Monday, February 28, 2011
In Memory Of Lillian Joy
A video that I have created in Honor of our precious Baby Girl. She's been on my mind a lot lately - and I wanted to do something in memory of her :) So here it is. Please be warned that there are photos of Lilly from the hospital - some people may find "disturbing". We find them beautiful. I love you Lillian Joy!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
eleven.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
10w3d
...and exhausted. :)
Thought that I would update on everything going on. Things with me and babies seem to be going really well. I'm still experiencing some morning sickness... but it has slowed down. If in the event that I feel like I'm going to hurl, I can normally take a Zofran and feel semi-human.
Blood pressure has been doing really good with the medication. I went to Kroger last night and walked around for right at thirty minutes, and when I came out of the store I took my blood pressure in the truck, and it was 127/80. Needless to say - that made me smile! It's also helped (a lot) with the anxiety that I've been experiencing thus far with this pregnancy. Of course, nothing is going to take away all my worries... and they won't be gone until the triplets are here in our arms. But it's nice to have a little relief.
I currently am dealing with a head cold/sinus thing...which stinks. I called my nurse yesterday to give her some information about my FMLA, and also asked her if there was anything that I could take for my cold. I had a list of safe over the counter drugs that I can take - BUT - I happened to think, since I'm on the Labatelol, I might should ASK them before I take anything. And sure enough... I could have taken Tylenol Cold...but... they took it off the market, for some off unknown reason :( She told me that I could take Sudafed, but as soon as she told me that...Dr G was at her side, writing a note saying that Sudafed causes hyper tension. Wanna know what I can take? Nothing. Well...almost nothing. They said that I can use saline nose spray. Um... I think not. So I get to suffer and wait it out. Ha! Okay, it's not THAT bad... but it's still uncomfortable, and it makes sleeping a chore. I can't breath through my nose 80% of the time, so every morning for the last 4-5 days, I have woken up to a bloody top lip :( It's been splitting and re-splitting every night. Even with chapstick!
Okay, enough whining. :) Today I have had a little more energy than usual. And I stress a little. But it's been nice. I had to work eight forty five to twelve today, then I met my parents for lunch. After lunch I headed to Wal*Mart to pick up some needed supplies (like brownie mix to surprise Clif with!). I finally got home around two, and put a roast (with carrots & potatoes) on the stove, loaded the dishwasher, and started a load of laundry. I feel rather accomplished, considering I haven't d one any real cooking or cleaning in about a month now.
Now...all that aside, I guess there is somewhere I haven't really ventured lately. How's the grief aspect of everything? How are we holding up?
I'd say...honestly, that most days we are okay. I don't think there is a single day that we don't talk about Lilly. I mean, even today we met up with one of my friends in WalMart & were talking about cribs, and baby birth weights... and we openly talked about Lilly's birth weight of 5lb9.5oz. And that was fine. It felt normal?
I won't lie...I know that it's going to be tough. I actually dread going to the hospital on delivery day. But only because of the bittersweet experience I had the last time I was there. But I know that God is there, and that He will hold my hand all the way :)
God is teaching us many things with this pregnancy, already. Clif and I are different with one another... in a good way. He's always looking out for me, and meets my every need. God is teaching me trust... in a whole new way. It's so hard trusting Someone else with the lives of my three babies. But then again, I'm not in control at all. But He is completely. He is teaching us to pray all over again... in a whole new way. I know that I have said this for what may seem a million times, but Clif and I are incredibly blessed.. And we know that. And there hasn't been a day that has gone by since early January that we don't thank Him for what He has given us.
I hope and pray that each and every one of you have a wonderful weekend. Filled with love, happiness, and joy.
Thought that I would update on everything going on. Things with me and babies seem to be going really well. I'm still experiencing some morning sickness... but it has slowed down. If in the event that I feel like I'm going to hurl, I can normally take a Zofran and feel semi-human.
Blood pressure has been doing really good with the medication. I went to Kroger last night and walked around for right at thirty minutes, and when I came out of the store I took my blood pressure in the truck, and it was 127/80. Needless to say - that made me smile! It's also helped (a lot) with the anxiety that I've been experiencing thus far with this pregnancy. Of course, nothing is going to take away all my worries... and they won't be gone until the triplets are here in our arms. But it's nice to have a little relief.
