July 15th, 2011...the story of three.

So, I've been meaning to write about the day that our precious peas were born... but, as I am sure that you can imagine... I haven't exactly had much time. :) But, today... I figured that I would give it a shot!
Everything really started on the Monday before they were born. Well, Sunday night. The whole night, I felt as if Eli was going to kick...well, OUT. Seriously felt like the kid was going to poke a hand or leg through the exit at any given time. I had an appointment with Dr.G that morning (Monday). When I explained my discomfort, saying that there was a lot of pressure - and that I felt like a baby was going to come out, the doctor decided to do an exam...just to make sure nothing was happening. We were told that my cervix had softened.
On Tuesday night, I was still experiencing a lot of pressure "down there"... accompanied by spotting, and braxton hicks contractions. Clif called the ER, and talked to Dr.F about it (who at first was convinced I was in labor). He said to rest, drink plenty of fluids...and call Dr.G in the morning to fill him in on things. I called first thing that next morning (Wednesday), and he wanted to see me. When he did his exam, I was told that my cervix had shortened...but I was not dilated. Dr.G sent me to triage to be monitored for contractions. I was having contractions, but they were few and far between and only lasting for 10-20 seconds each. Nothing to write home about. SO, I received my first part of the steroid shot - and Dr.G told me that he thought the babies would be here within 7 days.
By the time I was discharged, and we arrived home... I thought that I would have to go back to the hospital. I was having more and more contractions. But they subsided...and I made it through the night. Thursday started out uneventful...we slept late, and then headed to the doctor (again) to get the second part of my shot. After getting the shot, we went and got dinner... and then headed home.
Thursday night was not a good night. I struggled for several hours with whether or not I should call the emergency room. I knew who was on call - and I didn't want that doctor to be the doctor to deliver... so I waited it out. I had contractions all night long, sometimes 15 minutes apart...sometimes an hour. So nothing that was really timeable. My back ached...and I was feeling horrible. I was awake the majority of Thursday night, well into Friday morning.
Funny thing, Thursday night - I had told Clif that I thought we should pack my hospital bag... but he said that we would do it the following afternoon. Friday morning, I decided for myself that we should go ahead and pack the bag before leaving for the doctors office...Mother's intuition I guess.
Again, upon waking (or rather just getting out of bed)... I called Dr.G's office and told his nurse what was up. I actually had an appointment with the specialist, Dr.D that morning...so they told me to let them know there and have them check me. We thought we were  going to be seeing the male, Dr.D (older doctor) - but ended up seeing the female, and very blunt Dr.D. Which we are so thankful for. We first had an ultrasound and were told that the babies looked really good...and all three were super active. I told the ultrasound tech about the contractions - and she said that the doctor would be in to do an exam.
Nope...Dr.D came in and announced that she wouldn't do a pelvic exam. She explained that since Dr.G had been doing the exams, she didn't want to miss something and think that there was no progression... or a lot, when there really wasn't. SO, she sent me back to triage to be examined by Dr.G, who just so happened to be the doctor on call that day. Yay!
When we arrived at labor and delivery, we were told that triage was full so they put me into a room. Which I was excited and nervous about all at the same time! I honestly think they had forgotten about me at one point, but FINALLY...the ball started rolling. They hooked me up to monitors and I was told that I was having 9 contractions every ten minutes. I was in full blown labor and had absolutely no clue. I mean... I was experiencing some discomfort... BUT... I would have never guessed that I was in labor.
Dr.G came in the room for my exam, and announced that I was 1cm dilated. Which was pretty big considering my *very* stubborn cervix. :) He told us that there were medications he could try to give me to stop labor, but with my contractions...and my progression over the last few days - that if he sent me home, I probably would be back in by that night. Reality kicked in at this point, and Dr.G told us that he advised going ahead with the csection...that day. He left to put me on the OR list...which took some time, because there were a few people ahead of me...AND not to mention that I would need two OR's.
Needless to say - much of the rest of that afternoon is a blur to me. Nurses were in and out of my room, preparing me for surgery. They started an IV and started pumping fluids through me like crazy...so I had to make a couple of trips to the bathroom :) They came in and gave me some anti nausea medicine (the same as I got before...yummy sour stuff!)...and told me that I was next on the list.
Dr.G came in a few times to keep us updated - and they let us know that the neonatologist that was on the floor would be coming to talk to us... preparing us for things ahead of us. Dr.P came in to meet us, and explain things that may or may not happen that afternoon. We talked about respiratory issues...along with about a million others. We asked him a ton of questions...and he said he'd see us later that afternoon.
Next in was the anesthesiologist. He left a lot to be desired. Definitely not like my very first experience with an anesthesiologist. :) But that's okay. I signed the consent forms...and they began rushing me around for surgery.
Poor Clif's nerves had been shot since Wednesday morning when our nurse, J, told us that Dr.G said if I was the least bit dilated, it was baby day! Needless to say, during the time we were in the room before surgery...Clif bladder went through a lot! Seriously, you would have thought that he was the one that was pregnant!
Oddly enough, during that whole time... I remained completely calm. I wasn't nervous about the surgery... I wasn't nervous about the babies being okay... I was calm. I had peace. I had prayed for this peace my whole entire pregnancy...and God granted it to me. I knew that this day, like any other, and our children were in His hands.
Clif and I got one last picture together, and then I was taken to the OR. Whew. One of two OR's reserved for my delivery. They explained that the first baby out would be taken to the second OR.
I walked in the doors of the operating room, and immediately saw Dr.G. Any nerves that I may have been feeling were gone. I knew that he would take care of me.
He was actually HILARIOUS... because he was walking around doing the NURSES jobs. He said that if he didn't help them with their jobs, that he would be pacing outside the door. :) I guess he was nervous too? He helped me up on the table... took my blood pressure, got out the doppler...found the babies heart rates...and then it was time for my spinal block. >.<
When I had my csection with Lilly, the spinal went smoothly. This time... not so much. The anesthesiologist started by sticking the needle in...telling me to arch my back. Really? He kept telling me to lean forward...lean forward...arch my back. I wanted to be like, "dude...have you SEEN the belly on the front of me? I only can "lean forward" so much!". Geez. Dr.G stood by my side the whole time...first just with his arm around my shoulder,rubbing my back...telling me that it would be okay. And by the time that the second needle poke on my spine didn't go correctly (did the needle bend?) and he had to ask the nurse for a new needle... I thought I was going to pass out. It hurt. BAD.  At this point, Dr.G was standing in front of me...arms around me, up on a stool...holding on to me, to be sure I didn't fall off the table from leaning forward so much. It was super sweet...while holding me on the table (did I mention that he was having to BRACE himself on the stool? Embarrassing)... he continued to talk to me...he knew it hurt, it would be okay...ect ect. He even rubbed my belly! :) FINALLY, they finished with the spinal... and laid me down.
Things went pretty fast from that point. The nurses put in my cath... and the anesthesiologist placed an oxygen mask over my mouth (saying it was for the babies). That's when I freaked out. I'm claustrophobic...bad. And I hate having ANYTHING placed over my face. I literally thought I was going to pass out. I couldn't breathe...which is funny if you think about it. I was really about to have a panic attack when a nurse came to my side. She had a mask, and scrub hat on her head. She leaned down and whispered my name and said how happy she was for me...asked how I was... ect. I was thrown off by her talking to me, and then she whispered..."it's me. It's Heather". Omg. She was in the OR with me during my first csection. She checked on me numerous times during my stay in the hospital during November 2009. She is part of the S.H.A.R.E group in our area, and she participated in the Share Walk To Remember that Clif and our family went to last year. She heard that we were there...and WANTED to be there. At least, that's what I gather. How awesome is that?
I started to calm down, but still had an overall sense of panic. And then I saw him...Clif. Go ahead, you can gag now. But as soon as he was by my side...holding my hand... I was okay. At least one of us was! Poor Clif was hysterical. When he saw me, he started tearing up. Seriously thought we were going to lose HIM! He actually thought he was going to have to send my mom into the OR to be with me.
When he sat down next to me - we immediately started talking about how we were feeling...and then I heard Dr.Garcia say something about my bladder being out. I'll never forget looking up at Clif and saying, "umm...have I already been cut open?" Before I could finish my sentence...I heard them say that Baby A was out, and gave the time of birth...and then I heard Eli scream for the first time. Clif and I both burst into tears...well, I burst into tears...Clif CONTINUED to cry...and then sobbed. :) It was a precious time for our little family. Things went FAST then. We were able to peak over the sheet and see each baby coming out (once, Clif looked too soon and saw Dr.G's arm shoved in my abdomen up to his ELBOW!). What a precious experience that we will NEVER forget.
Dr.G should seriously get a reward for record time triplet csection. From the time he cut me open (without me even knowing it) until the time he sewed me up...twenty one minutes. Wow!
Our triplets entered the world...

"Baby A" - Eli Zayne - @5:28pm - 4lbs.06oz - 16 3/4 inches
"Baby B" - Easton Layne - @5:29pm - 3lbs13oz - 15 3/4 inches
"Baby C" - Elliana Rayne - @5:30pm - 2lbs15oz - 15 inches

Clif left me in the OR and went with the babies to the neonatal intensive care. We had arranged for my mom to come into recovery with me. I think that the average time in recovery is 1-2 hours. I was there for 45 minutes ;) I came out of surgery just fine, though I was told later that I did lose a good amount of blood. Though, it wasn't to the point of needing a transfusion. Praise the Lord!
After what seemed like forever... I was wheeled to the 14th floor. NICU. I was taken in, and was introduced to my precious babies for the very first time in person. They were absolutely BEAUTIFUL. I couldn't help but cry. Ahh...thinking back on it now just gives me chill bumps!
After twelve hours, both boys were off of CPAP... and on room air. Elliana followed the day after. Doctors and nurses were shocked out the size of our 31 weekers...and at how well they did.
The only one that really had immediate problems was Eli. Apparently he came out screaming, and then stopped. They gave him a dose of surfactin for his lungs, and the following day - a dose of caffeine because of his heart rate dropping. But other than that, the babies did wonderfully.
Clif and I were/are so incredibly blessed with a wonderful staff that cared for both me (during and after my pregnancy), and for our children. Dr.G will never fully understand how thankful we are that God placed him in our lives. In our children's lives. All four of them (at one point, don't remember when...Dr.G did acknowledge that we have four children).
As for the NICU staff...we couldn't have been more pleased. They were ALL absolutely AMAZING. Of course...we did have our favorites... :) And they know who they are!
Another way we have been blessed is with a wonderful group of prayer warriors. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts to all the family, friends, and complete strangers that have prayed ( and continue to do so) for our children.
God is good...all the time...and we are living proof. He held our hearts through the biggest storm of our lives...and on January 4th, 2011 (actually if you want to be literal, December 23rd,2010)...he blessed us with not one, not two, but THREE rainbows.

