Saturday, July 17, 2010

this is my life...live your own!

Okay...tonight is a rant and rave kinda night. So bare with me please :) There is this person. I like this person. I even love this person. But this person drives me crazy. Possibly worse than any other person has ever driven me crazy. (And no, it's not my husband! hehe)

It seems as every time I "play nice" I get burned over and over again. And frankly, I'm done with it. I don't need the extra drama in my life. It's just not worth it right now.

I feel as if this person says and does things just to see what kind of reaction they can get out of me... and I hate feeling like that. I wish I could tell this person that they shouldn't live their life for me...that they should live it for themselves.

Everything that I do, it's like this person has to do it better. Like I'm in constant competition. And I don't want it to be like this.

Can't I have just one thing that's mine? Can't I do one thing without this person trying to do it better?? Let me have my life...live your own!!

*sigh* I don't want to go into detail about any of it, not even who the person is. I don't know if they would read this or not, and I don't want to give anyone a bad rep. :) This is my place to share my feelings...and that's just what I'm doing tonight. I'm complaining...and sharing my feelings, in a round about way.

I've known this person for what seems like forever, and I don't want to hurt them... but enough is enough. This person can continue to try and mimic my life, I don't care anymore. I like being myself, not someone else. I would think that this person would want their own life as well. Their own unique ideas, and life choices. But if they are not capable of doing so on their own, then I guess I will just have to deal with it. There is nothing that I can do to change it, so I am choosing to ignore it from here on out.

So, that's it. They want to get a rise out of me? They won't. This person thinks that they can cut me down with their words? It's not going to work. They want to be me? Go ahead...you're crazy for it, but whatever! ha! Think that you can make me hate you because of your actions? Not even close. Wanna know why?? Because I'm bigger than that. And I don't believe that God would want me to have bad feelings towards this person. So I chose to close the door on this relationship, at least for now.

Ah. I feel a little better now. Sorry for being so vague, but I just had to blow off a little steam before I said some mean things that I would regret later.

Please pray that I would keep the right, Christ honoring attitude towards this person. And that God may lay it on their heart not to try and mirror their life after mine (who would want my life?) but that they may want to live their own.

6 comments:

Trennia said...

I hear ya

Lucid Anne said...

I bet that felt good to get off your chest. : )

I had to let a friend of mine go (sounds like I fired her.) because I finally realized she was adding nothing but negativity to my life. And I feel SO much better for it.

croleyc69 said...

Praying

Caroline

Kristy said...

They want your life because you are a great person! You have led a great life so far! You have strength that not a lot of people can possess. This person is just jealous of what they can not have. If they are upset with their life then they need to change it themselves. Mimicing (sp) your life is just a cop out! Just keep doing what you do! I wouldnt give it a second thought. Love you! Btw this is Kristy in case it doesnt show up :)

Lori said...

Keeping you lifted!

Holly said...

I think the choice your making regarding this person is a good one. You don't need that stress/drama!!

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