Today marks two years since the day that we saw our little Lilly Bean for the first time, at least in my belly. J April 15th, tax day… a day that MOST people dread. But it’s a day that holds a special place in my heart.
I have to admit that even though I was thrilled to find out that two of our babies are boys, Eli & Easton, it was bitter sweet on Wednesday. Getting an ultrasound… finding out the sexes of two out of three of our babies… and knowing that two years ago we were experiencing the first little bit of excitement over our first born. I was just unexpectedly… hard.
I keep wondering about the three babies that are growing inside of me now. Will they look like Lilly? How will I handle everything?
Honestly? I think I’m going to be fine. I know some mothers stress about PPD… but I don’t. I’m the type of person who might get stressed out… I might even let me stress show sometimes. But for the most part I suck it up and deal with what’s going on – and get things done. And I really honestly think that’s how I am going to be when the triplets arrive.
Don’t get me wrong. I think that it will be hard, and emotional – for both me AND Clif. But I know that our God will never give us more than He can give the strength to handle. J And He hasn’t given us anything that we weren’t able to make it through thus far – I don’t see it happening in the near future.
I keep thinking about how much I miss her. And how much that I wish she were here to experience this new chapter with us. BUT…as I’ve told myself a million times I can’t allow myself to live in the land of what if’s.