Wednesday, October 20, 2010

rain rain go away...

Today is one of those "blah" days. It's raining outside, it's freezing outside and in. It's just one of those days that I feel like going home, getting back in bed, and pulling the covers over my head.

I had a new feeling yesterday. One that I haven't experienced before - or if I have, it hasn't been for a really long time.

I was sitting at the drive thru at work...watching people going by. And a girl walked by carrying a baby car seat with a little boy inside. This baby was newborn. Couldn't be more than a few weeks old. You see, she works in the same building as me, but not for the same company. I've watched her waddle by the bank for MONTHS.

The feeling you ask? It wasn't jealousy...it was something different. When I saw her walking by with her little baby... I couldn't help but think about all the days I watched her walking by, all happy and pregnant...and now I'm seeing her walk by with her perfectly healthy baby boy.

It's hard not to ask God, why not me?? Why could I have had a perfectly healthy baby girl...why couldn't I take her home? Why couldn't I be walking out of the bank, after hours of showing off my little bundle to my coworkers? Why not me??

That was rough - and it hit me out of nowhere.

Another thing...remember Rick & Darla that I asked prayer for a few days back?? She is showing some improvement. Well, it's more like one step forward, two steps back. Check out Rick's sister's blog by clicking ::here::

I read something there today that really touched my heart. It is such a Rick thing to do. He learned of a baby that was recently born, and struggling. He asked his children if they were praying for others as they would want others to pray for their mom. Since learning of this little baby that's struggling, he has asked his children to pray for the baby before they pray for their mama. How touching and selfless is that??

Bleh...I just have so much on my heart today -  I can't get it out. :)

4 comments:

Alissa said...

Hugs to you, hun. Wish you had Lilly with you too. <3

Courtney said...

The weather is gloomy and rainy here as well, fits my mood perfectly.

*hugs* my dear friend

Jessica said...

I wish you had Lilly, I wish I had Riley & Peyton, I wish we all had our babies and that BLM was not a regular term in my vocabulary these days... as they say "if wishes were horses, beggars would ride"... Your friends story is very touching so sad that coupled with a miscarriage they have more grief to bear... I pray God brings so peace to your heart... it's raining here too I figure heaven's crying for me tonight... Much love to you momma! <3

Betty said...

Thanks for the update on Darla. That story breaks my heart. I'm sorry today was rough for you...I've been having a few of those myself recently too.

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