Got Milk?

**warning** Breast feeding talk ahead - probably TMI... but I need to get on my soap box for a sec. :)
Okay, first I have to say that I feel so incredibly blessed that God allowed me to exclusively feed my three little one's for the last *almost* six weeks. Today was the first day that I had to supplement...and it killed me.
I know that six weeks is awesome, considering there are THREE babies to feed. BUT... I hate that I can't continue to provide it for them.
Don't get me wrong... I plan to continue nursing/pumping until there is nothing left to pump.
I have been searching for different things that I can do to help increase my breast milk supply. I think that a lot of the cause of decrease was/is, lack of rest/sleep...not eating like I should (as busy as we are - I forget to eat half of the time), and not pumping as much as I should. Which, pumping every two hours...? Please. Who has time for that? Especially when you not only have three babies, but when you're living out of a hotel for five weeks... and then having to stay at home and run back and forth to the hospital for a week. Hm. Not easy. So yeah, I've been having a bit of a pity party over the milk issue. :(
Good news is... I'm still trying! People have suggested fenugreek...which the lactation specialist said not to use because it can mess with the babies' blood sugar, and make them gassy. Also, been told about "Mother's Milk"... but haven't had a chance to track that down.
My friends friend suggested that I ask Dr.G for a script called, reglan. Well... I went for my follow up yesterday and mentioned that my supply had decreased significantly. He suggested reglan right away! Yay. And though it's nowhere close to what it was, I can already tell a difference in my supply.
Speaking of Dr.G and my follow up/post partum appointment. :) I had that yesterday, before I headed to pick Elliana up from the NICU. It was my first visit in his new office, and it actually left a little to be desired. Ha! The office is just really outdated, and I am not entirely sure if the office has been in use. It's sad and depressing compared to his old office. And though his nurse is super nice...SO not 'J'. I'm gonna miss everyone at the other office.
Everything with the appointment went well. Dr.G did my exam, and said that everything is healing wonderfully -  and he has lifted all restrictions. WHICH... I have to say, I definitely did not listen like I did following my first c-section. :) But still thankful that everything looks a-ok.
As I mentioned, he gave me a prescription for reglan. It's an anti nausea medicine that {for some reason} increases milk supply. Who woulda thought? Also on the menu at the pharmacy? BC. The first birth control that I've taken in...well, almost four years. I had started BC right before we got married, and was only on it for a few months before I decided to go off of it.
Dr.G did kind of freak me out a little bit - saying that I could get pregnant, even if I didn't have a period. Actually, he said that I'm more likely to ovulate if I don't pump {at least} every four hours. >.< I am a firm believer that God never gives you more than you can handle...I just think that I would absolutely lose my mind if the doctor told me, oh... by the way - you're pregnant. Whew...what a nightmare.
Oh, as I'm sure you all have gathered...Elliana is home, safe and sound :) Last night was her first night home with us, and though Clif and I didn't get to sleep together...we were able to sleep in shifts and get some rest. Thank God! :)
Well, it's 10 and the kids don't start their next round of feedings until 11:15, SO... I think Mommy is going to lay down and get a little nap. Yay!

coming home :)

Going to my post partum appointment at Dr.G's office...then going to pick up my baby girl!!

this week...

Talk about a busy week ahead of us!! I figured that I had better post about it now...just in case I don't have time to post later on in the week! :)
First off, if everything goes well...Elliana should be coming home this week. Possibly even Tuesday! Right now, the only things that she has to do is keep taking bottles & keep from having any spells! Her spell countdown will be over on Tuesday...she passed her carseat study last night - AND her feeding tube is out (she decided she didn't need it anymore and yanked it out for herself!). She has been doing wonderfully on her bottles... which is a huge improvement from just a few days ago! :) We are so excited for our little girl to come home to us!
So...tomorrow is pretty normal, just going to the hospital to visit Elliana...and taking care of the boys at home.
Tuesday morning, I have my 6 week post partum appointment with Dr.G (at his new office). That's at 9:15am, so if Elliana comes home - I will be going to my appointment and then going to pick her up from the hosptial. :)
Wednesday morning, Clif is staying home with Eli while I venture out to take Easton for his carseat study. Fun stuff! If everything goes as expected, and Elliana comes home on Tuesday... looks like I will be taking them BOTH to the doctor. Whew.
:) We are overwhelmed at how blessed we are. Cannot believe that my pregnancy is over, THREE babies are here safe and healthy... and that by the end of this week... I should have all three of them home with me!
God has blessed us SO much...

Elliana's Heart...again.

I feel as if my sweet baby girl has all odds working against her. But she's a fighter!! We received a call from the cardiologist yesterday, explaining to us that Elliana still has a PDA (heart murmur). From what we can gather (it's hard understanding all the medical terms), her PDA was so large that the clip just couldn't hold it together and close.
Yep, that's right... we were told that Elliana is included in the 1% of PDA Ligation surgeries that do not work. The cardiologist that Clif spoke with yesterday said that he had never seen it in the ten years he has been performing the surgery, and the surgeon that performed Elliana's surgery said it's 1 in 100. Wow.
Praise the Lord though, because though the PDA is still there... and the hole is still very much open, it is now considered "small to moderate" where as before it was "moderate to large". From what we gathered before her surgery, it was a very large murmur.
Easton's murmur was also considered "small to moderate" before his round of medication, then it went to "tiny". Before he was discharged on Saturday, we were told that his echo came back "normal". So... there IS hope.
As of now, the plan of attack is nothing. Really, just waiting and keeping an eye one her. Monitoring her breathing (watching for the labored breathing like before her surgery), and her amount of spells. The cardiologist told us that they were not considering surgery, or any more medication because Elliana is not symptomatic. ALSO, the nurse practitioner told Clif today that she would call Elliana's PDA "restrictive"...meaning that the hole is trying to close. :)
The only plan as of now, other than just watching her to see how she handles it all - is performing another echo before she is discharged, and setting up a follow up appointment with the cardiologist three weeks from now.
We were also told today that Elliana is on her "spell countdown". She has not had a spell since the 15th, and if it stays that way - and she increases her bottle feedings... we are looking at bringing her home on the 23rd. If she continues to have spells, the nurse practitioner told us that it is a possibility that she may come home on a heart monitor. Whatever it takes to bring my baby girl home where she belongs. :)
We continue to praise God for the things that He has done, and is continuing to do in our children's lives. He hasn't given us more than we can handle, and we don't look for Him to start now!!
Thank you in advance for your continued prayers for our baby girl. Please pray that this PDA might very well be trying to close itself, and that when she has her follow up PDA before discharge - that it may already be closed. <3

there's no place like HOME

And that's where we (Clif and I) have been since Friday night! :) It's weird being back in house, but a nice weird, definitely.
Easton has been home with us since Saturday afternoon, so two...going on three nights with Mommy and Daddy. The first night (Saturday) went a lot smoother than I thought that it would. Clif and I slept in shifts...me sleeping through the first half of the night and Clif taking care of him, and then Clif sleeping the latter part of the night and into the morning. Thank God for a wonderful husband who allowed me to catch about four hours of sleep Sunday morning, into the afternoon! I wouldn't have been able to function if he hadn't have.
Last night (Sunday) was a little more challenging. Clif hadn't slept but a few hours over a twenty four hour period...so he was extremely tired. As was I. We decided trying to sleep, both of us at the same time - with Easton in a crib by our bed. It worked out pretty well, except I seemed to be the only one getting up with him. Apparently Clif was sleeping really well. >.< I got up for the 2:15 feeding, took his temperature (he wasn't quite warm enough so I had to undress him and add another layer, then dress him again), change his diaper, and feed him his bottle. I then put him in the cradle, and pumped for twenty minutes. By the time all was said and done, my 2:15 feeding didn't end until 3:45. I was able to get Easton back into the crib in our room, and myself back in bed by 4. The alarm (Easton AND the actual alarm) went off around 5:30...and I had thought that Clif was going to get up with him. Well...we both ended up getting up. And I've been up ever since. *sigh* I feel decent, but I'm wearing down...fast.
Currently I am the only person in the house that isn't snoozing. Mom & Clif are taking naps, and so are the boys! I feel very left out... and very sleep deprived!
Clif, my mom, and his mom headed to the hospital at 7:30 this morning to pick up Eli - and were back sometime after ten. :) It's so nice to have both of my boys home, and I am anxiously awaiting my little girl being able to come home too! Eli actually passed his second car seat study, so he was able to come home in a big boy car seat! :) Everything went well, and he is beginning to adjust.
Yesterday was a rough one, emotionally. It was hard knowing that I had to stay at home and take care of Easton - but also knowing that I had two more little ones at the hospital. I wanted to visit them so badly, and had planned on getting to the hospital around 2:30... I didn't end up getting there until 4:15, and was only able to stay an hour or so before having to come back to be with Clif and Easton.
Yesterday seemed to be a good day for Elliana. Apparently, a light bulb went off in that precious little head of hers - and she started taking her bottles MUCH better than she has in the past. She finished two whole ones, and then the most of several others. When I left, she hadn't had any "spells" all day, reflux related - or other. But they said as soon as I left, she had a pretty bad one. Talking with the nurse this morning, seems like it was more than likely related to reflux. *sigh* AND she has had two today. SO...we're looking at a minimum of eight more days before she can come home. I'm praying big, but I'm thinking that she might even be there longer than that! I just want her well, and home with me, her daddy, and brothers. It's so hard being away from her.
With today being our first day with the two boys home, I won't get the chance to go and see Elliana. And to be honest, it's eating at me pretty good. :( I miss her so much... and hate that I am not able to spend quality time with her, like I want.
I'm not going to lie... though I've only been doing the whole "two babies at home" thing for a few hours - I know that it's NOT going to be easy. :( Clif went to take a nap, and I had to wake him up within an hour because the boys woke up an hour early fussing because they were hungry. And yes, hungry is the only thing that I can figure because they both ate - and are now sound asleep.
Tomorrow is their doctor's appointments...I'm excited. And nervous - only because I'm not super excited about taking them out in the car. Whew... though, I know that God will give us strength...not to mention hold our hands all of the way!
I'm happy to announce that though I don't know exactly how much - I have lost a LOT of my pregnancy weight! My tummy (though flabby) is just about flat again! So nice, considering I was asked several times during my first week of postpartum, "Awww when is your baby due?" Yeah. Not so pleasant.
I'm not sure when I will head back to the doctor... Dr.G is moving offices, and is not taking appointments yet. But health wise, I'm doing just fine. :)
Clif and I have been incredibly blessed... and if you hear me complain too much (or read about it), please remind me of just how blessed I am!
One more thing, and I will close for now...not because I want to, BUT...I need to pump (story of my life). My milk supply has decreased significantly. Does any one have any suggestions on how to get it back up? The babies are catching up with me and my supply...and it makes me sad! I want for nothing more than to be able to continue to supply milk for my little blessings... but it's getting harder! If I did have to switch to formula...I could honestly say that I gave it my best "go"...and did as much as I could. Right now our deep freezer is full of bottles of milk...and so is the freezer at the hospital. :) So yes, suggestions please!!!

