Tuesday, August 24, 2010

dazed and confused.

Talk about a horrible day. *sigh*

Well...let's start at the beginning.

This morning I woke up at 6:20 and went to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready. I took my OPK test, and low and behold it was positive. I thought I was crazy...so I woke Clif up and made him come in there and take a look. I didn't tell him I thought it was positive. I just asked him to tell me what line was darker. He said, "the one on the left". Well, the line on the right is the reference line. The left is the test line. It wasn't just me. The test was positive.

So, with a glimpse of hope - we headed to the REs office. We show up, Ovidrel in hand. Dr S came to get me quickly, and took me back to the u/s room. He left for me to undress, and then came back a few minutes later. I told him about the test. He sounded hopeful.

The u/s started and I could tell by his face it wasn't good. He turned the screen for Clif and I to see - he showed us my ovaries, and the follicles. The eggs are not matured.

Dr S was puzzled. He said that he has no clue why I got a positive OPK this morning. He said it didn't make sense.

I got dressed and went to his office. He told us that if I hadn't told him about the test, he would have told me to come back in 5-7 days. But since I got the positive, he wasn't sure what to do. He told us that I could get the shot today and possibly (more than likely) waste $260 tomorrow for the insemination.

We asked him what he suggested, and he said that he would wait until Friday - come in and get blood drawn (at the lab - so it doesn't count as one of my appointments) to check and see if I ovulated. THEN I'll go back Monday at 8am for another u/s to see if the eggs have matured, get the Ovidrel shot , and go back Tuesday for the IUI. Possibly. But he didn't sound too hopeful.

It's pretty bad when your RE is puzzled. That's my body for ya though, screwed up.

I am almost to the point to give up, stop going to the doctor, and either do egg donor, surrogacy, or adoption.

My body has been through so much in the last nine months, it's not even money. If you want to get technical - I guess it's really gone through a lot since October 2008. *sigh*

I went back to work and talked with my boss...more like cried while my boss listened...for like an hour. And then she sent me home. I wouldn't have been worth anything at work today. I love my boss, she's the BEST.

So I'm upset...sad...disappointed. But I'll get over it...and I'm not going to lose hope. :) Keep looking up...that's what I keep telling myself.

My mom says that she is praising the Lord for the positive OPK - that she is viewing that as a shimmer of hope. Not to give up - to keep trusting God, and to find something to praise Him about. So - that's what I'm doing.

I'm praising God for the positive (even if it was false) test this morning - and praying that it wasn't a fluke like Dr S thinks that it may have been. That I will ovulate this month. Even if I don't get pregnant this month... if I can just ovulate, I would be so happy. We shall see...Dr S says that (contrary to what the OPK says - that the Clomid should not interfere with the test. However, the way I see it - the tests are 99.9% accurate. With my luck, I'll be in the 0.01% that is fluke.

Please continue to pray for us. Pray that the OPK test was correct - and that we may conceive even this week. :) He said to go with the "all natural" route tomorrow...and then we'll see what happens next week. Thanks to you all for the prayer and support that y'all give me.

7 comments:

Lori said...

I was hoping for more definitive answers for you and bless your heart, I can only imagine your frustration. You are right...hearing your RE sound puzzled is SO disheartening.

Praying still and even for the all-natural route as well!

Mostly....for peace for your heart.
xoxo

AHB said...

I am so sorry you are so frustrated. I can tell you that my body was very frustrating too..My RE said one time that she didn't understand why I wasn't getting pregnant in so many words..Anyways. I used something called Natural Progesterone Cream for one month (sold by Arbonne), and it is the only month I ovulated on my own! I was so excited. I didn't get pregnant that month, but I did the next month with my daughter Carley. I know a girl who was told she would never have kids who used the same cream..she has three children now..just something to think about! Good luck!

Shannon said...

Ive been told that women with PCOS (myself included) should not take those OPKs because it is not accurate. I would tuck those away, and trust what you can see. (the ultrasound) ....?? maybe.
And I have some of that progesterone cream that AHB was telling you about, that also helped me ovulate as well. If you want some, just let me know! :) Praise Him for his provision.

Shannon said...

Ive been told that women with PCOS (myself included) should not take those OPKs because it is not accurate. I would tuck those away, and trust what you can see. (the ultrasound) ....?? maybe.
And I have some of that progesterone cream that AHB was telling you about, that also helped me ovulate as well. If you want some, just let me know! :) Praise Him for his provision.

croleyc69 said...

I'm so sorry you could get a true answer. I'm praying for you so much.

Caroline

Angela said...

I'm sorry you had a frustrating appointment. Praying for you and hoping for answers soon.

Holly said...

Praying the test is correct!

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