Monday, September 20, 2010

copy cat. **warning: this may be a bit childish**

A year (or so) ago...I was talking with my mom. More like, complaining to my mom.

I was expressing my frustration about being "copied". Okay, I know... I sound like I'm five. Oh well.

We were talking about things that I specifically put into place for mine and Clif's wedding day. Special things just for us. That were copied. Random things in my life...that were copied. Things in my pregnancy, shadowed almost exactly...aka: copied.

I was getting sick (and tired) of I was confiding in Mom. She told me that I should feel "honored" that ___ was striving to be like me. I told her, I don't want this person to be like me...I don't want anyone to be like me. I want to be my own person!!!

And I do.

I strive at being my own person. I don't want to be like anyone else, and I certainly don't want anyone going out of their way to make themselves identical to me. I'm sure you can be your own self...just dig a little deeper, and I'm sure that there is a great personality waiting to come out and show itself.

I came across something else that was being "copied" recently. Something dear to my heart. Something to do with my Lilly Bean. It really bothered me....still does, kinda.

For once in my life, I just want one thing. Can't I have this one?? Can't I just win one thing??

If there was one thing that I could ask for (other than my baby girl being back here with me), it would be that I could go back to the "one of a kind" girl I was 5 1/2 years ago. :)


croleyc69 said...



Lori said...

I'm sorry...we have so few things that are ours and unique as it is....

Desiree said...

I am sorry you are feeling this way. Just another perspective, but maybe some of the things that you find so personal to you are coincidentally personal to others. For instance, I have heard others call their babies _____ Bean. Just don't want you to internalize hurtful things that weren't ever meant to hurt or copy you. I just went and looked at your pictures and Lilly is absolutely beautiful.

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

I know that I'm not the only one that has ever referred to their child as "bean". But this particular person KNOWS what this nick name means to me. I believe that it was used as a spiteful stab at me. :) but thanks for the perspective. Also, thanks for your kind words about my precious Lilly! Nice name, btw! lol

Desiree said...

Thanks. lol. I don't know anyone IRL with our name!

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