a stressful kind of day.

I hate to sound like a broken record, but...whew! What a day! :) Little Sir Easton is supposed to come home today. We've been here (at the hospital) since 7:45am...and we are still waiting.
This morning was a stressful one, that's for sure! We arrived just in time to do Elliana's care time (temp,diaper & feeding). So, I got on it right away. Today was picture day for all three of them too, so I went ahead and dressed her in her new outfit and pretty pink bow (LOVE it). After feeding her, I moved on to Easton. We knew that there was much to accomplish this morning, and as I was getting ready to move to Eli, in walks to the picture lady. She announced that she had a very busy schedule...and that we would have to take them to a different room, since there are three of them. Fun stuff. SO...our nurse said that she could feed Eli so that we could take the other two to start their pictures.
As we were getting ready to put Easton's picture outfit on, in walks the lady to do his echo (they wanted to do a follow up to make sure that everything looked "ok" before sending him home. If his PDA/murmur is still open he will have to have a follow up appointment with the cardiologist. We didn't want to hold the echo up, because we have to wait for the results before he can be discharged...so they started with him, and I started feeding Eli.
We finished up and wheeled Elliana & Eli down the hall to start their pictures. Needless to say, I wasn't impressed with the photographer. I didn't like her handling my babies... and I just, well... actually, I just all around didn't care for her.
After Easton's echo was finished our nurse brought him into the room...and we got a move on with the pictures. We got a lot of cute ones... but it stressed the babies out (well, all but Easton...he stayed asleep the whole time).Ha! Eli & Elliana had both just finished eating, and decided to spit up a few times... which scared Daddy, I think. He was ready to get them back to the nursery so that they could be plugged back up to their monitors. :)
We finished up with the actual picture taking in no time, and Clif wheeled the kids back to the nursery. Right after they hooked Elliana up to her monitor, she had another "spell"...and then threw up. Reflux. :( I'm really praying that she will grow out of this quickly.
The experience with the photographer after all of that was horrible. BUT...we got it done, that's what's important. Well, that... and my order being correct when it's delivered next week >.<
So that's our day so far. Currently, Easton is in the middle of his car bed study...which, we don't have high hopes for. Not only does he have to keep his heart rate up - he also has to keep his oxygen levels up...which he is struggling with. We are praying that he will pass and be able to come home with us this evening, BUT, if he fails...he will have to stay here until Monday at the least. *sigh* All in God's timing...and His will be done :)
Thank you all for your continued prayers for our babies! :) We so appreciate them. If you don't mind, please remember to lift Elliana up in your prayers concerning her reflux related spells. Please pray that she would be able to tolerate the food...and that she will be home with us soon, too! <3

together again...and homeward bound.

Yesterday, Elliana got her first bath... and her brothers were able to come and visit her afterwards! :) What a precious time to have all three of my babies together again! They really enjoyed it!
On the news front (which I'm going to make quick because I am going back to sleep for a while... just up for pumping!)...we were told yesterday that Easton is on his "spell countdown", and so is Eli. Just so happens that Easton's spell countdown is over on Saturday. Yes, as in tomorrow. And Eli's is over on Monday. Oh.my.goodness. :) SO... as long as Easton & Eli behave themselves...they will be coming home in the next few days. >.< We are looking to have Easton discharged Saturday morning, and then back to the doctor on Monday morning! I can't believe the day of taking a baby home are finally arriving.
Sweet little Elliana is still behind her brothers. She is catching them in weight, but she's a lazy NICU baby...and doesn't want to take her bottles. SO, as soon as she can catch up with the bottle feeding...and get rid of this reflux which is causing spells...she will be home too! I really am hoping that it will only be a week or two past her brothers coming home.
It's going to be so stressful trying to take shifts going to the hospital when the two boys are home. But it has to be done. My heart already aches as I think about leaving her behind on Monday morning. *sigh*
Saturday morning, the babies will get their official hospital pictures! YAY! :) We are so looking forward to their first real photo shoot...not looking forward to the money spent ;)
This has been a dream of mine for a long time...bringing a baby home, I mean. And it's been a long time coming. I know that Lilly is up there smiling down on us :)
And what better day for her little brother to come home, but the thirteenth. <3

:) 3 E's

Our babies are doing wonderfully. Actually, I can't believe how well they are doing. :) It makes me smile, and continually reminds me of how I should constantly be down on my knees thanking God for the three precious blessings he blessed us with *almost* four weeks ago. Whew... I can't believe they are twenty seven days old!
Okay, let me give you a quick update on everyone...

~Eli Zayne~
Eli is doing great, and is one step ahead of his brother and sister. Though his brother is bigger than he is - Eli has been consistent in weight gain, eating, and staying warm in his open crib. :) Such a big boy. He weighs four pounds, nine ounces now! He passed his hearing screening last week, and yesterday he was circumcised. Eek! He actually handled it rather well. Minimal crying, and a lot of grunting. The bad part was changing his diaper a little later in the day :( They tried doing a car seat study on him last week - but he decided to let them know (real quick, mind you) that he was too little. He had a spell within five minutes. So that's really all that he has left to do...he's in an open crib, he is maintaining his temperature...he has no feeding tube, he's taking all of his feeds... so that's about it, other than growing out of the "spells" that preemies are famous for.

~Easton Layne~
Easton is doing wonderful! Though he had his minor set back last week with his PDA, and had to go back into an open crib...and stop eating..., he has bounced back just fine. He is taking most of his bottles, but still has his feeding tube for lazy days when he doesn't want to finish his minimum of 35ml. The medicine for the PDA worked, apparently. His PDA went from "small to moderate" to "tiny" after the first round of medication. The other day we were told by the nurse practitioner that she could still hear the murmur, but it was not large. They are still hoping that it will close on it's own. Easton also got the little "snip snip" yesterday - but unfortunately didn't take it as well as his brother. Clif and I both were almost in tears due to him screaming at the top of his lungs. I was heart broken. BUT...all went well, and other than diaper changes he is fine. Easton was finally able to go back into an open crib the night before last - and has been maintaining his temperature perfectly! OH! And Easton is our big boy, weighing in at four pounds, thirteen ounces!

~Elliana Rayne~
Considering everything she has been through these past few weeks, Elliana is doing tremendously well. She's one tough cookie, that's for sure. After her surgery, she has bounced right back - full swing. She is now over four pounds, four pounds one ounce that is. :) She is up to full feeds too... now if she would just take her full feed, or even half, from her bottle. She is an all around NICU baby...SOoooooo lazy. :) She'll get there. Our only "concern" with Elliana as of now is that she is experiencing reflux. :( It wouldn't be so bad - but it's causing her to drop her heart rate. She continues to do well, and pull herself out of most of the spells... but it's still scary! The nurses tell me that she should grow out of this, and I am SO praying that she does! Elliana didn't have to get the big "snip" (of course...she was telling her brothers, "I am glad I don't have one of THOSE")... but she had a big day yesterday, too! She started her day with an eye exam. The doctor had to numb her eyes, and clamp them open. Can you guess why we didn't go to the hospital until after that was over? She has a follow up in three weeks...but the doctor did not see or anticipate anything being wrong :) She also passed her hearing screening yesterday afternoon! We are so proud.

Clif and I couldn't be happier with how well our babies are doing!

three weeks :)

I feel like I don't have time to think, let alone write a blog post (or even pee for that matter). Having one baby in NICU is hectic, I am sure... but having THREE? Absolutely insane.
I've been nursing Eli for a little over a week now (I think), so we try to be at the hospital as much as possible so that he can get used to nursing! :) I've nursed Easton before, but since he had to go on the medication for his PDA, I haven't been able to nurse him - because he had to start over with his feeds. BUT he is back up to full feeds so I can start nursing him again tomorrow. YAY! Little sister is almost to full feeds...and I will be able to start nursing her soon too!
Babies are doing wonderful. Eli has been in an open crib for several days now, and has been maintaining his temp! He also got his very first bath this past Friday :) He loved it.
Elliana moved to an open crib last night, and had her picc line removed this afternoon. Easton had his IV taken out either last night or this morning, and is trying his best to keep his temp up so that he can move back to HIS open crib. All three babies are considered to be doing "perfect" by the doctors and nurse practitioners. :) It makes me feel SOOOOO good.
Their weights as of last night are:

Eli - 4lb8oz
Easton - 4lb10oz
Elliana - 4lb0.2oz

LOVE them <3

We're still here...

