose son was stillborn earlier this year, a couple whose daughter passed away at three months, one that passed away at eight months...and then they had suffered a miscarriage a month ago. I wanted to tell Lilly's story...but just...couldn't.
I heard my mom speak up (through tears of her own) behind me. She said that she was there, walking in honor of the baby she lost 30 years ago, and her granddaughter that passed away almost a year ago. Then my dad spoke of Lilly too...and of their baby.
We walked (only a mile) and then went to the Perinatal Council to "fellowship" < if that's what you want to call it.
There I was able to talk with other mothers who have suffered loss...well, really I just mostly listened. An RN from the hospital asked me about the shirt I was wearing.
I had made shirts for everyone to wear during the walk, but afterwards, I changed into the shirt that I ordered from Faces Of Loss. That's the shirt that the RN asked me about. I told her about the website that Kristin Cook launched, and how it had touched so many lives. That it started out as a blog where mothers could share their stories of loss, but quickly became a non profit. I also told them how there is now a place for stories of hope. Also, that there is a discussion board, ect. :) They were very excited to hear about the site (and one of the other mothers had heard about it somewhere on the news?) and said that they will add it to the list of their support resources.
The rest of the day went pretty well. Most of us went to McDonald's afterwards (I know, real healthy) to get a quick lunch. We all walked in with our shirts on (me with my 'Faces' shirt) and when I walked up to order our food, some chick said "did some boy die?" REALLY? I was very impressed with myself, because I did not lash out at her ignorance. I wanted to be like, NUMBER ONE, I have never heard of a BOY being named "Lillian". SECOND, it was a little girl that DIED. MY little girl. But all I said was, no, it was actually my daughter that passed away. She was like, "Oh...sorry" and walked off. It took all the strength that I could muster NOT to scream, or cry, or something. And not because it made me sad to talk about Lilly, but because people are so...oblivious, cold...and mean.
Anyways...this is a day late, and doesn't really go into detail about my week...but I wanted to share. :)
Monday, October 25, 2010
Day 25 - your day in great detail.
Day 25 is your day in great detail.
Well...today has been kind of a slow moving day.
I woke up early and got ready for work. I was terrified to leave the house, because Clif got chased my a skunk in our driveway the other morning. It was just a few feet away from my car!!! But I sucked it up and got out there. No skunk....thank You, Jesus! :) It would stink (ha!) if I got sprayed by a skunk and had to call into work.
Work was it's normal self - except that I had to get all my monthly reports together early. I normally don't start working on them until the last day of the month, or the first day of the next. But since I'm going to be out of work so much...I had to get a head start for my new boss. :)
I work this coming up Saturday, and then I don't come back to the 9th (as long as the doctor releases me!). Then we are closed on the 11th, and I am on vacation until the 17th. Fun stuff. I'm sure everything will be piled up for me when I get back :)
It stinks though. I come back to work on the 9th... Lilly's due date. Then I come back on the 17th, the day of her funeral. What was I thinking?? Geez.
After work comes dinner with gals from work. My former supervisor "A" is having a baby! She is due on the 4th, but I look for her to go any day now. Anyways... a bunch of us from work wanted to get together with her tonight for dinner :) Carrabba's. Yum!
Then it's home to the hubby. Probably some TV then sleep.
I will say that I've been freaking out a little the last few days. As my surgery date quickly approaches, I am getting nervous. Really nervous.
There are two things that I'm freaked about.
First, even with my c-section, I was never "put under". The whole idea of it really scares me. :( I keep hearing stories...maybe it's best that I don't ask people. I don't know. Anyways, my mom says that it's not bad... except for when you are asleep, and you know you need to wake up. People calling for you, and not being able to open your eyes.
