Monday, February 15, 2010

~ Ten Commandments for Family and Friends ~

so my friend "A" found this and sent it to me, and thought it might be helpful to others...

10 Commandments (for Family and Friends)

Thou shalt NOT refer to our baby as 'it' or in any way imply that our child was not a real person.

Thou shalt take the initiative to seek us out. We are grieving and often cannot make the effort.

Thou shalt let us know that you care. If you don't know what to say, just tell us you love us and
hurt with us. A simple "I'm sorry" is better than silence.

Thou shalt NOT avoid us. We feel so alone. Even though you may feel uncomfortable around us,
we need your friendship.

Thou shalt give us a lot of hugs. A hug says more than words ever could.

Thou shalt be patient with us. Grieving is hard work and takes time.

Thou shalt NOT assume that another child will ever be able to replace this baby.

Thou shalt give us permission to grieve. Don't expect us 'just get over it'.

Thou shalt NOT tell us that the death of our baby is 'all for the best'.

Thou shalt NOT tell us that it was better that we 'didn't have a chance to get attached'. We love our baby and would have given anything to have had just one day with him/her.


Trennia said...

All this is so true...(((HUGS)))

croleyc69 said...

Thanx for sharing that and I have read it before but so nice to see it again. I almost have your gift finished. Can't wait to get it in the mail, to YOU !!!

Em said...


Trennia said...

Thank you did this post when I needed it stepdaughter keeps telling me stuff that is so hurtful...I sent this to her...because she acts like our little girl didn't matter...thank you.

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

thanks ladies!! i posted it on my facebook...and i think that it really has helped some of my friends understand how to act around me.
looking forward to the gift caroline!!! :-)
God bless you ladies!!! xoxox

Holly said...

I really like these commandments!

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