Sunday, November 13, 2011
It's been a while since I spoke that name. Lilly Bean. Oh how Mommy misses you, Baby Girl. There is never a day that goes by that I don't think of you...think of the things that could have been.
I used to find myself saying, "the things that should have been"... but, God had different plans for your life.
Mommy will forever be thankful for the *almost* ten months that had with you. During those months, I watched you (and myself) grow. You went from being a little "bean" (blob, really)...to being my Lilly Bean...my beautiful baby girl.
I'll never forget the moment when I knew you were gone. Nurses were working around me, trying to find your heart beat...and I knew deep inside that you had already slipped away. All the hopes and dreams Daddy and I had for you had slipped through my fingers like sand.
I pray that you knew how much Mommy and Daddy loved you, Lillian. And still do! You were the first of my children to steal my heart... and you will forever have a very special place in it.
Who would have ever guessed that a little girl that never even breathed a breath this side of Heaven, could change the lives of so many. Including mine, baby. You have changed me...for the good. Never again will I look at life the way I used to. Never will I take the gift of life for granted.
It's so hard to imagine what you'd look like today...a two year old. Would you have blond hair, or brown? If you're anything like you're Mommy... you'd have pin straight hair. Would you be short?...tall? But those are things I can only dream of. You'll forever be my baby...and that's how I'll always see you. My little 5 pound, 9.5 ounce baby girl. The little woman that changed my life forever.
I love you Lillian Joy, forever...for always. And nothing that happens in this life will ever change that. You're my daughter, my first born...and I will never forget.
I love you,
Posted by Lilly's Mom (Desiree) at 6:00 AM