I asked someone that had a similar procedure done if they put her under...she said they did. And they probably will put me under, or possibly do a "Twilight". I told her the only Twilight I know, is the vampires. But then I googled it (I have done really good about not googling things lately). Here's the definition:
Twilight anesthesia is a type of anesthetic technique where a mild dose of general anesthesia is applied that affects the brain as well as the entire body. The patient is not unconscious, but sedated. During surgery or other medical procedures, the patient is under what is known as a "twilight state", where the patient is relaxed and "sleepy", able to follow simple directions by the doctor, and is responsive. Generally, twilight anesthesia causes the patient to forget the surgery and the time right after. It is used for a variety of surgical procedures and for various reasons. Just like regular anesthesia, "twilight anesthesia is designed to help a patient feel more comfortable and to minimize pain associated with the procedure being performed."
I think I am going to ask them if this is an option. I really really really don't want to be put to sleep :(
The other thing I am freaked about is insurance. I know that they approved my surgery. And they had previously approved five visits to see Dr S. I remember when they sent me the approval for the visits, there was something about October 31st. Now I am freaking (slightly) that when I show up for my pre op on Monday that the insurance won't cover it. But then I think logically, and I don't see why they wouldn't pay for it. I mean, they approved my surgery. And I am going to need pre op and post op appointments with my doctor. Duh.
If you have a second, please just say a prayer for me. Pray that God will calm my heart, and give the doctors wisdom during my surgery. Also, that the insurance may surprise me and be AWESOME. :)
Well...today has been kind of a slow moving day.
I woke up early and got ready for work. I was terrified to leave the house, because Clif got chased my a skunk in our driveway the other morning. It was just a few feet away from my car!!! But I sucked it up and got out there. No skunk....thank You, Jesus! :) It would stink (ha!) if I got sprayed by a skunk and had to call into work.
Work was it's normal self - except that I had to get all my monthly reports together early. I normally don't start working on them until the last day of the month, or the first day of the next. But since I'm going to be out of work so much...I had to get a head start for my new boss. :)
I work this coming up Saturday, and then I don't come back to the 9th (as long as the doctor releases me!). Then we are closed on the 11th, and I am on vacation until the 17th. Fun stuff. I'm sure everything will be piled up for me when I get back :)
It stinks though. I come back to work on the 9th... Lilly's due date. Then I come back on the 17th, the day of her funeral. What was I thinking?? Geez.
After work comes dinner with gals from work. My former supervisor "A" is having a baby! She is due on the 4th, but I look for her to go any day now. Anyways... a bunch of us from work wanted to get together with her tonight for dinner :) Carrabba's. Yum!
Then it's home to the hubby. Probably some TV then sleep.
I will say that I've been freaking out a little the last few days. As my surgery date quickly approaches, I am getting nervous. Really nervous.
There are two things that I'm freaked about.
First, even with my c-section, I was never "put under". The whole idea of it really scares me. :( I keep hearing stories...maybe it's best that I don't ask people. I don't know. Anyways, my mom says that it's not bad... except for when you are asleep, and you know you need to wake up. People calling for you, and not being able to open your eyes.
I asked someone that had a similar procedure done if they put her under...she said they did. And they probably will put me under, or possibly do a "Twilight". I told her the only Twilight I know, is the vampires. But then I googled it (I have done really good about not googling things lately). Here's the definition:
Twilight anesthesia is a type of anesthetic technique where a mild dose of general anesthesia is applied that affects the brain as well as the entire body. The patient is not unconscious, but sedated. During surgery or other medical procedures, the patient is under what is known as a "twilight state", where the patient is relaxed and "sleepy", able to follow simple directions by the doctor, and is responsive. Generally, twilight anesthesia causes the patient to forget the surgery and the time right after. It is used for a variety of surgical procedures and for various reasons. Just like regular anesthesia, "twilight anesthesia is designed to help a patient feel more comfortable and to minimize pain associated with the procedure being performed."
I think I am going to ask them if this is an option. I really really really don't want to be put to sleep :(
The other thing I am freaked about is insurance. I know that they approved my surgery. And they had previously approved five visits to see Dr S. I remember when they sent me the approval for the visits, there was something about October 31st. Now I am freaking (slightly) that when I show up for my pre op on Monday that the insurance won't cover it. But then I think logically, and I don't see why they wouldn't pay for it. I mean, they approved my surgery. And I am going to need pre op and post op appointments with my doctor. Duh.
