Wednesday, January 27, 2010

well...Virginia does have some decency left!?!

Well, I was reading random blogs the other day...and I saw a post about something called: Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth. So I researched it, finding out that only certain states offer this.
So I went to Virginia Department of Health website and found out that Virginia offers this certificate. YAY!!! All I have to do is send a letter requesting it, with Lilly's name,my name, Clif's name, the day she was born, and the hospital she was born in. A copy of my DL, and a check for $12.00.
I can't tell you how happy it makes me to know that Virginia is actually going to recognize that my baby existed. No, they are not going to recognize that she did live (inside me), but at least the are going to say...hey! Lillian Joy Smith was a human being!
Since on the subject, well kind of... I just want to tell you all about my hospital. RMH. Absolutely amazing people there. First off, they were all SO sweet, even before we found out that Lilly had passed. Then after the fact, they didn't change at all in the way they acted toward Clif and me. Which really mean a lot. They treated with the utmost respect... and honored my baby in every possible way.
As I have said before, I decided to have a c-section when I found out that Lilly was gone (which by the way, I have healed really really well...now just waiting to get the pigment back so my scar isn't bright pink anymore. =) After Lillian was born, they took her to the nursery to bathe her. We had decided we didn't want to see her right away, which worked out good anyways, because I was OUT cold the whole entire surgery. They brushed her hair, put a diaper on her...and dressed her in her "Little Dolly" dress that was a gift from my parents. When she came to my room, she looked amazing...still had color in her cheeks. Beautiful...absolutely beautiful.
Before bringing her to my room, they put her in the white tshirt and hat that I guess is pretty much what every hospital does. They took pictures, anywhere from 60-65 picture of her in her tshirt, in her dress...pictures of her wearing a gold ring that they gave her, pictures of her holding daddy's wedding band (I didn't have mine...I had to take them off because of swelling LONG before then). Pictures of her with stuffed animals...ect. They took a clipping of her beautiful brown hair...they made a "birth certificate" complete with her name, our names, her time of birth, weight, length...and her footprints. Since she was born "sleeping" we didn't get a real birth certificate or death certificate. So that really meant a lot to me. They also made us a disc of all the pictures they took of her, gave me a certificate of blessing...even made some prints of pictures for us. They put it all in a white cloth envelope/bag and gave it to us a few hours after she was born.
I had nurses that visited me that weren't even my nurses. They all hugged me, cried with me... and the one thing they all kept telling me was that my baby was beautiful. Exactly what every mother wants to hear!!
Now, my doctor. I am sure that I have mentioned him before (at least I think so), but I just can't talk about him enough. So here goes....
Dr.G. He is absolutely AMAZING. A wonderful man, and an even better doctor. Yes, we might could have made different decisions during my pregnancy, but I think it would have all ended in the same way. So I don't blame him in the least. I can't even begin to express to you how Doctor G felt. I mean, I don't even know how he felt exactly...but I know he blamed himself. When he told us what we already knew, that there wasn't a heartbeat, he sobbed (literally) right along with us.
He made up excuses to come see me in recovery (said he had to come get his coat....when he came down wearing it...haha), and just made up other excuses just to come and check on me. *smile* He came to the hospital to check in on me every day that I was there, and he spent no less than 20-30 minutes each time.
The day after I had my staples removed, he called my hubby to check on me. How many doctors do you know that actually make calls themselves? Especially when the patient didn't call him. Dr G told me before I left the hospital that he was in the local phone book, and that he was the only one in there that spelled his name the way he does. And if I needed him, to call day or night.
He kept telling me over and over again that he was so sorry, and that he would watch me better the next time. Take me out of work sooner, put me on meds for my blood pressure, and that no matter what...the next time, the baby would be born at 38 weeks...at the latest.
Just to know that he cares for Clif and me...that he really,truly, genuinely cares for us...means SO much! And I have to add that Dr G told me after Lilly was born, that in all honesty most babies are not cute by a long stretch...at least when they are first born. But he told me that Lilly was truly a beautiful baby! *big grin* We did good.
Until I became pregnant...I had been to the doctor maybe 5-8 times in my whole life. I've never been sick, never even had an ear infection when I was little!!! And now, this may sound crazy, but I'm sad that I'm not going to the doctor ever 1,2,4 weeks. *laughs* Is that weird? And I don't say that because I am sad that I'm not pregnant (tho I do miss being preggo like crazy), but because I don't get to see my doctor! I wish he was my family practitioner too! =) That's how much I think of this man. I would recommend him to any female I know. He truly is a gift from God, for at least Clif and I.
I am so looking forward to the middle of March when I get to go and see him again, and start back all of my meds. Again, I know...sounds crazy. But I am very excited.
I am so amazed that before Lilly was even conceived that God already knew the path that her life would be one. And what a wonderful path, right out of Mommy's tummy....straight into the arms of her loving Saviour.

