Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Day 27 - the worst habit since your child's death.

Hm. I'm sure there are a lot of them. I think one of my worst "habits" since Lilly died, if that's what you want to call it, is staying up late. I was a night owl before - but always made sure I was in bed before 10 on week nights.

I'd stay up all night if I could physically handle it. I hate going to sleep - I'm always afraid that I am going to dream of November 13th, or Lilly...

Another thing that has gotten really bad since Lilly was born is my worrying. I worry about EVERYTHING. And I really do mean everything. Like I said the other day, right now... I'm worried. Worried about being knocked out for surgery, about the surgery itself...that AF (oh yes that came to visit today) will be GONE on Tuesday so that Dr S can check my tubes after the surgery. About the cost of it all, about insurance covering my visit with Dr S on Monday, and the following Monday. About the house...and it not getting sold. About money in general. About everything. I hate worrying, but sometimes...I just can't help it.


Trennia said...


Jessica said...

Praying you will be granted some peace (((hugs)))

Courtney said...

I have to say I have the same issues. They started after losing the twins. Like Jessica said I too hope you are granted some peace in your life my friend.


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