Thursday, July 8, 2010

dream with a hint of nightmare.

I had a dream. A really bad one. It was weird though, even though it was was slightly comforting.

It was the day Lilly died and we brought her home. She still died in the dream, and I relived all of that. But we took her home with us. Which oddly enough, in real life the hospital said that we could have taken her with us. I think that would have been disrespectful.

Anyways...I won't go into detail about the dream because several aspects of it were just right down disturbing. But I woke up sad,depressed,angry, heartbroken with a tinge of happy. It was one of the weirdest feelings I've had in a long time.

Will it ever stop? The 13th of this month will be eight months since she died. That's almost long enough to carry & birth a second baby. But I'm not. My womb is still empty, right along with my heart.


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry sweetie. I have had my share of dreams surrounding those that have left this earth and when I wake, I feel completed torn, ripped, shattered, etc and struggle to get through the day. I hope you feel better soon.

croleyc69 said...

{{{HUGS}}} and I'm prayin 4 you.


Trennia said...

Took a break from fixing our plumbing troubles and saw this.
Honey, I don't think none of it ever stops.I dreamed a few horrible ones myself,and a few happy ones.I know how you feel your sad,hurt,and confussed but happy because for a moment she was in your arms again...I know (((HUGS)))

Paige said...

I had a similiar dream a few months after we lost tatum, she was still alive but sick in the hospital and we were watching her as she went. loved seeing her again, but reliving the pain was tough. You will find joy in your life in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.- proverbs 3:5

That corgi :) said...

hugs to you; praying.........


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