Friday, May 21, 2010

awaiting my rainbow...

"Rainbow Baby" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.

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I am trying not to get down in the dumps, and most of the time I succeed. It's hard, but God is good...and He continues to help me along the way.

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Today is cycle day 14, and still no little eggie on the monitor. :( There are still a few days left that I could possibly ovulate, but who knows. Then again, because of the Clomid maybe I already have? I don't know. It's just frustrating.

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I just finished taking my second round of Clomid. I'm hopeful, but I am scared of getting my hopes crushed. Know what I mean?

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As I said before, I got pregnant with Lilly on my third round... 150mg. I was only on 100mg last week. :) We shall see.

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i want another baby...
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Not to replace her, not to take away the pain...but a baby to care for, a baby to shower my love upon.
I am broken, I am hopeful...and I am waiting. :)

10 comments:

Lori said...

Oh friend...waiting and praying with you!!! xoxo

AHB said...

I have been where you are unfortunately, and I know the pain of what you are growing through on every level..the infertility treatment route and on losing the baby route..It took me 2 1/2 years to get pregnant with our first, and I was taking all sorts of drugs..I can really sympathize with you...I am so sorry you have to go through any of this..Please just know that you are in my prayers..

That corgi :) said...

praying for you and trusting in God....

betty

croleyc69 said...

Praying for you always !!
{{HUGS}}

Caroline

Allyson Shockley said...

I wish there was some way I could help you, but prayers and love are all I have.... We're all here for you! <3

Kathi said...

I hope your little rainbow arrives soon

Holly said...

I hope that the little eggie shows up on the monitor in the next few days.

It's what most of us want-a baby to love and care for. And while we love our babies in Heaven so much we cannot physically care for them here. And as mothers that is something we long to do.

Trennia said...

praying...

elena said...

Thank you for the explanation of a "rainbow baby" as I kind of gathered what it meant but now I know for sure. Its like you read my mind. Wishing you the best and praying for you. *hug*

love
elena

Shannon said...

Desiree,
I ovulated on Clomid around Day 17 or 18.. NEVER day 14!! So, don't lose heart. Just enjoy your husband....and have fun!!! I know thats easy to say and harder to do, but try!!! :)

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