:) Just wanted to say that we are still alive! Things have been hectic, but continue to go well.
Thanks for all the prayers for our precious little Easton. The first round of medication seemed to do the trick, and his PDA (murmur) shrunk. They first ruled it "small to moderate"... and when he was looked at again yesterday, they said that it's considered "tiny". We are praying that it might not cause any issues in the coming days - and that God may just close it completely! Elliana says that she's praying too... because she doesn't want anyone to take attention away from her! I tell Clif that she is going to use the whole, "I had heart surgery when I was 3 pounds and NOT EVEN two weeks old" card a LOT in her future. Ha!
Thank you for your continued prayers for me,Clif, and most importantly our babies! <3 Check out facebook (Desiree Joy Smith) for pictures!!

Short & Sweet...

Busy busy busy... I feel as if all we have been doing is running around here lately!

Saturday, Easton was able to move to an open crib - and was followed by Eli yesterday! :) Such big boys! Elliana continues to do well since her surgery, her respiratory rate has been up and down - but they are saying that it's due to left over fluids AND the fact that she had to work so hard for so long to breathe. They started feeding Elliana again on Saturday (PTL!), and yesterday while we were at church...she took her first bottle! And drank it ALL (tho...she still only gets a VERY small amount). She managed to take another bottle during the night, and the nurse told us that she really wanted more after she had finished! :( That breaks Mommy's heart. She probably will not go up on her feeds for a few days yet.

Please say a prayer for little Easton. We were told a week an a half (?) ago that both Easton AND Elliana had heart murmurs. Easton's was small - and they said that more than likely it would close over time. We were also told that unless he started showing symptoms from the PDA (murmur), that they would not do another echo. Well, this morning we went in - and they heard the PDA again during his morning assessment. SO, they have an echo ordered for today. They don't seem to overly concerned. The nurse said that it's not loud enough to cause worry, but they just want to take a look at it. The "good" thing is that Easton has not been treated with the medication - so, if it gets to that point we are praying that the medicine might close it and that he will not have to go through the same surgery as Miss Elliana. :) We are trusting God with this situation, along with all others.

Another thing on the news front... the boys have begun nursing! Easton get's very frustrated...and normally ends up screaming, and being given his bottle (which by the time he gets to the bottle... he is so tired from screaming, it gets poured down his feeding tube!). Eli on the other hand is a Mommy's Milk Man. He nursed on and off for almost thirty minutes yesterday evening. They didn't even give him anything else down his tube because he nursed for so long, AND I'm producing a TON of milk. Not even kidding... I pump on average, nine ounces in less than 15 minutes. Yes, I'm a cow. I can't wait to see how Elliana will do once she gets to that point! <3

Well, that's all for now... we are headed back in to do the care times with the kids! God bless you all, and thank you for your continued prayer!

life is good :)

Elliana is awake!! :) Talk about making a Mommy feel good. She was stirring a little bit this morning, but wasn't budging. Clif and I had to run some errands, so we didn't get to spend as much time at the hospital as we normally do. I'm sure that we bugged the nurses with all the phone calls to check on all the babies, but especially checking to see if Elliana had woken up.
We went back for the evening care times...and while I was pumping, she woke up! Her little eyes were so puffy from the fluids they gave her - it's hard for her to open them! But we did get to see her peek out a few times. :) I can't even tell you how much better that made me feel.
She still had her breathing tube in (she has been hooked up to a respirator since surgery), and her nurse tonight was chomping at the bit to get it out. :) She said that the tubes were actually hindering Elliana...that she was breathing on her own, and that she really needed it out. SO, the nurse finally got the "ok" from the nurse practitioner... and took the tube out! Thank goodness she waited until we left...but we just called back, and everything went well! She is breathing wonderfully on her own. Praise the Lord!!!
Eli & Easton are doing wonderful as well! They are both off of everything...except for heart monitors (which they will be on until they leave the hospital). Both of their isolettes are set at 27.5, which as soon as they get to 26.0, they can go into open cribs! They have started to wear clothes...which is absolutely adorable. :) They are wearing hospital shirts right now - but I just took their preemie clothes up there tonight! I can't wait to see them in real {little} people clothes! It will be PRECIOUS!
We were there for their weigh in's tonight...and...Eli is no longer the "big brother". Easton weighs in at 4lb3.3oz, and Eli is 4lb1.3oz. They are neck and neck! I was able to offer both boys their bottles tonight...Easton took 11ml for me, and  Eli took all but 3 (out of 35) for me :) Made Mommy feel really good.
Tomorrow will {hopefully} be the day that I finally get to try to nurse them! YAY! :) I'm looking forward to seeing how they react! I think Eli is going to do great - he seems to have really good suction on the bottle nipple...so we shall see. And Easton tends to go NUTS when I'm holding him close to my chest, because he smells my milk :)
Well...it's been another long day, and I'm ready for some sleep...not before pumping, of course ;)

Elliana's heart (UPDATE:4:20pm)

We just spoke to the surgeon, and he said that the surgery went well and was uneventful. Praise the Lord! We are currently in the Ronald McDonald Family Room, waiting to go in and see our precious baby girl! I can't say enough, thank you ALL for the prayers! You will never know how much your love and support (most of you complete strangers) means to us.
Doctor says that she is not out of the woods yet (of course)... they generally do worse for the first 24-36 hours, BUT, we have faith that God will see her through these coming days just as He did during her surgery!
Will keep everyone updated as we hear more.
Please continue to pray for our baby girl as she recovers over the next few days, pray that she makes a smooth and QUICK recovery...and that she catches up with her stinky ole brothers! <3
PRAISE GOD for seeing our {not so little} family through today!

Elliana's heart...(UPDATED:12:41pm)

UPDATE:
I just left Elliana a few minutes ago. Clif and I were able to hold her for a while, and just love on her before she goes downstairs for her surgery. It was such a precious time for all of us. :) Also, since the boys do not have their picc lines - we were able to disconnect their few wires and hold all three babies! Our sons were able to meet their sissy this morning! It was such a special time - thanks to our awesome nurses, S & K for making that possible.
Elliana will be taken down for her surgery in approximately 15 minutes from now. Hopefully will know something in a few hours. Please continue sending prayers up for our precious (very tiny) baby girl, Elliana Rayne. Thank you in advance!

Just spoke with the surgeon that will be performing Elliana's surgery. Surgery is set for 1:30-2:00 this afternoon. We will know a more definite time when we hear from the OR. Please continue to pray for our precious baby girl. The surgeon explained in detail about the surgery, and I'm actually feeling "ok" about it. He seems like a wonderful doctor - and has been doing this surgery for 10 years. He said that he truly expects Elliana to come through just fine.

The surgery will take about 30-45 minutes, but by the time she leaves NICU and the doctor does the surgery and everything is finished, it will be about two hours before we hear anything.

We are trusting in God  to carry Elliana Rayne through this surgery without hiccup. He has had a plan for her little life since before she ever appeared in my womb...and that hasn't changed yet! I believe that He has great plans for her life, and I love the fact that she has already touched many lives in her short 13 days here on earth (outside of Mommy's belly).

Elliana has been given blood this morning...they said that her levels were "ok"... but considering she is getting ready to undergo surgery, they went ahead and gave it to her. I'm waiting for the blood transfusion to finish up (it takes 3 hours), and then headed back to the nursery to hold her before she goes down for surgery.

Thank you all in advance for praying for our sweet baby girl, will update with more as soon as we know it.

Update on Elliana...please pray!

Clif just spoke to one of the NICU nurses - and according to her, the nurse practitioner talked to the surgeon, and it looks like her surgery is going to take place tomorrow. We don't know 100% for sure, but it's very likely. The nurse told us that it would be a good idea for us to get to the hospital early in the morning, in case we need to meet with the doctors and sign consent forms.
Please pray for our precious baby girl, that the Lord might have His loving hands on her - and her heart. Not only that, but pray that He would guide the doctors that will be performing her surgery. That He may give them the wisdom to make the right decisions for Elliana. Pray for a smooth surgery, and a quick recovery.
And for the nerves of Mommy & Daddy. I know it's in HIS hands now, just like it always has been... but it scares me to death. Our little 3lb7oz baby girl is going to be undergoing heart surgery.
Whew...God is in control. God is still God, and God is still good.

Prayer For Elliana.

Dear Friends,Family & Strangers...
Clif and I are asking desperately that you pray for our precious baby girl, Elliana Rayne. Elliana has a heart murmur that was noticed just a few days after her birth (11 days ago). She has been given two rounds of medications to try and correct the murmur (PDA), but neither round helped.
Nurse practitioners/doctors have told us that they generally do not like to give more than two rounds of the medication. Since her second round, she has been retaining quite a bit of fluids...which has become a concern of ours - and her health care providers. This morning, they did an xray of her shoulder (to check her picc line, it had coiled up yesterday) and they noticed that her heart & fluids around the lungs had drastically increased. She was scheduled to have another scan of her heart tomorrow, to determine whether or not the PDA had begun to close... but they bumped it up to today.
Verdict is in and the cardiologist says that the PDA is still there - and it has not begun to close. We still have not heard a finalized decision from the doctor and surgeon - but the nurse practitioner that we talked to today seems to think that the doctors are going to decide on surgery.
It's really scary... and it's one of the hardest (I'd say the second hardest) thing that I've ever had to face. BUT...we know that God is in control of our babies.
Please pray for Elliana as she may (more than likely) be facing this surgery in the next  day or so - not taking away from her, say a prayer for Mommy & Daddy too! It's been a stressful day...the feeling of helplessness is absolutely consuming at times.
The doctors say that the surgery is very common, especially in preemies. Though, normally babies of Elliana's age generally correct on their own. They did say that they have had their fair share of surgeries on babies of her age. Of course, like with every surgery - there are risks...and that's what terrifies me.
*sigh* Please pray for us, and our beautiful baby girl in the days to come. Will update when we have more information. Thanks in advance for all the prayers sent up.
Not to leave out the boys... they seem to be doing well. They are currently competing in size/weight AND "spells"...I think they are destined to be a handful...or two. :) Please continue to pray for their health, and growth...along with Little Miss. Praying that all three will be home safe with us in the weeks to come.

