Friday, March 23, 2012

i miss my friend(s)

I miss my friends. Ha! Isn’t that an old country song? Hm. No…seriously I really really miss my friends. I realized while getting ready for work this morning that I feel so incredibly disconnected from my friends. And at first thought, I was like…”I don’t know how it got like this”. But then again… I guess it all started when I found out that I was pregnant with triplets. Anyone that knows me at all knows that I was pins and needles, especially for the first 12 weeks or so. I watched every single thing that I ate, I didn’t drink caffeine, I didn’t eat an abundance of sodium. I didn’t lift anything over 10 pounds. I made sure that my seatbelt wasn’t too tight…that I didn’t go over bumps to quickly…that I didn’t sleep on my belly. Sheesh! I get all nervous just talking about how careful I was. I remember being terrified to even RIDE in a car, let alone drive. Especially after we hit a deer (going 60+ MPH) when I was just 5 weeks pregnant! I was afraid to do anything, or go anywhere. And then by the time I was past that stage, I was too fat & tired to do anything. An hour of being on my feet and I was completely exhausted. That lasted right up to the time that Dr.G took me out of work. And that’s when my seven weeks of bed rest began. Ugh! And then I really couldn’t do anything. For the four-five weeks that the babies were in the NICU, we were able to get together with a few people for dinner, ect… but it was always rushed because we were always in a hurry to get back to the hospital to see the babies. Not only do I feel disconnected from my friends…but my family…oh and don’t even get me started on my church family. The last time we were in our church as a family was the day before Thanksgiving. >.< Since then, we have switched off Sundays…and it’s either me, or Clif that goes. Thank God for RSV season coming to a close! I am SO ready to get back into the full swing of my life. Please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I love my life, and I would not trade it for the world. Seriously. I love my babies, and I love being a Mom. And I also understand that all of these feelings I am having are all part of parenthood…with a little added because of the babies being nine weeks early. Honestly, if I think about it… I get really depressed. But in the same breath, I get it. Ya know? I don’t even know if I’m making sense. J I feel like everyone thinks I have cut myself off from them…and I hate that they might think that, or feel like that. I promise it hasn’t been intentional. *sigh* I really hate this. Now with me being back at work, there is even more to juggle. And since everyone KNOWS that I’m trying to juggle, I feel as if everyone has just taken another step back from me…in a good way, to give me my space. BUT… I don’t want my space. I still want to talk to friends, get together with friends…it’s just a little more hectic than it used to be. I guess I should apologize to you all. I know you all know who you are. I promise I have not TRIED to distance myself. Life has been crazy, some days I am so completely overwhelmed that I can’t breathe. I still care… I’m just learning how to do all this. Please don’t give up on me.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Green means GO!

And they're off...!!!

My {not so little} babies are growing...way too fast for my liking,. They are all on the verge of crawling... all three can get into the crawling position and rock back and forth. Eli has actually crawled a few inches. All three can sit up for a good while...and....
                                                    Eli got himself from the laying down position to the sitting up position...
all by himself.

Boo. :) I am thrilled that our children are developing {almost} right on "schedule" compared to what a full term baby would. But I am definitely not liking the fact that they aren't tiny little five pounds babies that need me to do EVERY LITTLE THING for them anymore. I don't think I'm ready for this. Ha!

I finished up my second week of work as of yesterday. :) The second week was most definitely better than the first. I managed to keep the tears at bay, for the most part. I also felt a little more confident doing what I do, so that helped too!

Being back at work doesn't change still proves to be insanely busy, all the time. Monday started with running late leaving work, going to the funeral home for visitation of a sweet little lady that passed away.
The rush rush rush to grab dinner and zoom home in time to help Clif finish feeding the babies dinner. Whew.

And that's pretty much how every single day went this week, minus the funeral home thing.

I did manage to try a new, REALLY GOOD crock pot recipe. Compliments of, aka: my new obsession.

Here it is: Shredded Chicken Tacos. Boneless chicken breast, jar of salsa...package of chicken taco mix. DONE. Throw it in the crock pot, high for four hours. YUM-O! Oh my goodness. We put it on warm tortillas with cheese (fat free!) and low fat sour cream. Accompanied by my Chipotle Copy Cat Guacamole & baked tortilla chips. Cheap, easy and sooooooo good :) Perfect for the working Mommy.

Ugh, I forgot to mention that we had our first accident involving a baby this week. Monday...midst the craziness of every day life, Eli...fell off our kitchen table. Yes yes, we're horrible parents. lol At least that's how Clif felt. He was the one home with them when it happened. He was strapped into a bouncer chair type thing, and...BOOM...leaned forward...and fell off. Thank GOD there was a chair that caught him. He had an instant goose egg, but was fine...and yes, we called the doctor. Three times I think. :)

Today is St.Pattys day. Daddy is still in bed, babies are in the floor fighting sleep. After lunch time bottles, we are headed out for the day. Lunch for Mommy & Daddy, and then shopping for the whole family. :) I am loving this warm weather, and that RSV season is coming to a close.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Rest in Peace.

Just got word that one of our precious church members made her way to Heaven, sometime around one o'clock this morning. <3
We'll miss you, Mrs.Conner. We love you.

I {think I} will survive. far, I have. :) Survived my first week back to work, that is.

It was long...and emotional...and just down right HARD to be away from my babies. BUT... the Lord is good, and has provided wonderful people to talk care of the kids. My mom, and of course... Clif! I am SO proud of how Clif stepped up this week and helped out SOOOO much. Until Wednesday he had never had an entire day where he was responsible for EVERYTHING that had to do with the babies! BUT...he did it, AND had dinner started. :) Love my husband.