If you have a second, please just say a prayer for me. Pray that God will calm my heart, and give the doctors wisdom during my surgery. Also, that the insurance may surprise me and be AWESOME. :)
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Day 23: a youtube video that makes you laugh.
Seriously about peed my pants the first time I watched this. It had extra meaning to me since I worked in a day care for two years. My class consisted of 8 two year olds...and I had three biters. :)
Friday, October 22, 2010
Day 22: a web site that has been meaningful since your loss.
Okay, you guys know what web site is coming...I've shared it before, and I'll share it again.
Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope
This web site is awesome. :) There you will find a wonderful group of ladies. A ton of support, and most of all understanding.
If you have ever lost a child, this is the place for you!
Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope
This web site is awesome. :) There you will find a wonderful group of ladies. A ton of support, and most of all understanding.
If you have ever lost a child, this is the place for you!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Day 21: a recipe.
Preacher Cookies
Ingredients:
- 2 cups sugar
- 4 tablespoons cocoa
- 1 stick butter
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1 cup peanut butter
- 1 tablespoon vanilla
- 3 cups oatmeal
- Waxed paper
Directions:
In a heavy saucepan bring to a boil, the sugar, cocoa, butter and milk. Let boil for 2 1/2 minute then add peanut butter, vanilla and oatmeal. On a sheet of waxed paper, drop mixture by the teaspoonfuls, until cooled and hardened.
SO YUMMY!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Day 20: a hobby of yours, and how it has changed since your loss.
Day 20 is a hobby of yours, and how it has changed since your loss.
Hm.
Scrapbooking. I used to scrapbook like crazy. I loved it. I'd come up with all kinds of crazy creative things to do with them.
NOW...I struggle even to finish Lilly's scrapbook.
Scrapbooks are supposed to be filled with happiness. And though seeing my beautiful baby girl makes me happy (in a way), it breaks my heart every time.
Hm.
Scrapbooking. I used to scrapbook like crazy. I loved it. I'd come up with all kinds of crazy creative things to do with them.
NOW...I struggle even to finish Lilly's scrapbook.
Scrapbooks are supposed to be filled with happiness. And though seeing my beautiful baby girl makes me happy (in a way), it breaks my heart every time.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Day 19: a talent of yours.
Day 19 is a talent of yours.
Mine?
When I was five years old, my parents had me start taking piano lessons. They lasted for a few months short of twelve years.
I haven't *really* played in about 4-5 years, but when I think about it - I really miss it.
I love music, and though at first I didn't want to take lessons, I'm glad I did. I love the piano, and I love playing it. It's relaxing...
Maybe I'll pick it back up...?
Monday, October 18, 2010
Day 18: my wedding.
Day 18 my wedding, in pictures. Enjoy!
*My mom gave me a scrapbook of my life just before the wedding began*
*Mother in law & Mother...doesn't even look like my mom. She's lost 50+ pounds since Clif and I got married*
*Clif & his cousin, Daniel, the best man*
*Me & all of my attendants*
*Me & Aleisha, my maid of honour and my best friend*
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*The bride*
*Aleisha,myself, Clif and Daniel*
*Exhausted after a long ceremony and hundreds of pictures*
*Me, my adorable Uncle Rufus & hubby*
*We had cousins come in from Texas for the wedding. From left to right, Cameron (brother in law), Jaquelyn & Debra, myself, Clif, mother in law Shelia, and Daniel*
*Did I ever mention we had four pastors involved in our wedding? From left to right, James, my dad, Foster, and Ted*
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*The whole wedding party... minus the ring bearer*
*Reception*
*The cake - my mom called the day before the wedding and the lady had forgotten about the cake!*
*Aleisha & Me...eating chocolate cups, gift from Mrs.Black*
*Me & Daniel...I love him, but never would tell him! ha!*
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Day 15: what you like about your house.
