Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Some things just need repeating.

To Whom It May Concern:
The blog titled "journey to motherhood" is not for you. At all. I really don't know how much clearer I can get on this. This blog is for me, in honor of my daughter. Remember? The daughter that DIED nine months ago??
Yeah, this is for her. This is where I can come to talk about her. This is a place where I can come to share my feelings with those who truly care about me. And I really believe that the people who genuinely care about me will accept my feelings. Whether they think they are right or wrong. That's what true friends do.
And ya know what? If you don't like this blog, if you don't like the things that I write about - or the feelings that I convey when I type...are you ready for this??? DON'T READ IT! Seriously.
When you log onto your dashboard every day, you make a conscience choice to read (or not read) my latest post. You choose to select my blog, and load it onto your screen. You CHOOSE to read what I write. No one is asking you to, and no one is holding a gun to your head telling you to.
So I'm not sorry if the things on this blog offend you. This is my therapy. I (and others) think it's good for me. I mean, do you seriously realize how good I'm doing, considering??
Lillian Joy was a living child. She lived for a little over nine months. She was a real baby...not just a figment of your imagination. I loved her from the moment I found out that I had the privilege to carry her in my womb for nine months. I talked to her, sang to her...her daddy talked to her and rubbed her almost every night. She was loved by SO many people. She has touched an unbelievable amount of people. I mean - seriously, how many other little babies do you know that has a good 400-500 people show up for their funeral? These people took time out of their (week day) day, and some drove from different STATES to  honor my daughter... a little girl that none of them had ever met. People have (and some continue) to shower us with love, thoughts and prayers. *Almost* everyone has been amazing. Understanding even. But not all.
There are still those few people who think that MY situation belongs to them. They are starving for attention - and they just can't help but try to make my grief about themselves. Ya know what? These people don't realize that they've won. That the competition STOPPED when my daughter was born still. It was over on November 13,2009. They WIN! This(these) person (people) who strive to out do all that I strive for in life have won. They have a happy life and family. I have a life, but it still lacks the "happy" part. My family consists of myself and my husband...oh and our dead child.
So please, let me reiterate. If you don't like the words that I type. If you don't like the way my thoughts and opinions make you feel...then stay away. This is not for you, it's for her.

10 comments:

Lori said...

I'm so, so sorry anyone feels they have the right to judge or chastise you for YOUR words on YOUR place on the internet (or anywhere else for that matter!)

You are right. NO ONE is forced to read. If one wants to without the intention of supporting you and listening to you and just praying for you, well...one should rethink opening your page.

Lots of love, friend...

Trennia said...

What happened?
Some jerk leaving their opinion?
(((HUGS)))
This is your blog,Lily's blog the heck with those who choose to act like a jerk!
Sorry sweetie these people are out there...they are waiting to hurt us momma's that have lost,but,yes there is a but, and praise the Lord for it too!
Ready?
Here it is for all you that mistreat Desiree,and all other momma's that have lost...
Romans 12:19
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

That is GOD's words!
Love ya Desiree,wish I was there to give you (((HUGS)))

Radiant Readhead said...

wow!!! what the heck happened? i am so sorry someone is making you upset! you are right, and i don't understand why people would read a blog they just want to criticize....makes no sense to me.

butterflymom said...

Keep on writing, hun. We will continue to read, listen and comment. I'm sorry that someone made you feel uncomfortable, but don't let that stop you! ((hugs))

Holly said...

I agree. If people don't like what you write they don't have to read!! It's that easy!

Amanda said...

you need to keep writing. baby lost parents need to hear what you are saying, yelling, heartaching, hoping.... bless you.

The Blue Sparrow said...

AMEN to that! I totally agree! If you dont like it, then stop reading! You have every (GOD GIVEN) right as her mother to honor Lily in ANY way you choose to!

croleyc69 said...

I so agree Don't read it !!

{{HUGS}}
Caroline

Jamie Wilson said...

Some people can be so heartless, but that is not your fault. Ignore them and continue to mourn and honor your daughter the way you feel is right. No one else matters. I'm so sorry that you have had to endure someone else's selfishness, but just know you have the support and love of so many other people.

Hannah Rose said...

Love to you!! Who said something?? I hope it wasn't the same person.

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