Friday, August 20, 2010

waiting = torture

I can't stop thinking about Tuesday. I'm anxious. I'm nervous. I'm scared. What if there aren't any matured eggs? What if I've wasted three appointments with Dr S? I only have/had a total of five!

*sigh* I am still trusting God. I know that if it's His will...there will be eggs on Tuesday. If it's His will, I will get my shot of Ovidrel on Tuesday. If it's His will...we will go back to see Dr S on Thursday for an insemination. If it is His will, we will have another baby. Maybe not this month, maybe not the next. But in His time, I believe that God will grow our family once again.

It's hard to keep the faith...to remain hopeful. It's been nine months now since we said hello & goodbye to our precious Lilly. I've taken more than nine pregnancy tests since November 13th...every single one has been negative. Every doctors appointment it's as if the doctors don't know what's going on. (At least Dr S has a better understanding than Dr G).

I am praying with all that I am that in seven weeks we will be at the office of Dr S, that we will hear a heart beat - and that we'll be sent back to Dr G for the remainder or my prenatal care. I'm praying, I'm hoping... I'm begging.

Pray for me? Waiting is torture.

6 comments:

Trennia said...

praying sweetie!

Busted Kate said...

Sending you some prayers, and crossing my fingers for good news!!

Holly said...

Waiting is hard to do! Praying!!

belle said...

praying with you....

Mrs*Popcorn said...

Desiree, everyday i pray, i pray for you. For your husband. For your family to grow. I know somewhat how you feel (as you know my experience was different than yours, but nonetheless, we are both babylossmommas). I know how discouraging those stupid negative tests cans be. I've even told my hubby about you so he can pray for you too. I wish you the best!!

Where do u go to the dr at? I seen on ur other blog entries that u were @ RMH with Lilly. I was just wondering which facility u went to.

Hope you hear the news you've been wanting on Tuesday :)

Lindsey said...

Praying for you!

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