I currently am dealing with a head cold/sinus thing...which stinks. I called my nurse yesterday to give her some information about my FMLA, and also asked her if there was anything that I could take for my cold. I had a list of safe over the counter drugs that I can take - BUT - I happened to think, since I'm on the Labatelol, I might should ASK them before I take anything. And sure enough... I could have taken Tylenol Cold...but... they took it off the market, for some off unknown reason :( She told me that I could take Sudafed, but as soon as she told me that...Dr G was at her side, writing a note saying that Sudafed causes hyper tension. Wanna know what I can take? Nothing. Well...almost nothing. They said that I can use saline nose spray. Um... I think not. So I get to suffer and wait it out. Ha! Okay, it's not THAT bad... but it's still uncomfortable, and it makes sleeping a chore. I can't breath through my nose 80% of the time, so every morning for the last 4-5 days, I have woken up to a bloody top lip :( It's been splitting and re-splitting every night. Even with chapstick!
Okay, enough whining. :) Today I have had a little more energy than usual. And I stress a little. But it's been nice. I had to work eight forty five to twelve today, then I met my parents for lunch. After lunch I headed to Wal*Mart to pick up some needed supplies (like brownie mix to surprise Clif with!). I finally got home around two, and put a roast (with carrots & potatoes) on the stove, loaded the dishwasher, and started a load of laundry. I feel rather accomplished, considering I haven't d one any real cooking or cleaning in about a month now.
Now...all that aside, I guess there is somewhere I haven't really ventured lately. How's the grief aspect of everything? How are we holding up?
I'd say...honestly, that most days we are okay. I don't think there is a single day that we don't talk about Lilly. I mean, even today we met up with one of my friends in WalMart & were talking about cribs, and baby birth weights... and we openly talked about Lilly's birth weight of 5lb9.5oz. And that was fine. It felt normal?
I won't lie...I know that it's going to be tough. I actually dread going to the hospital on delivery day. But only because of the bittersweet experience I had the last time I was there. But I know that God is there, and that He will hold my hand all the way :)
God is teaching us many things with this pregnancy, already. Clif and I are different with one another... in a good way. He's always looking out for me, and meets my every need. God is teaching me trust... in a whole new way. It's so hard trusting Someone else with the lives of my three babies. But then again, I'm not in control at all. But He is completely. He is teaching us to pray all over again... in a whole new way. I know that I have said this for what may seem a million times, but Clif and I are incredibly blessed.. And we know that. And there hasn't been a day that has gone by since early January that we don't thank Him for what He has given us.
I hope and pray that each and every one of you have a wonderful weekend. Filled with love, happiness, and joy.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
the bump :)
Just few updated pictures of the belly... that seems to grow more and more each day. I'm holding at about a pound and a half weight gain. :) Today I am 9w6d. We take our 10 week picture on Saturday!!
blessing after blessing...
Clif and I both feel...incredibly blessed. In these past few months, God has given us SO much to be grateful for. First, the gift of pregnancy. After losing Lilly, I honestly didn't know if I would ever become pregnant again. So pregnancy in itself was a huge blessing. Then we were doubly blessed when we found that we were expecting twins. A week later, God caught us by surprise once again. Pregnant with TRIPLETS. We couldn't believe it...too good to be true. :)
I've done a lot of thinking these past three weeks. It had been three whole weeks since I saw our three babies and their little blinking heart beats. Three weeks since I fell head over heels in love with our precious blessings. But three weeks is a long time. I kept thinking, a lot can go wrong in three weeks. With much prayer, I kept most of these negative thoughts at bay - but of course, just like every other situation... there were always a few lurking in the dark waiting to jump out and grab me. I've been really anxious these last few days...the anticipation enough to KILL me. But as we were driving to the doctors office, I felt a peace. For the first time in weeks, I really felt like everything was going to be okay.
At one thirty, the ultrasound tech, V, came to get us from the waiting room. We went into her TINY (and I do mean tiny) room and I plopped myself up on the table. V asked if I had been given a due date by Dr S. I told her no, and that I was fairly certain that I was 9 weeks 5 days pregnant. She plugged in all my numbers and dates, and sure enough - I was right on the money. And so were our three little Skittle's. All three babies measured exactly nine weeks and five days. Fluid levels are good, and all three babies are very active. Especially Baby A (I think that s/he really liked the grilled chicken with honey mustard that I had eaten for lunch!).
