Let go...and let God.

Hmmm. So I went to a revival type meeting last night. Not really going for any particular reason, other than I really like the speaker. He's one of those old time hell fire & brimstone type. =) He is an amazing man of God.
I didn't really go for any other reason than that, and I really didn't expect to be blessed. But I was. Funny how God works like that, huh?
He spoke from Exodus 2:10-10. The story of Moses. I guess it had gotten past me all the times that I heard this story before... but Moses' mom hid him for THREE months before putting him in the basket, and sending him down the Nile. Can you imagine how stressful?? Trying to keep the baby quiet and hidden from Pharaoh? She knew that if they found her precious baby boy, that he would be killed. How awful that must have been, knowing that at some point and time, your child was going to be too big to hide...and that dying because of who he was, was inevitable.
Anyways, the thing that the pastor kept saying throughout the message was, "Let go of your basket...". A good point that he made, Moses' mother kept Moses hidden for three months, because she didn't want to let go of her little boy. She didn't want to give him up, even though she knew that's what she would have to do in the end. She, like any other mother, had dreams for her son. Plans for his future. Plans, just like Clif and I had plans for our Lilly. But God had bigger plans for Moses' life. He allowed Moses to lead the Israelites out of bondage, and He allowed Moses to write the first five books of the Bible, not to mention several other things that Moses did!
How amazing it was to hear that story again. Hear that when Moses' mother finally decided to "let go of her basket", God really began to work. Pharaoh's daughter spotted Moses' basket and had a maid fetch it. Moses' sister offered to find someone to take care of the baby...which ended up being Moses' own MOTHER! How much of a God thing is that?!?!
Anyways, one of the main things that the Pastor was getting at was... you've got to let go of your "basket" or your problem, and LET GOD take care of it!! He has plans for each and every one of us, if only we will give Him the control.
So...what did I gain from that? I held the "basket" of losing my little girl for a short time, but then realized that I had to give it to God. This all transpired while I was still in the hospital. But the "basket" that I've been gripping...holding on to...is trying to get pregnant again.
It was hard the first time, and I know it's going to be extremely emotional this time. But I have fully given this over to the Lord. If Clif and I are meant to have another child of our own, God will allow it. If not, then we will have to learn to live with that. I'm not saying that it will be easy, but we will live anyhow.
On that note, Clif said something the other night that made me happy. He has always been opposed to the idea of adoption. But, the other night he said that he wouldn't mind adopting a child in the states. I of course want to try and have more of our own children, but I've always said that after we have our children, I want to adopt one. =) So it made me happy to see this breakthrough with my hubby!
I've also been reading a book by a Pastor from our area, something about dealing with a bitter cup (can't remember the title). In that book, your problems are referred to your "bitter cup". And in this book, the pastor shares scripture and assures you that, it's ok not to like what you're going through. It's ok not to like the "bitter cup" you have been served...just don't become bitter...become better! I will share more about this book as I finish reading it. The pastor that wrote the book is actually the father of the couple whose little boy was born still a few weeks back.
=) Please pray for me. It was a little upsetting calling the doctors office this morning to get the results of my pregnancy test. Of course, I had already taken a home test and knew that I wasn't pregnant...but it was still rough hearing the nurse say, "I'm sorry, but you're not pregnant". **Sigh** Anywho...I will start my Provera today, and then Clomid on day 5 of my next cycle. FUN stuff. =)
God is good, all the time. And remember...when you're holding on to a basket, and it gets too big to carry alone...let go, and let God!!!