Tuesday, August 7, 2012

That moment that changes your life...forever.

So I was riding down the road listening to a local Christian radio station - when they started talking about their upcoming topic for their morning show tomorrow morning.

Moments that changed your life.

Two moments immediately popped into my head. Let me tell you about those moments.

November 13th,2009

This picture was taken just hours after the most life-altering, dream-stopping, heart-shattering moment of my life. 

Just a few hours before my husband and I had arrived at Roanoke Memorial Hospital to induce labor, and give birth to our first born child, Lillian Joy. Shortly after being checked into a room...that moment took place. The moment that will forever be burned into my heart...the moment that my doctor looked at my husband and me and said the two words that will never cease to bring tears to my eyes..."no heartbeat". Our  world came to a screeching halt when we were told that our unborn child, at 40w4d gestation, had died inside my womb. The same child that had woken me just three hours before...willing her way out. She was gone. And there was nothing we could do except to cling to our Loving Savior, and to one another.

January 27th,2011

That moment when Dr.S said something along the lines of, "Looks like we missed one, you're having THREE pregnancies." What? At the same time? In that moment I knew that God had heard our prayers and that He had answered them, three fold!

There were most definitely times during my struggle with PCOS & infertility that I thought I would never become pregnant a second time. That the only child He blessed us with would forever live with Him.

God is faithful to his children. And my family is living proof.

Though it didn't necessarily pop into my head first thing, there was definitely a third moment that came tumbling into my mind soon thereafter. 

July 15th,2011

The day that Eli Zayne (4lbs.06oz), Easton Layne (3lb13oz), and Elliana Rayne (2lb15oz) came kicking & screaming into this world.

After a journey like ours...enduring the pain and heartache of losing a child... it was the most rewarding feeling to hear three cries...and to watch three seemingly healthy babies be born into this world.

Moments like these changed my life forever. Some for the good, and some for the bad... but a day never goes by that I don't believe with my whole heart that all the above mentioned was in God's master plan for mine and Clif's lives.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Only God Can Bring Forth Rain To Smother Pain's Flames

**Warning** If you don't like or agree with tattoos, you probably will not want to read this post**

So for our five year wedding anniversary...we decided to spend the day with our favorite tattoo artist ( check out some of his work here). Kind of an odd way to spend our anniversary - but we had a blast, and it was definitely a memorable day!
I've been trying to come up with a tattoo that could symbolize my journey. My journey through infertility, through loss, and through happiness.
Before seeing Andy last Saturday morning I had decided that I wanted a storm scene with a rainbow scene at the bottom of the tattoo. A storm to symbolize the hard times...or the "storm" in my life, and a rainbow scene to symbolize the happiness and my three precious rainbow babies.
When arriving at the shop, Andy explained that he really didn't feel comfortable with the rainbow...and that he had drawn up a little something to see if I liked it. I loved it. I was perfect.
So...after about three hours of needle to skin...this is what we've got...
The "eye of the storm" is located at the top of the tattoo. One single tear symbolizing my precious Lilly Bean. Storm clouds and lightening symbolize not only the storm we experienced when we lost our precious baby girl, but also our journey through infertility. The three cherubs symbolize the triplets (of course!) holding up my aching heart, consumed with flames caused by all the pain and heartache. The rain is to show that God does answer prayer...that he brought the rain that helped smother the pain of my heart. The quote, "Only God can bring forth rain to smother pain's flame" came from a rap song (yes...don't even. I hate rap, but heard the lyric and it has stuck with me ever since). I am so pleased with how well it all fit together :)

One year of blessed craziness.

A blog title has never held more truth than the one above. For the Smith household...the last year has been crazy...but most definitely blessed. More than blessed.
I cannot believe that time has passed so quickly. It's SO hard to believe these precious {not so} little babies are one year old. :) It's such a bittersweet feeling. I am so thankful that they made it to a year, that God saw fit to watch over them as they were growing in my womb...and as they were delivered into this world. He kept His loving hands on them as they were in the hospital - and continued to do so every single day of their lives.
Starting with July 15,2011 and every single day since...my life (as well as Clif's) has been filled with such joy! Watching the children - products of our love for one another - grow and advance with each passing day. Witnessing them discovering new things, developing into the toddlers they are today.

Eli Zayne Smith. What a Mama's boy! :) And I love every single second of it. Eli weighed in just shy of 22 pounds at his one year appointment, big boy! It's so hard to believe that he started off at just four pounds!
He's so smart! :) He's been walking for the past month or so, but not long lengths. He still eats a ton, but is growing pickier by the day. Eli's favorite past time is to bite his brother and sister...and mommy...and daddy... and well, anyone else that happens to get in the way. It started out because of teething, and has continued as a form of retaliation. Ugh! :) Little Booger has ten teeth (including two molars - that came in about  months early) and two others trying to break gum. He still has thing brown hair, and hazel eyes. He is my little Chunky Monkey...short and plump.

Easton Layne Smith. Spaztastic for short. This kid is the picture of energy...and never ever stops! Powder blond hair and crystal blue eyes that will melt your heart in an instant. LOVE this little Ham. Easton weighed in just shy of pounds, making his weigh gain a little over 16 pounds in one year. Not too shabby! Easton loves to get his hands on everything that he knows he's not allowed to play with. Mischievous little thing. Easton took off walking about two weeks ago, but like his big brother - he gets bored with it easily. Easton has eight teeth, is cutting his canines, and two molars. Whew! Needless to say, he is taking after Eli in the biting department. :)

Elliana Rayne Smith. What can I say? That's my daughter! :) This is the face we are greeted with continuously through the days. She is such a goof ball...and SO happy. Definitely our good baby. Elliana weighed in at 17 pounds 2 ounces. She's made it quite a ways since her 2lb15oz debut a year ago. Little Princess is finally getting some hair in, and it's absolutely beautiful - definitely compliments her chocolate brown eyes that light up any room she enters. Elliana walks as well, and is getting better and better each day.
She has eight teeth and is also cutting her molars. Elliana had her follow up appointment with her cardiologist last week, and still has a slight leak in one her valves - which has also thickened. Dr.W doesn't think that it will effect her in the future, and says that she should lead a normal childhood. She will see him once a year to make sure nothing changes. We are so blessed that the Lord saw fit to heal her little heart. Oh this little girl!

We have been so blessed.

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