For I know the plans...

And I know He does. He hold the future of my family in the palms of His hands.

Just a quick note to ask you all to be praying for Elliana. Her heart murmur has not shrunk, and she has had the maximum doses of the medication. The doctor & surgeon met this morning and have decided to keep an eye on her, considering that she is still doing so well on her own. She is still on room air, and is doing wonderfully! The next step would be a surgery (that's "dangerous" but done all the time), where they go in through her side and put a clip on the artery to make it close. The surgery takes about an hour.

Clif and I are bathing this in prayer, and asking that you join us. We are praying that if it be God's will that he will heal this hole - and that she may not have to go through the surgery (not to mention Mom & Dad having to go through it too!!). We know that His will will be accomplished in the end...

Also, asking for prayer that when Easton has his next EKG that his small murmur will be healed.

Eli seems to be fine :) Growing - and chugging his bottles like crazy!

God bless you all... and thank you in advance for praying with us for our precious children.

blessed + stressed = tired mommy

I'm exhausted. I've been setting my alarm clock two and three different times a night to get up and pump, and we're not even going to bed until midnight or later every night!
Last night was a struggle, and apparently my body was SO tired - that it finally just gave out.Can't say that I blame it... it's been through quite a bit during my pregnancy with the triplets, and a LOT in the last week and a half. I guess it decided to trump my decision to get up and pump and make me sleep. :) I slept through two alarms, that threw off my pumping schedule. Oh well... what's done is done. And I do feel a little more rested.
Yesterday started strong, and it ended with me laying in bed crying. I think the tears were because of several little things all piled together. I was exhausted, I was in a little pain from the surgery and waiting for the pain pills to kick in, I'm hormonal (they said to expect mood swings for a few weeks)...and then there were some little hiccups with the kids yesterday.
When we went to visit first thing yesterday morning, we were told that they had heard a murmur on Easton as well. So an ekg was ordered for both Easton, and Elliana...for her follow up (she finished up her three days of meds). We received the results yesterday afternoon...Easton's is not big enough that they are worried right now, they will just continue to keep an eye on it. Elliana's is still there, but the cardiologist did not write in the chart if it had shrunk at all. She will be undergoing another three day treatment with meds to try and help shrink the murmur. :-/ I'm a worry wart, as most of you know... and I'm so much worried about the murmur (because they are so common)... but, I am worried about her being on a 6 day straight treatment. The medicine that she is on for the murmur messes with the blood flow in her little belly, so therefore they cannot continue to feed her as they had been for the last several days before starting the treatments. She is getting all of her fats and vitamins/minerals through an IV... but still no milk for her until this treatment is finished. It is breaking my heart, and there is nothing that I can do about it. The nurse ensures me that Elliana won't be hungry, she said that it's very rare for them to show signs of hunger because of her age. Plus, she is getting everything she needs in the IV.
I did kangaroo time with her yesterday...and it's all I could do not to bust out in tears. We had friends visiting with us at the time (the friend is pregnant...maybe it was a mix of hormones? ha!)... and I really didn't want to lose it in front of them. Though, I know they wouldn't have cared. When the nurse placed Elliana on my chest, Baby Girl started "rooting" for the first time. She smelled my milk and was nuzzling all around, licking my chest...just like her brother did! My heart ached. And other parts leaked ;) Just knowing that she knew what I had, and the whole point of me not being able to give it to her in ANY way. Whew... so now Daddy has to do Kangaroo Care with Miss Elliana until she is able to start eating again. After lying down in bed last night, I just burst into tears over my baby girl.
Easton has had a few "spells", where he drops his heart rate. We are told that they expect our children to do this, because of their age. They've each had it happen now... and it's just right down scary. Even if it is normal and expected. :) Mommy and Daddy have a hard time handling it. Yesterday he had a spell during kangaroo care when Clif was holding him...my heart was in my throat, and I wanted to scream. It didn't get down too low... but still too low for our comfort. Reason being, he was so comfy on his Daddy's chest, that he had slumped his little head over - cutting off his airway...as soon as they got his head up and spanked his bottom he was good to go. Whew.
Eli seems to be the "good" child right now...not really having any troubles at this point. We had to run some errands yesterday morning and then we saw a movie before heading back to the hospital for the evening & night. When we called we were shocked to learn (and sad because we were not there) that Eli had been rooting around in his bed. His nurse K, said that he had been waking up before feed time... wide awake. He was on his tummy... and she said that he would open his mouth wide and try to suck on the bed. They gave him his pacifier and he went to TOWN on it... he's putting his hands to his face, and sucking his fingers. She spoke with the nurse practitioner on the floor, and the np told Eli's nurse since he was actually showing them hunger signs, to try and feed him through his bottle (instead of his tube) that time. He LOVED it. He finished 14 (I think, maybe 12) milliliters. What a porker! They also gave Easton a bottle, just because if brother is trying it...they wanted him to try too. He took about 11 mil and then went to sleep.
Apparently the bottle wore him out because that's when his spells started up. They said that they really felt that the bottle had tired him. Now Baby Boy Easton is back on the nasal cannula. He's only on .5 liter...so it's barely a little whiff!
All in all, our babies are doing wonderfully. We try our hardest not to complain because we know there are babies in our pod that are MUCH worse than our little ones. Nurses continue to tell us how well our babies are doing for their gestational age...AND their actual age. Which, by the way... they are a week old today (well, they will be at 5:30). I cannot believe my precious little miracles are 7 whole days old. Geez... this is going fast!

it's 4:52, do you know where your children are?

I know where mine are! The hospital :) And I am across the street (in our very comfty hotel) pumping away. Fun stuff. Oh, and did I mention that Clif is sound asleep in bed. Hmmm... must be nice.
Things are going really well...and it's so hard to get my sleep deprived brain to think of things that we should update on.
Eli & Easton are up to 8 feeds a day, and tolerating very well. They've both needed a little help with their "stooling", and have been given some meds (Elliana was started on these meds a few days earlier because she had yet to "empty" things on her own).
Since I last wrote, we were able to start "kangaroo time" with all three babies! For those of you that don't know, Kangaroo time is a time of skin to skin holding for Mommy,Daddy, and babies. Generally during a normal care time, they swaddle the baby for you to hold... but for Kangaroo time, you strip from the waist up and have your baby (diaper only) put on your chest, and covered with a blankie. It's pretty magical. I have had this special time with all three babies now, and while my time with all the babies was special... my time with Easton was most memorable. :) He's a funny little guy. The nurse handed him off to me yesterday... he came to me crying, but settled as soon as reaching my arms. And then as soon as the nurse walked away...this kid went NUTS. He smelled my milk...so all he could do was burrow into me. He'd push with his feet, raise his head to look at me...start crying, and then flop his head down right between my breasts. Then (while still crying) he would start making sucking noises, and actually started to LICK me. Not suck...not even trying to suck... but LICK me. It was HILARIOUS. :) And then he found his thumb. Call me crazy, but I do have the pictures to prove it. He found his thumb, got JUST his thumb in his mouth...and really sucked on it. Craziness.
The only other update we have is that they told us a few days ago that Elliana has a slight heart murmur. They thought that it would correct on it's own during her first few days of life - but it has not. They started her on medications the night before last, and it's supposed to be a three day deal. At least for the first round. The only thing that breaks my heart is that she is not able to be fed during time of treatment, so she is having to rely fully on her nutrients coming from the IV. And she SOOO loves her nutrition coming from Mommy's milk. :( Only a day or so left...and I am so glad. Please pray that this one round will take the murmur away, and that we won't have to put her through this again!

baby update (from the outside!) weird...

Our three little ones are ALL doing amazing. Doctors and nurses are amazed at how well they are doing, considering their gestational age.
Both boys still continue to breath room air, with no assistance. Eli's oxygen levels dropped slightly during the night, but nothing to the point where they had to put him back on cpap...or even a nasal cannula. :) It's actually apnea (which is very common for preemies) and they are treating it with caffeine. Weird! Dr.G says that we need caffeine when we get up (coffee), so babies should get it too! ha :) They say that the caffeine with last a few days, and his brain should be "old enough" by then to remember to breathe. Aside from that (and that's no big thing!) both boys are doing wonderfully.
Little Miss Elliana continues to do fine as well. She still has her nasal cannula. It's just pushing air into her lungs...she is not on oxygen either.
All three started their feedings yesterday (through feeding tubes, of course). All are doing WONDERFULLY with it. Keeping the milk down, and digesting it. Yay! A big praise.
I've been able to pump off and on... though I'm afraid that the colostrum is coming to an end. We are praying that my milk will come in during these next few days <3
I'm healing well from the surgery, with little pain from my incision. However, where my stomach was stretched open SO FAR during surgery, I have a crazy amount of air that remains in my stomach. It's probably one of the most painful things I've ever endured. :) But, it will be gone in time...and it's so worth it.
I still can't get over the fact that God has blessed us with three beautiful, HEALTHY, living & breathing babies! We will for ever be in debt to our Savior who has blessed us with so much.
Dr.G came in this morning to check on me...and we had a very nice chat. He continuously told us how well the babies are doing - and how he is thrilled that everything has gone so well with us, and him. We were able to give him his gift (a hand turned pen made by my brother). He cried :) We cried. We hugged...and, once again I can't say enough how much I truly love that man. He has been such a blessing to me and my family. I'm so thrilled that God saw fit to put him in our lives, and that he has been able to be a part of everything over these last two years!
More updates later....

our little ones

Easton Layne

Eli Zayne

Elliana Rayne

:) You can find me, and more pictures on facebook. I'm under "Desiree Joy Smith"

they have arrived :)

They are here, and Mommy (& Daddy) are exhausted.

