Friday, March 2, 2012

hit me baby one more time.

Sometimes it hits me.

Like a ton {or two} of bricks.

I absolutely...with all of my heart, until the end of my children.

Yes...I complain sometimes. And I always feel guilty for doing so...I feel as if I shouldn't complain when I've been so blessed. Blessed with what I begged God for, for what seems like forever.

But then there are nights like tonight. Nights when someone {Eli} cries out in their sleep, and I get to hold and cuddle him for a few minutes. Just the two of us. I love it. Holding him tonight...him looking so innocent. :) Kissing his cheek and watching him grin his toothy little grin. Ah, melt my heart!

I had a moment like that with my Easton last night... while I was giving him a bath, of all things! As I was washing his hair (which is coming in pretty think nowadays!), and it just hit beautiful he is...and how blessed Clif and I are.

Oh how I love these precious little babies of mine. I literally cannot imagine life without them. I don't think there are enough words to describe how they fill each and ever second of every day with joy!

Yes, I have my rough days when I feel as if I may pull out every single strand of hair on my head. :) I don't think I would be a true mom if I didn't have those kind of days. But for the most part... I enjoy my days with the babies. Especially now that their little personalities are in full swing!

Only a few days left... and I return to work. And to be honest, I'm trying not to think about it. I keep telling myself (and everyone else) that I will be okay. It won't be that bad...Clif is going to be mom will be here. I knew it was coming. Me returning to work has been inevitable from the very beginning of my pregnancy. I'm pretty sure I can talk it up until I am blue in the face...but Monday is probably going to be on up there on the list of hardest days of my life.

Ugh! Leaving my babies. Not being the one to take care of every little thing? Oh goodness I'm going to have a panic attack before I can finish this post! I guess...if I can get through my meeting with Human Resources Monday morning without breaking down in tears, I'll be doing good. HA!


*Katy* said...

I went back to work when George was 7 weeks old and made it all of 20 minutes at work before I had to go to the bathroom and cry my eyes out! I must have gone to the bathroom 10 times that first day to cry. And while I've been working since then, and I'll be honest, it does NOT get easier (I don't care what anyone says!) I CAN make it through the day without crying now :) Good luck on Monday! I'll say an extra prayer for you!

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