Thursday, March 4, 2010

the day my life changed forever...

It was March 4th, 2009. We were getting ready for our week long trip to Texas. That was the night that I took a pregnancy test, and found that it was positive. One year.

Tomorrow will be one year since my nurse called and confirmed what we knew...I was pregnant. And only two weeks along!!!

What do I have to show for it a year later?? Some pictures, a nursery full of unused baby items, stretch marks, a c-section scar, and a broken heart. Oh yeah, and empty arms.

This isn't how I pictured my life...though it is what it is. I can't change it...and I don't think I would if I could. I mean, I'd give my own life if Lilly could be living today. But, I am so grateful that she never has to worry with the things of the world.

I love you my sweet Lilly Bean. Forever.

"He is With You" ~Mandisa

There’s a time to live And a time to die
There’s a time to laugh And a time to cry
There’s a time for war And a time for peace
There’s a hand to hold In the worst of these
He is with you when your faith is dead
And you can’t even get out of bed
Or your husband doesn’t kiss you anymore
He is with you when your baby’s gone
And your house is still, And your heart’s a stone
Cryin’ God, what’d You do that for
He is with you
There’s a time for yes And a time for no
There’s a time to be angry And a time to let it go
There is a time to run And a time to face it
There is love to see you Through all of this
He is with you in the conference room
When the world is coming down on you
And your wife and kids don’t know you anymore
He is with you in the ICU When the doctors don’t know what to do
And it scares you to the core He is with you
We may weep for a time But joy will come in the morning
The morning light
He is with you when your kids are grown
When there’s too much space And you feel alone
And you’re worried if you got it right or wrong
Yes He is with you when you’ve given up on ever finding your true love
Someone who feels like home He is with you
When nothing else is left And you take your final breath He is with you

4 comments:

Trennia said...

Wonderfully put...(((HUGS)))
Isn't it wonderful He(Jesus) is always there for us, even when we don't think He is?!
Praising the Lord and Still serving Him through the storm!
Trennia

Em said...

{{{hugs}}}

croleyc69 said...

Thinking of you today and sending Prayers and {{HUGS}}
Caroline

Holly said...

It's never how you picture things. Never. I feel the same, I'm not sure I would change things if I could. Sure, I'd be much happier with an almost 1 yr old running around the house but I believe that this journey has its purpose.

I love that song by Mandisa! When I say the video to it and heard it for the first time it brought tears in my eyes.

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