Monday, March 22, 2010

Drugged up, and worn OUT!

First of all, I just want to say a big thank you to all the ones that have said a prayer for me during these last few weeks. Going back to the doctor was emotional. going back to the pharmacy to pick up my medications to start all the way back at square one was HARD. And now taking the medications are interesting.
Dr G gave me Provera to start my cycles, just like before. But it's actually making me cramp this time. Weird. Three more days of that, then five days into my cycle I'll start taking my Clomid. =)
I know that this is going to be a bumpy, emotional ride... but I am trusting the Lord.
Please continue to pray with us that if it be God's will, that He might bless us once again, and quickly!!
This weekend was a blur. We were SO busy. Saturday morning Clif and I got up and went to Lowe's and Walmart to pick up paint, and a few random things to work on the house with. When we got home, we weren't really seeing eye to eye on a certain subject (lol) so I went driving, just to give us both a little time. =) I went to the cemetery and spent a while there...actually I was there for a long time. It was nice. I took flowers and put in Lilly's vase, took one of the butterflies from her bedroom wall and clipped to the vase as well. I sat there, had my cry out, and then spent some much needed time in prayer.
It was such a beautiful day, I just walked throughout the cemetery...shocked at how many new graves there were. It was sad. =( But I think the time was good for me.
I went back home after that, and man did we accomplish a LOT. We moved around furniture, I went through all of my clothes and came up with three huge garbage bags full of clothes for a yard sale that my family is having! Yesterday after church, Clif and our cousin JB primed three rooms, and last night Clif painted one. =) I now have our closet, bathroom, and bedroom spotless. Kitchen is coming along...and living room and spare bedroom is a WRECK! ha! It's just because all of the furniture has been shoved in there out of the way while we paint.
Our realtor is coming over tonight...which I'm not really thrilled about. I really wanted to have everything finished before he came to see it. But he is headed out of town, and said that he basically just wanted to come and see the condition of the house. We plan to have it on the market by the first weekend in April!
Speaking of the house, and getting things ready... I am so thankful to have a husband who is willing to look out for me. Clif called our realtor and explained everything that happened, and told him that I did not want Lilly's room touched. I'm not painting her room, and I'm not packing up her things until/if we sell the house. =) Realtor was very understanding and said that it wouldn't be a problem.
I just honestly don't think that I would be able to do it. Packing her things away is going to be hard enough. Maybe I'll be pregnant then? Might make things a little easier, because some of the things would be moved to our new house for a new baby. But it's going to be heart wrenching regardless.
That's another thing. I think that we have decided that if we do sell our house, we are going to rent somewhere for about 6 months or so. This was we can put some money back in savings, and just to get ourselves back above water from me being out of work unpaid for so long.
Please continue praying for us as we are TTC, and trying to sell our house too. Pray that God's will be done in it all.

Love,
Des

5 comments:

Raquel said...

Praying...*hug*

trennia said...

praying for you too, my friend.

Lori said...

Oh friend, right there with you. It's so cruel-feeling. Here you are doing the exact same thing, starting from scratch, AGAIN, and it's just not right! You should have your little baby girl with you and this should all be unneccessary.

I'm so sorry--I felt the same exact way a few weeks ago, and then again this morning when my nurse was ordering all my medicine. $5K worth of medicine. SERIOUSLY? I ALREADY paid my dues. I made it to the finish line. 40 weeks and 4 days!

It just is so wrong. But, like you, I'm pressing on--thankful for the opportunity to continue, and prayerful for my heart's desire. Yours too, friend.

Me said...

Good luck! :)

Caroline said...

Praying for you !!!
Caroline

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