Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Anxiety? Me? No way...

…I think I’m okay. I just freaked myself out last night. I didn’t go to sleep until after midnight….and had to get up at 6:30 this morning.
I asked Clif to come home from work a few hours early to check on me…but he couldn’t get away.  When he walked through the door at 7:05 this morning, I was like….”Uh, glad I’m not dead”.
I honestly think it’s just anxiety. I personally think that I have handled everything since November 13th very well – but I still have emotions and feelings. Maybe those are just catching up with me?
Oh well, I’m doing better today…and I feel better too! There have only been a couple of times that it (whatever “it” is) has happened.
The main reason I didn’t go to the doctor this morning is because my current doctor is horrible. Until I got married, I could count on my one hand how many times I had been to the doctor. I just never was sick. I still have the doctor that my parents chose for me as a teenager. Ew.  So this morning I called my insurance company and changed my primary physician. SO if I do have to go to the doctor, at least I will be going to someone that I trust. That’s always a plus.
I don’t want to hear what they may have to say to me though, I think that’s one of the biggest reasons I don’t want to go. I don’t want to hear that they think I need professional help, because I honestly believe that I don’t need it. I have the best help that anyone could ever have and that comes from above. I don’t want medicine for anxiety, and I don’t want to go to the hospital. Of course, I am a big girl now… and I accept that things are going to go wrong with my body from time to time and that I am going to have to get help. Ha! But I don’t wanna. The good thing about the doctor that I am switching to (Dr W) is that he is a friend of my dad’s, so he knows everything that has happened – plus he is a Christian…which helps more than the average person would know.
*sigh* I just wish that Dr G could be my all around doc, and not just my OBGYN.  Oh well. At least this past almost two years I have gotten over my fear of doctors. Now if I could just get past my fear of dentists…


Lori said...

So glad you are switching doctors!! As I was reading, that was the first thing I was thinking of--you need to switch so you can feel comfortable with your doctor!!!!

Praying for your anxiety!!

croleyc69 said...

Praying for ya !!


That corgi :) said...

glad you are feeling better today and that you switched doctors to someone you will probably be more comfortable around. I would not rule out the possibility of being on something for anxiety for short term down the line if the doctor thinks it might help, if you talk to him about it. I'm not one to take meds and I truly had Jesus walking beside me with some things we went through with our kids, and I chose to take something for anxiety/mood for just a bit to help me sleep, etc. So just a thought to keep on the back burner. (but then I'm not sure with the meds out there what is good to take if you are trying to get pregnant) anyway, do at least talk with your doctor about it because he might be able to give you wonderful suggestions how to manage these episodes without meds and without them increasing or becoming stronger in intensity


elena said...

I am glad to hear that you are doing better. I definitely have moments of anxiety, so I can relate to you.

many hugs

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