Monday, November 22, 2010

I even surprise myself sometimes!

I feel very... proud? I don't really know how to explain it, other than I am proud of myself.

Today I overcame something HUGE. If you had asked me yesterday how I would have handled the situation, I would have told you that I had no clue. Heck, if you had asked me this morning how I'd react, I would have had NO clue. :) In fact, walking into the situation I didn't know how it would be.

But I am proud to say, I managed....actually I think it went really good. :) I saw the others watching how I'd react...wondering if I would be able hold it together. And I did.

What the heck am I talking about???

Today...for the first time since Lilly died (actually before that)... I held a newborn baby...and enjoyed it. :)

Thanks "A" for not being afraid to ask if I wanted to hold him. ;) I'm glad I did.

Ah, short and sweet but to the point. Just wanted to share that with you all. Thanks to everyone who has continued to email,facebook, blog comment...text for all our kind words and prayers.

God Bless!!

10 comments:

Mrs*Popcorn said...

Go Desiree!! Congrats. Some may not see that as a huge accomplishment, but it really is. Way to go :)

To be honest, i have a FEAR of holding newborns lol, i always have. So i have NO idea what i'm going to do. Yikes.

Anyways, great news!!

Drew & Kari said...

That's awesome ;) I've been praying for you!

belle said...

((((((hugs))))))

Betty said...

YAY!!!!! I'm so happy for you! It may SOUND like a little step, but that is a very very hard thing to do! Thank you so much for sharing your triumph with us! What a great friend you have in that momma!

April said...

My first night home, I dreamed about you. I dreamed that you came to my house and I asked if you wanted to hold him while I went to get a picture. When I came back, you were holding him, sobbing. I woke up so upset. I'm glad you held him. I think he was too. You're a natural mommy and we love you! When he's older, I will make sure he knows that you checked on us everyday.
Did I tell you about leaving the hospital? Floyd was carrying him and walking in front of me. People were pointing and trying to peek at him and I thought it was odd, the reactions. I mean it's a hospital. You would expect babies going home and it reminded me that some don't and how many people go in and out of there heart broken instead of happy. Just then, a man was passing Floyd, holding a little girl's hand. She had Down's Syndrome and she lit up when she saw the baby. She had the biggest smile across her whole face and I wanted to cry but, I had to thank God at that moment for answering my prayers. He will answer yours too doll.
Love ya.
A

Courtney said...

This is a huge step in the grieving process after losing a child if you ask me. I am incredibly proud of you my friend!

*hugs*

Ausmerican Housewife said...

I hear you.

I wanted to hold a newborn SO BAD after Evan died. Puppy, kitten, baby slug, it don't matter. I'll hold it.

When our niece was born I wanted a cuddle soooooooooooooo bad. And I got my cuddle. It felt so good.

croleyc69 said...

Yay for you !!! I'm glad you did too.
{{HUGS}}
Caroline

Allyson Shockley said...

Very happy for you darlin' :) You and Clif are constantly in my prayers! Love you! <3

elena said...

This brings me back to the time I held my first newborn. *hugs*

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