the beginning...

This is a story about my journey to motherhood. My husband (Clif) and I found out on March 5th, 2009 that we were going to be parents. Some five months later we were told that we were going to have a daughter, a baby girl. And we named her that very day... Lillian Joy Smith. She was due November 9th. She was "born" on November 13th,2009.
Lilly was "stillborn". This is her story...


So,Clif and I married in June of 2007. In April of 2008, when it was time for me to go for my yearly doctors appointment, we decided that we thought it was time to have a baby. Though we hadn't been married for long, a baby had been a desire of both of our hearts for quite some time.
We tried to conceive from April until September with no luck. So finally a friend suggested a doctor to me, and I made an appointment to see what could be done about speeding up the process. As soon as I met the doctor, I absolutely loved him. I knew from the get go, that he really did care about my best interest... and that he would do everything in his power to help me fulfill our dream. So, after my first appointment, Dr.G decided to put me on Clomid, a fertility drug.
I was on this medication October through January. Clif and I conceived our first child in February 2009. I can't even begin to express the joy that filled our hearts the night that we had our first positive pregnancy test.
Clif had been at school, I had been at church. We were leaving for our week long vacation in Texas the next afternoon. He got out of school early that night and arrived at our house about the same time as I did.I had been to the doctor that day, and they had drawn blood so that if the test came back negative, I could get my next round of medications before we left for Texas.
As we were packing some last minute things for our trip, I decided to take a left over pregnancy test...just for kicks. As long as I live, I will never forget the moment that I picked up the pregnancy test after waiting the few minutes you're supposed to. I caught Clif's eyes in the mirror, and at that moment we both knew that in less than nine months, we were going to be "mommy and daddy". Little did we know what God had in store for us.
When I talked to my nurse the next day, she confirmed what we already knew. I was pregnant. Two weeks, to be exact. Most people don't find out they are pregnant until at least one month, but Clif and I were so blessed by finding out early on. I am so thankful for that fact, because we were able to take extra careful measures on our 16 hour road trip to Texas to visit family.
I had an amazing pregnancy, right up until the end. I had no morning sickness, and only suffered with an upset tummy for about a month. I never threw up once during the ten months that Lilly and I spent together.I gained forty pounds over the ten months, which isn't bad for your first pregnancy and for being on bed rest for a month and a half. The only complaint that I had was lower back pain and heartburn (which was explained when I saw her head full of dark brown hair).
Everything went so well until my eighth month of pregnancy...when I started having problems with my blood pressure being high.