Wednesday, June 2, 2010

a little bit of this and that...

I have a million thoughts running through my head, and as hard as I try... I just cannot get them out onto the screen. Well, we'll just say that I can't get them out AND them make sense.
Bleh. It's been a busy week, and I can't believe that it's almost over! We hired a new employee at our office, and I have been training all week. :) It's gone well, not as stressful as I thought it might be. I think the chickie is going to catch on really quick. Thank you Lord!
I got a call from my doctors office. Since my nurse retired on the 14th, Dr G does not have a new nurse yet. So the lady from the lab called me to inform me that, once again, my progesterone test is not consistent with ovulation. :( Dr G has already called in my clomid 150mg, AND my provera. Thanks for having confidence in my body, Doc.
I'm really praying that this round of Clomid will do the trick. I really don't want to have to meet this fertility specialist that Dr G told me about. :) I am just keeping my chin up, and bathing it in prayer. I know that God will bless us in His time...whether it be with a child or not.
Something crossed my mind today. I know I'm not the first to think of it, and I'm sure that I've heard people say it before.
But for some reason today, I was thinking about God sending His son to die on the cross. I got to this thought because I was thinking about how a lot of people don't know what I am going through...they don't know the loss of a child, and they expect me to get over it and move on with my life.
God knows exactly what I am feeling...and then some. He sent His Son into this world as an infant, already knowing that He would later be beaten, and then die on a cross for the sins of the world.
God's Son died. My daughter died. Not only does God care for me, and care about what I am going through....He understands it first hand. What a comforting feeling.
I don't know...maybe that sounds weird. But it just hit me today, that though I already knew I was not just brought that much more comfort.
**sigh** Doctors bills are still up in the air, but we aren't going to worry about it just yet. If it costs us three hundred dollars a month in order to get pregnant, it's a small price to pay. After all, it's just money...right?
:) It'll get paid somehow, we have faith.
So I got Clif a new wedding band for our Anniversary. It's stainless steel (very pretty) and is inscribed on the inside with "Jeremiah 29:11". Love it! And so did he.
He bought me a pretty little picture frame from Hallmark :) My "real" gift is a weekend away. Not really sure where we are going, he mentioned something about going towards Virginia Beach. We shall see... I am hoping that it has something to do with a Cheesecake Factory, because that's where I've really been wanting to go. Anyways, we are going out of town for a night...staying in a hotel somewhere...and he is taking me on a "mini" shopping spree. :) What more could I ask for, huh?
Most of my pre pregnancy clothes are too small, and all of my post pregnancy are too big. So my wardrobe is limited. Needless to say, I am looking forward to it!!!
Sorry this is so jumbled, but it's been a while since I wrote anything, and just wanted to check in and let everyone know what's going on.
Hope everyone has a great week!!!


That corgi :) said...

yum on the Cheesecake Factory, hope your anniversary celebration does include that

how neat with the wedding band for Clif with Jeremiah 29:11

glad the training with the new employee is going well

true that God has experienced and dealt with what you are dealing with in losing your daughter and him giving his son. Definitely he always knows what we need and how to comfort us


Lori said...

Hope you have a wonderful time!!

Girl, I feel you on the clothes--pre pregnancy are pushing limits and post pregnancy way too big. Ugh.

Happy anniversary!

Trennia said...

praying for ya,have a fun upcoming weekend!

Holly said...

That's so true about God. He definitely gets what we are going thru because he knows how much it hurts to have a child die.

Have fun on your shopping trip!

croleyc69 said...

Have fun on your weekend. Always praying for ya !!


elena said...

I have thought this myself from time to time since we got Lilly's diagnosis. God definitely feels our pain and knows our hearts. Enjoy your weekend getaway and whatever new clothes you may get along the way.

love and prayers

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