Day 15 is what I like about my house.
Right now, I like that it's mine. :) Even though it can be stressful at times, I like being a home owner. I haven't mentioned this...mainly because I didn't want to get my hopes up.
But, after like three months of no one calling about the house...or coming to look at it, a couple came to look at it on Saturday. They really liked it. They are pre approved for a loan, and are looking to buy soon. It's bitter sweet.
Our realtor said that they will more than likely be putting a contract on it. *sigh* I want to sell and get away from the area. I think it'll be good to have a fresh start, but there will be a lot of pain before the fresh start begins.
Please pray with us that if it be God's will, that we will sell our house soon. And that He may lead us to where He wants us to be in the future.
Thanks!
Right now, I like that it's mine. :) Even though it can be stressful at times, I like being a home owner. I haven't mentioned this...mainly because I didn't want to get my hopes up.
But, after like three months of no one calling about the house...or coming to look at it, a couple came to look at it on Saturday. They really liked it. They are pre approved for a loan, and are looking to buy soon. It's bitter sweet.
Our realtor said that they will more than likely be putting a contract on it. *sigh* I want to sell and get away from the area. I think it'll be good to have a fresh start, but there will be a lot of pain before the fresh start begins.
Please pray with us that if it be God's will, that we will sell our house soon. And that He may lead us to where He wants us to be in the future.
Thanks!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Day 14: a non-fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.
Day 14 is a non fictional book that has been meaningful to me since my loss.
"I Will Carry You" - by Angie Smith... hands down.
Even though Lilly we were never given a fatal diagnosis with Lilly (Like Angie was with her daughter, Audrey)...this book was more than comforting to me.
If you haven't read it, I highly suggest that you do. You will smile, you might even laugh... and I guarantee that you will cry. But it is an amazing book.
Angie's emotions and feelings jump off the pages at you as you read about her early married years, miscarriages, and then finally the loss of their precious Audrey.
You can also find Angie's blog by clicking ::here::
Below are the lyrics to the song made popular by Selah. Angie's husband sings with the group.
"I Will Carry You" - by Angie Smith... hands down.
Even though Lilly we were never given a fatal diagnosis with Lilly (Like Angie was with her daughter, Audrey)...this book was more than comforting to me.
If you haven't read it, I highly suggest that you do. You will smile, you might even laugh... and I guarantee that you will cry. But it is an amazing book.
Angie's emotions and feelings jump off the pages at you as you read about her early married years, miscarriages, and then finally the loss of their precious Audrey.
You can also find Angie's blog by clicking ::here::
Below are the lyrics to the song made popular by Selah. Angie's husband sings with the group.
I Will Carry You (Audrey's Song)
~Selah~
There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this
So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One who's chosen me
To carry you
Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says
I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?
I will carry you
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One who's chosen Me
To carry you
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Day 12: something i am ocd about.
Day 12 is something I am OCD about.
I'd have to say money. Like actual paper money.
As I've said before... I'm work in a bank.
I hate hate hate for the money in my drawer to be turned different ways. It drives me bonkers. I've gotten better though... when I first started (almost three years ago...wow) I would turn all the bills the same way, and then sort them by color. You know how like the old five dollar bills are white, but the new ones have big purple 5's on them? Yeah. It was bad.
I'd have to say money. Like actual paper money.
As I've said before... I'm work in a bank.
I hate hate hate for the money in my drawer to be turned different ways. It drives me bonkers. I've gotten better though... when I first started (almost three years ago...wow) I would turn all the bills the same way, and then sort them by color. You know how like the old five dollar bills are white, but the new ones have big purple 5's on them? Yeah. It was bad.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Day 11: a photo taken recently.
Day 11 - a photo of you recently and how it makes you feel seeing it now.
Just like her.
I don't think I need to explain how this picture makes me feel...
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago.
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you and how it makes you feel seeing it now.
These pictures make me smile. :) But they also make me sad in a way. The first picture... I promise, if you had seen Lilly in person - she looked indentical to me when I was a baby. Weird.
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