Eli, Easton & Elliana made their appearance at 5:28,5:29,5:31 this evening :)

Babies seem to be doing well... All three are breathing on their own, but of course are hooked up to CPAP (NICU dr says that with them being preemies, they may "forget" to breath).

Eli Zayne weighed in at a whopping 4lbs.06oz

Easton Layne weighed in at 3lb.12oz

Elliana Rayne weighed in at 2lb.15oz

All three are more beautiful than words can describe.

Dr.G was on call, so we were blessed that he was the one to deliver our special bundles! (Will write a more in detail post when I can actually hold my eyes open!!). Dr.G says that the surgery went really well...and I'm feeling great. Just got my first pain meds since the babies were born, and it's midnight!!

More to come...

(pictures posted to facebook)

update on update...

Been having contractions (similar to the ones before - but more intense) since 2AM this morning. Timed them, but aren't super close together...which is a good thing, because we don't want them to be!
Dr.G is on call, and delivering as I type. He's supposed to be back in the office by 10ish. Our appointment with Dr.D (the older gentleman) is at 11 - so I have been told to keep that appointment unless contractions worsen...see what Dr.D says. They may want to hook me up to a monitor in their office, or want to send me back to Dr.G to check my cervix again.
Boy oh boy... :) Will keep everyone updated as we know more <3

quick update... (non facebook users)

Most of you probably already know through facebook, but some of you might not. I went to get the second half of the steroid shot this afternoon. Dr.G was not in the office, but his nurse (J) gave it to me. More painful than yesterday's for sure... J put it closer to the "rear" than the other nurse...and used quite a bit of force behind it too! Right in the muscle.
We talked to J, and she said that Dr.G came in after his shift at the hospital this morning and said that he was really surprised I wasn't back in the ER last night - because of the events of yesterday. He told her that he will be thrilled if I can make it past 2:00 tomorrow. They say that the steroid shot is most effective after 48 hours of the first injection, up to a week. Dr.G is on call all weekend (- tonight)...so we are hoping that we can at least hold out until he comes on shift in the morning.
Several people have asked about the babies being so small, and what kind of care they will need. More than likely, they will spend some time in the NICU. Clif and I have been preparing ourselves for this since the day that we found out that I was carrying three precious babies inside my womb. We are trusting God fully in this department. All three babies have shown signs of breathing, and the boys have done so consistently. We are praying for the best outcome possible...and that God would bring our babies safely into this world, in His time.
Not that I know His timing... but I have that gut feeling that it's going to be SOON. I told the nurse today that I can feel that my belly has dropped. Looking back at last weeks picture compared to this week, I can definitely see it. Which makes complete sense since Dr.G said that my cervix is shortened. J says that it means the babies are moving down toward the birth canal.
:) Please continue to pray with us concerning the babies... will keep you all updated as much as possible! Number one prayer request is that the babies arrive safely with minimal problems...that their lungs may be well on their way to completely developed, and that they would be able to learn to eat quickly (if they need any assistance). Also, please pray for the best possible birth weight for all three :) Nerves are HIGH mode, but we are trusting the Most High! <3

 

there's a first for everything (my first trip to the ER)

...what a day! Well, what a last almost twenty four hours! :)

Last night after dinner, I decided to head off to take a shower. It's my evening ritual. I can't tell you how nice it is to have just those few minutes to myself. Most days, I have someone with me 24/7...and it tends to make one feel like they are a three year old. ANYway...when I went to the rest room, I noticed a little spotting. I (of course) let it freak me out, even though Dr.G had told me Monday morning that I may bleed after my pelvic exam.
Shortly after I started to experience some light cramping in the bottom of my stomach, close to my csection scar (where I had cramping about six weeks ago), and then sharp pains in my pack that came around to my pelvic region.
Clif called the hospital, and had the doctor on call paged. He called back withing ten or fifteen minutes. "He" being Dr.F. Clif told him about the spotting, and explained that it was very little, that I saw it when I went to the restroom, and that I had only seen it the one time. He didn't seem concerned with the blood, especially after we told him about the pelvic exam from the previous day. I won't go into the details that Dr.F did... but let's just say that he said that it (blood) can get "trapped" inside, and take a while for it to come out. Ew.
When we told Dr.F about the cramping & back pain, he was convinced that I was in labor and told me to start timing them (if timeable). He then hurried off the phone saying that the nurses were calling him to deliver a baby...he later explained that the head was crowning. Again...ew. :)
He called back and we told him that the "contractions" (if that's what you want to call them) were anywhere from 5-15 minutes apart, and that they had finally quit. He seemed to think that everything was "okay"...but suggested that I call Dr.G first thing in the morning to let him know what was going on.
So... I called the office at 8:30 this morning to talk to my nurse, J. As soon as I told her what the deal was, and that Dr.F had thought I was in labor last night...she didn't even consult with Dr.G...she told me to be there by ten.
We got there, sat down for a few minutes...and was called back. I lost two ounces since Monday (water I'm sure), and believe it or not... my blood pressure was actually decent! They took a urine sample, and surprise surprise there was blood in my urine (not visible). They said that it could be left over from the pelvic exam, or maybe even a bladder infection type deal. Nothing to be concerned about.
My nurse, J, informed me that Dr.G told her this morning that if I came in and was the least bit dilated that the babies would be born TODAY. Poor Clif almost had a heart attack. I joked with all of them saying that Dr.G was going to make me sit in the chair, and Clif lay on the examination table on his left side. :)
Dr.G came in and did another pelvic exam... no dilation, but my cervix has shortened. Whatever that means, I don't know really. Maybe that the babies are moving down some? Anyway...so I have a shortened & soft cervix...but no dilation yet.
:) I love how concerned my doctor is over me. He said that with all these symptoms, and me never experiencing them before that he wanted to go ahead and get me the steroid shot. So we were told we were going to hang out at the office until the medicine got there, and that Miss V would squeeze me in for an ultrasound while we waited. They called two pharmacies, and no one had it in stock...and couldn't get it until tomorrow.
Dr.G came out of his office and announced that he thought it would be better that I go over to the "Triage" and be monitored. I think he was concerned that I was having contractions, and didn't know it. Plus... that way we could have the babies monitored for a few hours.
So...off we went to the ER. :) Fun stuff. I wasn't really as nervous as I thought I would be. All three babies were moving good, so I was as calm as possible.
We got to triage, they had me undress...and in came the nurse to take my blood pressure and hook me up to all the monitors. Aka, my worst fear. It wasn't until we reached that point with Lilly's pregnancy that we were told that they couldn't find a heart beat. So it was a little stressful for me.
I told her where the babies generally are, and she went to work. She picked up Mr.Eli first try. Easton...not so easy. He had JUST been moving before she walked in, but after ten minutes of trying to pick up his heart beat - she called in another nurse. Exactly what happened when we were in the hospital for Lilly's delivery. All I could do was hang on to Clif''s hand for dear life and pray.
The second nurse came in, tried for a minute and then realized... oh hey, this lead isn't WORKING! Really? They had been trying for almost fifteen minutes to pick up my baby boy's heart beat with a DUD monitor. They brought in a different one, and BOOM... there he was, healthy and happy as could be. Geez. Clif explained to the lady how that it was torture for me, because it was at that point that we were told we had lost our first baby. Whew. Elliana wasn't a problem picking up - then I was left to be monitored.
I am told that I'm not in labor...and I'm not having "labor contractions". But I am experiencing braxton hicks contractions. They are generally only lasting about 10 seconds, and they never did tell me how close together they are (not that it really matters). Babies heart rates are great...all the nurses and Dr.G said that everything looks great. OH, did I mention that Dr.G was on call today AND he's on call all weekend? Thank you God! :)
We waited for my steroid shots to arrive, I was given one... Dr.G came in a second time to check on me... and then he released me to go home. It's a two part shot, so I have to go back to his office tomorrow afternoon for the nurse to administer the second portion.
Dr.G says I have a 50%  chance of making it to my scheduled csection date. Could be today...could be three weeks from today. I think that secretly he was hoping it would be today... and I have to admit, so was I.
I'm still experiencing some discomfort with the BH contractions...so we will be keeping an eye on them for the rest of the evening.
*sigh* Whew. On a funny note...Dr.G was doing the pelvic exam this morning, and he went a little further than Monday...and when he did. Either Elliana or Eli kicked his hand. TOO funny. He was like, oh...well...someone doesn't like me, because I just got kicked. The weirdest part was the I FELT the baby kick against his hand. Yes, that deserves a third "ew".
Finally...a friend just texted me about my hospital adventure - and mentioned today's date. 7/13. Nineteen months since 11/13/09. This friend says that Lilly must have been watching out for us :) I agree.
Well...that's my update for now. We go back for the shot tomorrow, Prenatal Center on Friday morning, and then back to Dr.G's office (to see T) on Monday morning. Fun stuff. :)
(Oh, and ironic that the nurse that took care of me in Triage today told us - after learning about Lilly - that her first pregnancy was with triplets, that she miscarried <3)

more than we deserve.

