Thursday, May 6, 2010

Hi...my name is Desiree, I'm 22 years old. That's an adult.

I have tried to be adult about this. I've tried to be civil, and I have tried my darnedest to be Christ-like. But enough is enough. Let me just give you a quick sum up of what I will NOT do because I am upset with someone:

Because I am an adult I will not:

~I will not talk about you directly or indirectly...especially when I KNOW that you will know I'm talking about you. Unless you talk about me first, then it's fair game.
~I will not kick you off my blog because I have my panties in a wad. I think I got over this when I was like five.
~I will not block you from my facebook...again, we grew up like...what? 12 years ago?
~I will not say that I don't tell people about personal issues that we have with one another, and then turn around and say that you have had people praying with you on the subject. That's called contradiction.
~I won't ask my husband who has HAD a blog start posting about "stupid people" the night after we have a spat.
~I will not run to the first person who will listen when we do have an argument.
~And last but not least I will not try to steal your current friends right out from underneath you.

I'm a little upset. Can you tell? Let me expand a bit.

I am a Christian, and since strengthening my walk with God - I strive to be Christ-like. I try to treat people the way that I would want to be treated. I try to treat my friends with respect.
I am upset because a friend of mine has done the above list to me. I refuse to be angry, and I refuse to lash back in an non Christian manner. I will not stoop this low.
I will continue to pray for this person, and pray that one day God will restore the friendship that is constantly being ripped to shreds because of actions such as these.
I am thankful for everything the Lord has blessed me with. Everything. I am most thankful for my salvation, thankful for a wonderful, godly husband that leads me along, and thankful for the beautiful daughter that was given to me, and taken away.
I am thankful for the friends that He has blessed me with. The old, the new...all of them. And I am thankful for the friends that I can't physically be around right now. Just because my daughter died, and I can't be around you doesn't mean that I still don't love you beyond belief.
I'm sorry that there have been things that have happened that I cannot possibly control, and I am sorry that some people don't understand. But this is me. These are the cards that I have been dealt, and I am continually trying to learn how to make it through this life.
I have been faced with a lot in the last six months, and I would think that a friend would not understand it, but accept it. Support me, even if they are not able to be close.
I don't expect anyone to change their lives for me. That wouldn't be fair, and I never would ask. I enjoy hearing about what's going on with people who have been blessed with children, but some days I have a hard time swallowing it. Those are called "bad days", and in some shape or form...we all have those days.
No matter what, I will faithfully pray for this friend. Pray that God may touch their heart, soften it even...and that one day they will view me as a friend again.
But I can't lose sleep over this, I can't dwell on it. I will make myself sick, and dwelling on it would take time and attention off my walk. And I just can't do that. I wish it were different, but I won't beg.
I've tried explaining myself till I am blue in the face, now I just have to put it in His hands. Let go, and let God...

5 comments:

Trennia said...

I'm so sorry, you have more gentleness then me.I put it all out in the open,but the only reason is the person hides their name and that is the only way I can talk to them.Ugh I wish people would not treat other's so badly I'm sorry my friend you are going through this.You seem so sweet...and you've been through so much.(((HUGS)))

That corgi :) said...

I agree with what trennia said,that I too wish people wouldn't treat others so badly. they wouldn't like it if the roles were reversed; it seems to me you are trying to handle it the way God would want you to handle it

betty

elena said...

I'm so sorry that you were hurt by your friend. I think you are an awesome woman, to have endured what you have and to still have the grace to be as good a person you can be. Many would lash out at this person and you chose the higher road which is often at times difficult to do. So I commend you on your strength and kindness.

love and prayers
elena

Lori said...

Bless your heart!

I've often said (and know from experience!) that the high road is high for a reason...not just everyone can take it. So...good for you for striving to reach it, walk it and maintain it.

I will also pray for this person...and pray for your continued strength to handle it with grace and dignity. That speaks volumes more than your friend's behavior!
xoxo

Kristie said...

Desiree, i just wanted to tell you to have a blessed Mother's Day. I am thinking about you and little Lillian Joy. Sending love to you my friend.

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