Friday, January 22, 2010

Life lately...

It hasn't been great, but it hasn't been too bad either. We have more good days than bad, thank the Lord. But it's still been hard. Just learning how to live with the grief from day to day, learning how to live without her. But as I have said before, God has bigger plans for us...though we don't know those plans now. I truly believe that He has big things for us!!
I know that some of you want to ask questions...and I want you to know that it's okay! Really. The answers may bring some emotions tumbling with them, but I'm okay with that.
Yes, Clif and I plan on having more children...as long as God allows. I don't know when...but I do know that we want more. That's a longing that has taken a place in both of our hearts, being parents. Though, we ARE parents... we both long to have a child here on earth.
I started back to work on the 11th of this month. For the most part, it's been okay. Of course, I've a million of "I'm sorry", "Is there anything I can do for you", "been thinking about you", "been praying for you".And that's been pretty easy to swallow. I've ran into one customer so far that did NOT know about Lilly's passing. I was sitting in my chair, so belly was hid under the desk, and he asked me how much longer I had. Ha! Guess he didn't notice that I had been gone for three months! Oh well, I told him that we had lost her...and he wanted to ask all kinds of questions. And of course I cried. But I am sure that the poor old man felt a whole lot worse that me.
This week has been good...long but good. Funny how we had a holiday on Monday, so we were off... yet I still feel like this week has been drawn out.
Please be in prayer for Clif and me. Our very good friends had their baby a few days ago. We are so happy that everything went well, and that Mommy and Baby are okay. It's just going to be very hard for Clif and me...especially me. This friend of mine was like ten weeks behind me during our pregnancies. I experienced (for the most part) everything first. And now I'm finished, and she's just beginning. That's rough. But it's also life. Just please pray that God may continue to heal my heart so that I can continue my friendship. It will be tough being around her and her little one, but I pray that God may do what I need done in my life to handle the pain. *smile* I'm so happy for them.
God is good...all the time.

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