Please continue to pray that God would open a door for Clif, job wise. He's been hitting the pavement ALL week long, and had a few leads... but nothing huge. We are continuing to trust that there is something SO much better out there!

Well, I'm off of here to go spend some time with my Love's. :) I think my first week of work calls for lunch & shopping (grocery that is) Ha!

Be blessed.

Saturday, March 3, 2012


:) I'm excited. About several things.

First, I'm really excited about our family date today! With RSV season coming to a close, we are celebrating by having a little outing... just the five of us! I was able to find a lady on FB with a double stroller for sale, and my Dad and I met her last night to pick it up! Now we can take the kids out, Boys in the double...Elliana in her single, and not have to stop every five steps because we have a massive triple stroller. If you have multiples, you know what I mean. I love that people want to look at my kids, but I can't get anything accomplished when I have to stop for every single person to look and ask, "oh, triplets?"

Second... I have been attending weight watchers since mid September. I'm hit or miss to the meetings because of babies, and soon to be work....but...I stick to the ww plan regardless. It's been a long road... but the end is in sight!! I'm sooooooo excited. As of this morning, I have lost 44 pounds with weight watchers, and a total of 80 pounds since having the babies! I actually feel good on the INSIDE for once, and it's a GREAT feeling. I have given up sodas, #1 because they are horrible, #2 because I think it will help with my weight loss. :) I ordered Clif and I some new jeans (did I mention that Clif has been on Weight Watchers since the week before Christmas, and has lost like 25 pounds? AND almost two pant sizes?) from American Eagle last weekend, because they were having a great sale! I ordered both of our jeans a size smaller than we normally wear...I told him they were our "dream jeans". They arrived...and we BOTH are wearing our new jeans out today!!

Third...I'm to the point where I am ready to work out. Like, I WANT to work out. I am comfortable with my weight (though, I still have 16 pounds to go before I meet my goal)...and I really want to tone everything up! Sooooo I am working on that now. :) This might be TMI, but since I'm going back to work on Monday, I'm going to search out a tanning salon and try to tan (just a few sessions) on my lunch break, in hopes that it will help hide some little stretch marks brought on by two pregnancies. HA! I am HOPING that this will do the trick on my inner thighs... I know, TMI and gross... but oh well. If it doesn't do the trick, I am going to be talking to a dermatologist (I think they are the ones that do it) about laser removal. I know, that sounds crazy. But...I am serious. ANNNNNND...IF I can get the results that I want from either one of those options (plus tone tone tone up!)... I am THINKING about getting a VERY meaningful tat. I have it all in my head and I am at the about to bust, squeal, and jump up and down point. :) I grew up around this guy that works in a shop a few hours away from where we live. He has done two tats for Clif, one on his back in memory of Lillian Joy, and then a cover up. He does AWESOME work. Soooo...I am thinking about calling him in about a month or so and getting him to go ahead and draw it up for me. I have always always always wanted Andy to tattoo me... and with every single one I have gotten, I still haven't managed to get him! :) I wanted him to do my Lily tat, but he was booked solid (which he normally is), so his friend did it for me. This time, I'm not letting anyone do it but Andy. And I am SOO excited. Even though I haven't totally decided to get it done.

WHOA...too much caffeine in my tea?? I am all hyped up. Better jump off of here and put this energy to use! A family day date involves a very detailed check list. And yes, you can laugh at me for that. :)

Friday, March 2, 2012

hit me baby one more time.

Sometimes it hits me.

Like a ton {or two} of bricks.

I absolutely...with all of my heart, until the end of my children.

Yes...I complain sometimes. And I always feel guilty for doing so...I feel as if I shouldn't complain when I've been so blessed. Blessed with what I begged God for, for what seems like forever.

But then there are nights like tonight. Nights when someone {Eli} cries out in their sleep, and I get to hold and cuddle him for a few minutes. Just the two of us. I love it. Holding him tonight...him looking so innocent. :) Kissing his cheek and watching him grin his toothy little grin. Ah, melt my heart!

I had a moment like that with my Easton last night... while I was giving him a bath, of all things! As I was washing his hair (which is coming in pretty think nowadays!), and it just hit beautiful he is...and how blessed Clif and I are.

Oh how I love these precious little babies of mine. I literally cannot imagine life without them. I don't think there are enough words to describe how they fill each and ever second of every day with joy!

Yes, I have my rough days when I feel as if I may pull out every single strand of hair on my head. :) I don't think I would be a true mom if I didn't have those kind of days. But for the most part... I enjoy my days with the babies. Especially now that their little personalities are in full swing!

Only a few days left... and I return to work. And to be honest, I'm trying not to think about it. I keep telling myself (and everyone else) that I will be okay. It won't be that bad...Clif is going to be mom will be here. I knew it was coming. Me returning to work has been inevitable from the very beginning of my pregnancy. I'm pretty sure I can talk it up until I am blue in the face...but Monday is probably going to be on up there on the list of hardest days of my life.

Ugh! Leaving my babies. Not being the one to take care of every little thing? Oh goodness I'm going to have a panic attack before I can finish this post! I guess...if I can get through my meeting with Human Resources Monday morning without breaking down in tears, I'll be doing good. HA!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

two things:

One : praying praying praying my heart out for a dear blogger friend, Lori. <3

Two : TODAY IS OUR LAST SYNAGIS SHOT!!! WOOOOO HOOOO for the nearing end of RSV season. :) Which means we can FINALLY get the kiddos out of the house without being absolutely terrified!
Of course...getting out of the house DOES entail actually going out with three infants, so it will probably not be that often...but, I'm just excited about the THOUGHT of being able to go out...with my whole family. I hate separate trips out (for Clif & me).

Ahhhhhhhh...never been SO excited for Spring!

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