~ God is good all the time, all the time God is good ~

16 comments:

Em said...

I'm not really sure how I found your blog...

I am so sorry for your loss! I think that is great that you will get a Certificate of Birth. How great to know that others acknowledge your sweet Lilly! {{{hugs}}}

I lost my Lilly last July. I have nothing but ultrasound pictures to acknowledge her existence.

By the way, you have great taste in little girls names! :)

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

Hi Em, Thanks so much for your comment. I am so sorry to hear about your Lilly as well. ;-) and it seems like we both have great taste in little girls names!!! :-) i'm not sure how you found my blog either, but i'm so glad that you did. I can always use the friendship (even if it is over blogging) of another mother who has heartaches like mine. So sorry that we had to "meet" under these circumstances. If you would like to e-mail me, my e-mail address is:

clif_n_des_06.02.07@hotmail.com

God bless you and your family, and your newest little one.

Desiree

JenJen said...

I think you may have seen this CBRS on my blog~ I got the form in the mail yesterday on getting one for my Lily (all 3 of us have good taste in girl names!)...I did the form last night and will be putting it in the mail today...

Glad that you will be getting one, too!

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

ah yes, I believe it was your blog! *smiles* gotta love our "lilly's!!!"

Trennia said...

I'm so glad your getting sweet comments and look at all those followers already! Keep tellin us about your sweet Lilly...and life.

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

I am so thankful for all of the blog friends that I have made. :-) you ALL are an amazing group of ladies. And you've helped me so much already. God bless you all.

Holly said...

I'm glad that you will be able to get a certificate of stillbirth. I was so happy to get mine. You had an amazing doctor taking care of you. He's definitely a keeper!!!

Annie said...

Just found your blog. So glad you were able to get a certificate of stillbirth! It helps to have your child acknowledged as a person. One of my two lost babies was acknowleged with a certificate of stillbirth, and the other was not because he was 9 days short of being human according to the state. But I know he is as much a person as any of us.

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

hi annie, thanks for the comment. it was really nice to have the state acknowledge my baby. :-) thanks for sharing your story, God bless.

Emily said...

I know it was amazing to me when I found out Maryland did give certificate of birth resulting in a stillbirth. Even yet, when I contacted the health dept they already knew about Gabriel. It blew me away. I am so glad to have this certificate. Just another something to prove that he is not and was not a figment of my imagination. ((hugs)) to you. Thanks for your comment on my stepping stones blog

Em said...

Hi, I'm back. I don't think I saw Lilly's picture when I last visited. She is absolutely gorgeous! What a perfect, beautiful baby! I wish I would have been able to see my Lilly. Oh well. I can wait for Heaven.

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

thanks Em. She was a beauty, wasn't she?? haha looked justlike me when I was a baby...with her daddys lips and big ole feet! ha! i am so sorry that you didn't get the chance to see your Lilly, but just think about that day in Heaven when you meet that little girl for the very first tim face to face. oh what a day!!!

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

thanks Em. She was a beauty, wasn't she?? haha looked justlike me when I was a baby...with her daddys lips and big ole feet! ha! i am so sorry that you didn't get the chance to see your Lilly, but just think about that day in Heaven when you meet that little girl for the very first tim face to face. oh what a day!!!

Yaya said...

Wow. I am so sorry for your loss. :(

that sounds like an amazing hospital.

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

Thanks, I appreciate it. And RMH is an AMAZING hospital. =)

Lori said...

Your experience with your hospital and doctor sounds a lot like mine. I am so, so, so thankful to God for the people who were put in our lives during all of this. My perinatologist FOUND me on Facebook the day after he heard from my OB (I had just seen him a week before!) and called me every day for about 2 weeks. He still sends FB comments and is waiting for me to call and say we are having a brother or sister. Our hospital was amazing too. What blessings, right?

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