Thursday, January 28, 2010

it could be...worse?

So I've been thinking...as bad as my situation is, and as much as it hurts...and as much as I don't want to go on with life (sometimes). IT COULD BE WORSE.
I mean...I don't think I would be doing as well as I am if Lilly had been born alive, and then died shortly thereafter. There are so many "ifs" that would have absolutely destroyed me. I just know it.
But here we are...Clif and I are alive and healthy. God gave us a beautiful little girl, even though it was only for a few short months. We are thankful, we are blessed beyond measure. And if God allows, our family will grow in one way or another.
I have read so many stories of other women who have gone through similar tragedies. Some of them, much "worse" than my own. I have read of women who have lost their babies early in pregnancy, late in pregnancy, and just kept on trying. Many have lost multiple babies, and are still pressing on!! These women are SO strong... very amazing women. And such an inspiration to me!! I've made several "blog gal pal's"... and I am so happy that I have.
Thanks to all of you that read my blog, thank you for reading...praying...and for encouraging me in my time of pain. Y'all are the best!!!!
We are on the journey of TTC again...not really trying hard, but trying just the same. I don't want to wait...I think I will become to freaked out by it all, afraid that I will lost another baby. But I have faith...faith in my God...faith that He will bless us in HIS time.
God bless you all. I'll leave you with a saying that I saw on someone elses blog (yes I stole it... lol and I don't remember who from, so if you're reading this...thanks!!)

~ One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks ~

7 comments:

Holly said...

Have you ever heard that thing where if people had to chose what to go through they would pick their own? It's something I remember reading about but I can't remember it very clearly. Other people's tragedies seem worse than our own and we don't think that we could deal with what they went through.

I'm glad you are making new bloggy friends. They are all really great!!

Trennia said...

I see Lil'y beautiful picture on the side...she is so precious.That is so sweet to have her little clothes,picture & candle its just so beautifully placed...I have numberous pictures of Emily in my bedroom so I can see her picture when I fall to sleep and when I awake there is her sweet face.I see you like willows too! Wow! I have several...I like the way they have no expression so you can imagine to yourself how you want them to look...love the tatoo too!
Praying for you & your hubby that God will bless you both with a child (in His time)..keep us updated I would love to follow you through a blessing (rainbow baby) from the Lord..as I didn't know you with Lily, but she & my daughter has brought us together...they are friends in heaven I'm sure!Praying for you my friend...so glad your meeting blogging friends!

Trennia said...

I see Lil'y beautiful picture on the side...she is so precious.That is so sweet to have her little clothes,picture & candle its just so beautifully placed...I have numberous pictures of Emily in my bedroom so I can see her picture when I fall to sleep and when I awake there is her sweet face.I see you like willows too! Wow! I have several...I like the way they have no expression so you can imagine to yourself how you want them to look...love the tatoo too!
Praying for you & your hubby that God will bless you both with a child (in His time)..keep us updated I would love to follow you through a blessing (rainbow baby) from the Lord..as I didn't know you with Lily, but she & my daughter has brought us together...they are friends in heaven I'm sure!Praying for you my friend...so glad your meeting blogging friends!

Suzie said...

I am glad to have found you as well. I hope you find peace and comfort in your blog. I know it worked wonders for me. You Lillian is so precious. Thank you for sharing the pictures of her. Absolutely breath-taking.

Thinking of you and praying for you.

Suzie

LovinT said...

Desi.... I really do look up to you and admire(i dont like that word but I can't think of the one I want) how you handle everything thats been thrown your way.... From bedrest to Lilly's graduation to some peoples reactions... T and R...(to be specific) and sooo much more. I know that you are relying heavily on God but I also know that He gave you the core strength to get through this... yes even the days where it seems that you absolutly can't go any further. I love you my desilove. Thank you for being you. Thank you too for being my only blog follower ;-) you are the BEST!

Em said...

I'm glad for my bloggy friends too. I hope you have a healthy, happy rainbow baby soon!

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

thanks to you all for your sweet comments! =) especially about my beautiful baby!! I am so proud to be her mommy.
thanks for all the prayers for our very own rainbow baby... i can't wait!

love ,
Des

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