I told you all in my last post, brb :) that I would be MIA for a while, that I didn't know when I would be back, but that I WOULD be back. I also said not to worry, that nothing was really "wrong". Well... I'm back now! And I'm here to tell you why I left in the first place.
As you all know, Clif and I had our first IUI procedure done on December 23rd. Of course we told ourselves (and one another) that we would not get our hopes up. And of course, we did. I'm really bad about doing that. In fact, you all know that for the last *almost* year... every time I go to the doctor, whether it be Dr G or Dr S, I always get my hopes up. And I always crash when disappointment hits. *sigh* Such is the story of my life. But you gals (and possible gents?) have been great. Comforting me along, when times of disappointment arise. It's been a really rough past year+. We've had so many ups and downs, it's not even close to being funny.
**Yes, I really had Clif take a picture of this!**
I still believe that God has a very special plan for our lives, and I am anxiously awaiting for that plan to unfold - and be revealed to Clif and me. We are fully trusting in Him, and know that our desires will be fulfilled in His timing.
So the week of the 1st, I started experiencing some cramps. They weren't horrible, but I knew that AF was right around the corner. You see, the month before I got pregnant with Lilly, I ovulated. But I didn't get pregnant. It was disheartening to say the least. But that next month, the month that I did get pregnant, AF started on it's own. I didn't have to take Provera. So even though I was very disappointed the first week of this month, I held tight to the hope of next month being the month for us. If AF was going to start on her own, maybe eggs would mature on their own too!
Tuesday, January 4th was day 28 of my cycle. We had planned on testing on Thursday the 6th. I was terrified to test too early, again, because of the disappointment that would come along with a negative pregnancy test.
This is where I have to get honest. I "felt" like I was pregnant since New Year's Eve. Deep down in my gut, I just had the feeling.
Clif worked on the 4th, day 28 of my cycle. So after work, I went to Wal*Mart, picked up a box of three pregnancy tests...and went home. I battled with myself the whole ride home. Would I test, would I wait. Clif actually called me during my drive, and asked if I would test when he got home the next morning. That was one day sooner than what we had talked about. I agreed, and that was that.
When I arrived at the house, I decided that I was going to test. I unwrapped the test as I drove up our driveway (I really had to pee!!), and ran inside to take the test. I was praying the whole time, please Lord, just let my gut feeling be right. After a few seconds....I opened my eyes. Disappointment??
I think not. There, alone in my bathroom, on January 4th... two lines appeared on my First Response pregnancy test. I was in absolute shock. I was pregnant. I am pregnant! :)
No, you don't need to adjust your eyes, or your computer screen. You read right! Clif and I are expecting our second bundle of joy sometime around September 15th,2011.
As soon as it sunk in, I headed back to town. I printed out pictures of the positive test, and bought Clif a pair of white, unisex baby shoes. Oh, and a sign for the car window. It's a monkey sitting on a banana and it says "baby inside". I thought it was fitting.
Clif was working night shift, so I wouldn't see him until the following morning. :) I woke up bright and early the next morning, took a shower, got ready for work...and waited. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity...he walked in. He gave me a puzzled look, and I said "don't be mad". He asked why. I told him that there was something that I wanted to give him for Christmas, but wasn't able to. But I wanted to give it to him now. I pulled out a wrapped box from under the covers. It was wrapped in left over Christmas paper, which helped since I told him it was a belated Christmas gift. :)
When he opened it, he just stared. And then it hit him. He couldn't say a word - all he could do was hug me.
So, it took a lot of typing for me to finally get to this point, but we are expecting another little Smith! :) Please pray with us that this pregnancy would be a smooth one for me, and that God would protect me, and more importantly, the....BABIES? Yup that's right...God has given us a double blessing. TWINS!!! Meet "Baby A" and "Baby B". :)
~Baby Smith A~
~Baby Smith B~
I called the doctor that morning, the 5th, and they sent an order in for labs. They of course, wanted to check my hcg levels. :) They called me back within a few hours to let me know that I was at 355, which was normal. Dr S wanted me to come back on the following Monday, the 10th, for more blood work. This is routine for all patients. So, I went back on the 10th (five days later) and my hcg levels jumped up to 2,709!! Needless to say - I was more than excited. I thought for sure that he would see me that same week for my first ultrasound, but he made me wait until Wednesday, January 19th. Talk about an eternity!
As far as feelings go... I felt pretty good last week, but around Thursday things took a turn for the worse :) Which I would take every single day, for the rest of my life. Puking has not yet begun, but I think if it did... I would feel a lot better! Oh, and I feel like every five seconds I am headed to the bathroom. I had a lot of bathroom visits while pregnant with Lilly, but this time, it's like, I can look at water and have to pee. :)
Today, we went to the doctor. Everything looks great, according to Dr S! We are so thankful!!! He said that if we had gone two days earlier, he wouldn't even have been able to see the babies. Just the sacks. So heartrate of Baby A was 96 and Baby B is 94!! Which, is on the lower side, but he said that it's completely normal...especially with me still being so early on! We go back next Friday at 10:00am for another ultrasound, to make sure that babies are growing like they should - and then Dr S is shipping me back off to Dr G! I cannot even begin to express how excited we are. And how very grateful we are, to God.
Now, having said all of that... I must say. We know that these children do not belong to us. This precious blessing is from God, and no other.I want to say up front that we, Clif and I, will not be taking this special gift for granted. We have prayed for what seems like forever for another child. Another chance to be parents. God has graciously answered our prayers, and no matter what happens in the coming months, we will forever praise Him for what He has given us.These children are not ours...they belongs to the Lord. We are vowing to one another and more importantly to God, that we will bring these children up in the Lord. From an early age, these little bundle of joy's will know Who their creator is.