I can't help but smile after a good doctor's appointment. :) And yes, I'm smiling today! Our appointment with Dr.G (yes, we actually got to see him!!!) went wonderfully.
I was squeezed in for an ultrasound with Miss V to check fluids & heart rates. Everyone looks good, and heart rates are god as well. :) Miss V says that there are plenty of pockets of fluids around babies important parts. All three little ones have stayed in the same position, for the most part. Though - I think all three of them have turned over. Their heads are in the same spots...so that's a plus. I don't know how much more my poor belly can take.
Last night was a rough night... actually, all evening... into last night. Babies were very active. And normally, that does nothing but make me smile. Last night? Not so much smiling going on. I really thought that Elliana's foot was going to pop out of my...well, you know. Seriously. It was really painful. No contractions... but lots of movement and pressure "down there".
After telling my nurse, J, about this... she told Dr.G. :) Which led to a pelvic exam. FUN STUFF. :( Not. Talk about uncomfortable. Bleh. Anyway... he said that sometimes things are going on, and women don't realize it, so he wanted to check and make sure that everything was okay. Cervix is still clamped shut, but softening. :) Now to see if the exam jump starts anything...
We discussed the steroid shots... I was hoping to possibly get one this week, and then one at 33 weeks just to help their lung development. Dr.G said that they used to do repeat shots, but after some study done on sheep (his exact words) they no longer like to do it. Apparently there was some neurological findings. ANYWAY... so unless they foresee problems before 33 weeks, we will get the shot then.
Dr.G knows that I'm getting really uncomfortable, and expresses that he wants the babies out just as much as I do! I think we all will be able to sleep better at night once these babies get here! Just a few more weeks to go.
Dr.G told us something today that at first really upset me until I understood him better. He is leaving his current practice in August. :( He's going to stay in the area but will be over a group of interns. Which is cool for him...but I was seriously about to start crying. I thought he said (Clif later corrected me) that it might take place before my post op appointment, to have my staples & such removed...and that I might have to see another doctor. I was wrong. :) He will still be seeing his private patients...and what he said was, that I might have to go to another office to see him. Which is awesome, because I couldn't imagine seeing another doctor after being with him for so long. But it's also sad... because I want everyone else at that office to see our babies too! :( So yeah, bitter sweet.
After everything was said and done, Dr.G left the room for me to get dressed. After getting ready, Clif and I were walking out when he decided he was going to stop by Dr.G's office and say "thank you". Well, apparently Clif went in his office and started thanking Dr.G not only for everything he has done during this pregnancy, but everything he has done for us in the last two years. Which...really, it's three years that I've been seeing him. Clif told Dr.G that he had exceeded our expectations as a doctor, and that he had gone above and beyond what his actual job is. Needless to say, Clif might have made our doctor cry. Dr.G told Clif that we are a very special family of five... but quickly corrected himself, "six, with your little girl". I am SO thankful that I wasn't in there because I would have lost it. He recognized our Lilly as part of our family. Not something that many doctor's do.
*sigh* Every time I see Dr.G I can't help but think about how much I LOVE that doctor! He has been nothing but good to me. And to think that there are many people in my life that think I should have switched doctor's after losing Lilly... I couldn't imagine being followed so closely by anyone else. Dr. G has been a tremendous blessing to me, and my family. :) I can't wait to see him hold our babies!!
Well... I think that's it for now. We have another appointment at the prenatal center on Friday morning. And then an appointment with T next Monday morning... :( We can't see Dr.G because he's not in the office that day...or the next. BOO!
Actually, from what I can tell...all of our appointments are scheduled for the next three weeks. It makes everything real and scary! :) we are going to have three babies here in THREE WEEKS...and two days, but who's counting?

**Prayer Requests**
-Please pray for a friend of mine (pregnant with twins) that has been having strong contractions for *almost* two weeks now. :( She is 37 weeks pregnant, but isn't progressing much in the dilation department. Hopefully they will induce soon!
-Please pray for a young couple who said goodbye to their baby girl a week or so ago, there was a graveside service held for this precious angel today.

30 week weigh in...

Today's doctor's appoint = amazing!

I have to say...we haven't had a disappointing appointment yet! And we can not thank God enough for that. We are so incredibly blessed.

Our ultrasound couldn't have gone any better. Eli & Easton both received an 8 on their score cards today, because BOTH of them breathed for 30 seconds straight. Little Miss Elliana got a 6 because though she did give us a few breaths, she was too stubborn to breathe for 30 seconds. Little booger. :)  They said that it's nothing to worry about, especially at this stage in the game. But it was the first time that we got to see her breathe, so it made me feel better.

All three babies have rearranged themselves since TUESDAY. Really? Less than 48 hours later and they are all positioned differently. Crazy little kids. Eli has moved his head up to my side, with his body down at the bottom of my belly...legs tucked under his butt. Easton is head in my side, and the rest of his body right down the middle of my belly. And Elliana went from having her head almost hanging OUT of me to her head securely in my left rib cage...with her butt about half way down my tummy and legs going every which way. Oh, and did I mention that all three babies are breeched? Yep...those are my kids! :) They are crammed so close together that it took a few minutes for S to measure Elliana's fluids... because the boys were squishing her!

Speaking of fluids, the ultrasound tech, S, explained it to us today. Thank goodness! :) She said that for multiples, they only measure one pocket on each baby... because it's so difficult to do. They consider 2mm to be normal for triplets. The boys fluids are measuring 5-6, and Elliana's is a 7. Gotta love it.

Weight gain was a huge thing this week, and for once...it wasn't Mommy! Though... it did make me feel better to learn that my three pound weight gain in TWO weeks has been all baby!! Here is what the babies weighed in at two weeks ago, at their last growth scan.

Eli = 2lb8oz
Easton = 2lb11oz
Elliana = 2lb4oz

....and today?

Eli = 3lb8oz
Easton = 3lb6oz
Elliana = 2lb13oz

HOORAY! :) We have been praying non stop that these babies would gain weight rapidly, and that they are!! The doctor's seem to be thoroughly impressed with how big our babies are at just 30 weeks. They are almost on track for a SINGLETON pregnancy! Praise the Lord! Other praises, she couldn't measure because of the way little man is folded in there... BUT... Eli's kidneys continue to look normal!

We saw Dr.D today, the older man. He didn't have one negative thing to say. I told him about my blood pressure being up, and Dr.G increasing my dose of Labatalol. He agreed with that, and basically told me to keep an eye on it. He said that the babies seem to be doing great! And he told me unless I heard something about the 24 hour protein clearance, that...apparently, I have been cleared! :) We have three more appointments scheduled at the prenatal center...and then it's D-Day!!! Dr.D agrees with Dr.G's statement of that I have a 50/50 chance to make it to August 3rd... but says that I continue to do exceptional... and he really thinks that I may have a chance. Which means... if these babies keep it up...we might have 4-5 pounders!! WOO HOO!

One cute thing that happened during the ultrasound. We were watching Easton and he started doing this crazy thing with his lips. It was like he was sucking. We sat there for several minutes watching him "suck" and swallow!! You could see his little tongue poke out of his mouth and everything. It was precious...and yes, I did cry a little bit. AND since we rarely ever get to see their faces because of their tight quarters...we got an added treat :) PICTURES!! Now if Eli & Elliana would just show their little faces for their Mommy & Daddy!

I'd like to say that he is blowing kisses to his mommy!

OH! And one more cool thing. There was a student in the room for our ultrasound. A younger lady...and when I walked in, I thought I recognized her. But didn't really pay any mind to it. Well...when they left out to leave us to wait for Dr.D - Clif was like, do you remember her?

I don't know if any of you remember me complaining about Dr.S bringing a PREGNANT woman in the room for my IUI... BUT... it was her!! :) She remembered us too. AND she had her baby, and he is now 5 months old. Pretty cool.

30 weeks :)

Yesterday was the first doctor's appointment that I had without Clif by my side. :) BUT, once again...we got another good report.
Starting off, when I walked in I informed the receptionist that I had my 24 hour urine collection with me... and that I needed to get it to S, and have blood drawn. Turns out that 3/4 of the staff were off yesterday, so things were a little crazy. However, they did take me right back to the lab, weighed me (2 pounds since Friday...yes, we're officially at 50 pounds), took blood, took my blood pressure (borderline... but I had been running around since I got there)... and then got me right in for my ultrasound.
The babies had been going CRAZY on the way to the office, so I wasn't as nervous as I originally thought that I might be. Easton especially. :) Clif and I were talking last night how we look forward to seeing all the babies, and watching their personalities come out... but we both are anxious to see Easton's. Just because we feel like he has so much personality already.
The ultrasound was...uncomfortable. It took a little longer than I thought it would... which freaked me out a little, and made me a little sick feeling. If we hadn't finished up when we did... I probably would have had another fainting scene. She scared me at first because she spent a lot of time looking at Eli...but then finally apologized for taking so long, saying that she was just trying to figure out how the babies were positioned... and what parts belonged to who. Ha! There are babies everywhere in there. Eli is still breached, though he has moved up...with his head closer to the middle of my right side. Easton is always flipping around...his head has shifted a bit to my right, and his little body is curled across the top of my belly...with his feet kicking his sister in the butt. Too funny. Elliana continues to keep her head down...though it has gotten much lower, V was all the way down on my pubic bone looking at Elliana's head. Crazy little girl. She is butt up in the top of my belly on the left side, with her feet kinda dangling all around.
All three were definitely hyped up in there, V said that their heart rates were completely normal... but so high because they were moving so much! :) She kept going on and on about how "good" the babies are looking. Made me smile, proud mommy already!! After she looked around and listened to the heart beats she circled back around to measure their fluids. When she got back to Eli, he had moved. She was absolutely amazed that number one, he had enough room to flip (becoming breached) anyway... but then he had scooted himself over to my left in a matter of minutes :) She says that all the fluids are completely normal...though it's hard to measure them at this point because the babies are so active! She says it's pretty much like putting three little kids in a kiddie pool and watching them splash around. She did spend quite a while on each baby to ensure that there is plenty of fluid where it should be, and from what she could tell it all looked good!
After the ultrasound was finished...we waited. And waited...and then waited some more. I hate complaining... but I was SO tired and worn out by the time I got home... I just crashed. I waited from 3:30 until 4:45 to see Dr.M. He was the only doctor in the office yesterday, and he had been on call until 3pm. Whew. My appointment with him was 3:30-3:45. We FINALLY got called back, and I crashed on the exam table until Dr.M came in. He measured me (though didn't say anything....haha) and then gave a shot at listening to their heart rates. Which he picked up on the first time! :) He's the only one that has been able to do that so far. Impressive!
He told me that he wasn't sure if MY doctor's had talked to me about it, but HE was telling me that my most active days should be when I go to the doctor. Well duh! I told him that my life consists of laying on the couch, and going to the bathroom... with a shower once a day. :) He said to continue to do what I'm doing, because apparently I am doing something right! 30 weeks...he was very impressed with that, and agreed that I probably had a 50/50 chance of making it to 34 weeks. He continued to tell me how well I was doing, and that they had a set of twins at the hospital that were born before 30 weeks...so the fact that I've made it this far is amazing.
We also found out that my c-section IS in fact scheduled for August 3rd at 10:53am (random!). So...now it's just a waiting game. We'll see if I make it that far, which honestly... I don't think that I will be making it to that point. Only time will tell.
We have a growth scan at the prenatal center tomorrow at one, and we are praying praying praying that we have three pound babies in there! At least the boys...we figure that Elliana will more than likely still be behind her brothers, but we continue to pray!
Will update again soon...
Oh, and word to the wise...don't schedule a doctor's appointment for the day after a holiday!! We checked out about 45 minutes after the office is supposed to close. :)

tomorrow....

Ugh. 24 hour urine collection. Really? I had to start the collection this morning, and let me just say... I think I will be surprising the lab tech at Dr.G's office. I asked Dr.G what happens if I fill up the jug, and he said that I could ask S for two.
Clif mentioned it to her as she was giving me instructions for the testing, and she gave me two :) Saying that she had only ever seen ONE person fill up more than one, and it was a man with prostrate problems. Greeeeaat. Ha! It's not quite 1:00, and I have filled up half a jug! I'm not even kidding...it's gross, but this is ridiculous. I knew that I was going often, but that doesn't even begin to cover it. I'm using one of those plastic tumbler things to collect it in, and then I have to dump it into the jug. In all seriousness... there hasn't been a time that I've been the the bathroom that I haven't filled up the tumbler 3/4 of the way.
Okay... I know, gross... moving on. Bleh.
So I go to Dr.G's office tomorrow to drop off my jug(s), to get an ultrasound, and for an office visit with Dr.M. I'm looking forward to being able to see the babies again... considering I wouldn't have been able to check on them until this coming up Thursday. However, my anxiety is up a bit because I'm going without Clif. This will be the first appointment (during this pregnancy) that Clif has not gone with me. And I don't like it. Not one bit. :( We always schedule our appointments around his work schedule, BUT, this time...we had to schedule around the urine collection. Puke. That's what I feel like doing anyway.
I know that it'll be okay. God is in control, and He will be there with me through the whole thing. And so will my mom. But it's not the same.
My anxiety levels always shoot up when I get an ultrasound anyways. Even if the babies are going NUTS before hand, dark rooms...belly jelly and ultrasound wands always bring back horrific memories of the morning of November 13th. No heartbeat. Whew... yeah, not looking forward to this adventure without my hubby. :*(
Clif's cousin, wife & little boy are in from Texas this week. It's kinda sad because we don't see them often... in fact, the last time we saw them was when I was like 4 weeks pregnant with Lilly. And because of bed rest...we won't really get to spend much time with them :( They did come see us yesterday morning...it was so nice seeing them!! We will probably get to see them once or twice more before they head back.
The cousin's wife, K, freaked Clif out. :) All day Saturday and part of the day yesterday, the babies were going crazy. Actually... over the last week, they have become a lot more active. Like to the point where you can see my belly jiggling at almost any given time. K was talking about how weird it was going to be when "quickening" started. :) Clif was like, what's that??? She explained that it's when the babies start to get really active, because they are preparing to come out! He's mentioned it several times since then. Needless to say, he thinks that the 3 E's are "quickening". Oh boy.
It's a pretty full week this week... at least for someone that's on bed rest. Today my mom is over organizing my room, rearranging furniture, and doing laundry. Trying to get everything ready for babies!! We've got to get everything straight so that we can move the portable crib that we got for our room. :) Fun stuff.
Clif is working all day :( And tonight, we are having all our family over for a cook out... which I will be enjoying from my couch.
Tomorrow is my appointment with Dr.M & an ultrasound, Wednesday is pretty free (I think)...oh, and I think that Clif is going to try his hand at my baked ziti, not to mention that I will officially hit the 30 week mark!! Thursday is another appointment at the prenatal center...and then Clif has to work all weekend. :(  Boo! At least it's day shift!
I'll be sure to update after our appointments this week... hopefully there won't be much change to report other than baby growth! And a good report on my protein clearance thingie.
A quick prayer request, and I will close. The brother of one of our friends was involved in a hit & run accident last night and has been in surgery for hours. I am told that it's not life threatening injuries... but it's definitely life changing. :( Please pray for him, and his family.
Happy Independence Day!!!

29 week belly shot

Almost there!! Just a few more weeks. Three weeks four days, at most!! Cannot wait to meet our Three Little E's. SOOOOO in love with them already!

i surrender...

I surrender all...I surrender all...all to Jesus, I surrender... I surrender ALL

Today has been...a day.



It actually started out last night when I checked my blood pressure and it was higher than usual. It really worried me, to the point that I almost called the doctor on call. :) But I refrained. Of course, as long as I was laying/resting it was more than perfect. Plus we had an appointment with Dr.G this morning.

We arrived and were almost immediately called back for weight,blood pressure & urine collection. I guess that's where it started because I didn't get a chance to sit and rest like I normally do. Clif had offered to drop me off at the door, but me being me insisted that I walk, which...really, it's not a long walk. But you've gotta realize that I've been on the couch for WEEKS with hardly ANY exercise.

My blood pressure was of course high. It normally is, well... not high, but "borderline" as they call it. Well today it was still "borderline"... but it made me uncomfortable. I was already having and off day because of the high readings last night, plus... I just felt weepy. By the way, I gained two pounds :)

My nurse came to get us soon after blood pressure was taken, and she always makes me feel better. I expressed my concern to her about my blood pressure from last night & this morning. She really didn't act like it was a huge deal...saying that they were used to high readings at the office.

I told her that it's not just my blood pressure... but I'm just a few days shy of being 30 weeks pregnant (with triplets!), and that my anxiety levels have been rising by the day. I won't lie... I think about things, a lot. But...how could I not? When the Three Little E's are napping, I wonder...are they okay? When my blood pressure goes up I worry... am I effecting their fluid? It truly is a constant battle to keep from losing it.

Be still my soul, the Lord is on your side...

I think of the things that must have happened during the days that led up to Lilly's passing. I think about things that happened within my body that I was never even aware of. And it doesn't help that I'm reminded at every single doctor's appointment about my loss.

Today's appointment with Dr.G went well, as most of our appointments have thus far. I was telling Clif before we were called back that I was anxious because I knew that we wouldn't be getting an ultrasound today... and our next one is not scheduled until next Thursday. I was worried about the babies, about their growth...the fluid levels.

When Dr.G came in the room, he said that we didn't have an ultrasound scheduled... but he was going to hijack T's exam room so that we could have one :) He actually did it himself, which, was pretty comical. It took him a while to figure out how to turn the machine on, and then he couldn't figure out which wand to use. Too funny. As soon as he told me what we were doing, he asked if i was okay with that. He just is really cautious about looking for the heart beats with the doppler (which is fine with me!). I told him how much better that would make me feel. It's like he read my mind.

It was pretty cool because, though we didn't hear our babies heart beats today...we saw them. And Dr.G, just by watching them could tell what their heart rate's were (okay, I know it's not that big of a deal... but it was cool).

We asked about the fluids, and he responded with, "well...they look a little lower..." I freaked out. My mind started racing (and Clif's too)... I was ready to tell the doctor that I knew what the risks were delivering this early, but I wanted to go to the hospital ASAP. :) He then went on to explain that as the babies get bigger...it's normal for the fluids to get lower. Which, after thinking about it... it makes sense. He reassured us that the fluids were normal, and showed us several pockets around each baby. Clif and I both asked him several times if it was normal, and if there was anything to be concerned about. And again, he assured us that it was normal.

Clif told him that I was worried about my next ultrasound being so far away (okay, only a week... but still). He asked if it would make me a little more at ease if when I brought in my urine collection (oh yes, 24 hour urine collection starts Monday morning...fun stuff!) on Tuesday, if I had an ultrasound to check on them. I could have kissed him on the mouth. I told him that would make me feel SOOOO much better.

He also explained to us that with the advanced equipment at the prenatal center, that they would be able to predict problems with my fluids & placentas before they occurred (in most cases). We are so praying that Dr.D wants to start seeing me twice a week starting after this coming up week!

I also expressed my concern about my blood pressure with Dr.G today, and we all agreed that instead of STOPPING the medication that we actually add another pill. Because of my "being so big" (yes, he said that)... the anxiety, and my blood pressure in general... it would be best to take the precaution.

Our C-section is scheduled for August 3rd, or at least we are assuming so. We weren't told a date or time... but then again, it's a good ways away. Dr.G also told me that I have a 50/50 chance of actually MAKING it to my scheduled c-section date. After reviewing the babies "score cards" from Tuesday, he says that Eli might be growing at a faster pace than Easton & Elliana. Which, I don't know about that... the boys are measuring pretty much the same. Easton actually weighs more. I explained that it had to do with the practice breathing, which he already knew. Again, he told us how their birth day could weigh on several different things. So we will see.

Two appointments this coming up week. One on Tuesday at Dr.G's office, but I'm seeing Dr.M. And then one at the PDC with Dr.D (not sure which one yet).

As for the random lyrics scattered throughout...today after the appointment, though we had a good report... I was still very anxious. Stressed. Whatever. Clif had to run in the grocery store, so I sat in the car and listened to Selah Hymns... and I don't know, it calmed me. I felt better. :)

"I surrender all" has been stuck in my head all day. And I am going to give it my darnedest to surrender everything daily until these little ones get here.

He has a plan for these babies... and nothing that I (or any of my doctors) do can change the course of that plan. They are in His hands.

I have one request, and then I will close. Please say a prayer for a friend, A, who had a routine prenatal appointment today (@16 weeks). They were not able to find a heart beat, and she eventually found out that their baby had passed away in the last 48 hours. The first words that come to mind are, "I can't imagine". But I can... and I hate that A and her husband are having to endure this pain. Please pray for them as they face the decisions (and days) ahead.