I have to say that there is absolutely nothing like hearing your babies heart beat for the first time. It has to be the most magical feeling in the world. Definitely on the top of my favorite things to listen to. I always love to hear about girls that are pregnant for the first time going to the doctor and hearing the heart beat. It seriously just melts you. I cried. Three times :) Everytime V let us listen to another heart beat, all I could do was send up silent praises and let the tears roll down my cheeks. I had been so scared... and there were all three of my babies, unharmed, and doing wonderfully! Speaking of heart rates... I have to tell you that I think we are having two girls and a boy, or very possibly three girls. Ha! Clif says two boys and a girl. The only reason that I am leaning towards more girls than boys is because of how fast their little hearts were beating. Baby A's was at the top with 188bpm, Baby B was right behind at 185bpm, and Baby C was right there with them at 178bpm. Amazing :) Oh, and did I mention how excited V & Dr G both were that all three babies have their own sacks...and their own placentas? V said that since they have their own placentas, that we shouldn't have to worry about all three babies fighting for survival, if you will :) They all have their own source of food. Of course, she said that in some rare cases they will try and steal from each other - but it isn't likely. That made us REALLY happy.
I think that the best part of being in the room with V was that we are fairly sure that she is a Christian. She's always been very sweet, and I've never heard her say an ill word - but yesterday was great. Right when she was about to start the ultrasound - she asked if we just had the one baby at home. I explained to her (again) that our last pregnancy resulted in a stillbirth at 41 weeks. She immediately apologized for not remembering - and I assured her that it wasn't her fault. I mean, imagine how many patients she sees. She couldn't possibly remember them all. Anyway...Clif told him that we had been praying for a long time, and that God had really blessed us. She went on saying that God had very special ways of blessing us, and that God is good :) It was so nice to have that little connection with her.
My appointment with Dr G was supposed to be at 2:15. Well apparently, one of his patients was in labor at the hospital - so he had to go and see how she was progressing. Which meant I didn't get to see Dr G until *almost* 3:30. But that's okay. I kind of thought that it might be a slightly negative appointment...ya know, Dr G discussing all the risks and such. But it wasn't like that AT ALL. It was wonderful. He was SO positive and upbeat about almost everything. We could really tell that he was genuinely excited for us. It made me feel really good. And he had really good stories to tell us about his last set of triplets. He delivered them in December... and the mother made it to THIRTY EIGHT WEEKS. Can you imagine?
Of course it really just depends on how the babies progress and grow. If they start to run out of room, they will go ahead and take them. Otherwise, as long as I am fairly healthy and my blood pressure is good... they will let me carry as long as possible, up to 36-37 weeks. More than likely, the way Dr G talks... he seems to think that they will probably get too big to carry, or that I may go into labor early. Just depends :) Either way I am really looking forward to meeting our little ones in person!
Oh, and the blood pressure issue. *insert smile here* Dr G put my heart and mind at ease, which was nice for once. He said that in the first trimester, elevated blood pressure really doesn't pose any threat. Also, he said that it normally drops back down in the second trimester and then back up in the third. With my history, and the last pregnancy... he decided to put me back on the Labatelol that Dr W put me on for anxiety attacks :) Just 100mg, once a day. He said that should be plenty for now... to take it first thing in the morning, and that it should get me through the day while at work. And by the time it wears off I will be home off my feet anyway. So he wants to see me again in two weeks to check and see how my body is reacting to the meds.
For once, in a long time... I am happy. Really happy. Again, I feel so incredibly blessed I can barely contain it. And I can't believe that we're going to have THREE babies. Oh and FYI - my official due date is September 14th :) Which, we all know that I won't make it to then... but it's nice to have.
Now I will shut up so you can enjoy some pictures of our little angels :) Thanks to each of you for your love, support, and prayers!!
I've done a lot of thinking these past three weeks. It had been three whole weeks since I saw our three babies and their little blinking heart beats. Three weeks since I fell head over heels in love with our precious blessings. But three weeks is a long time. I kept thinking, a lot can go wrong in three weeks. With much prayer, I kept most of these negative thoughts at bay - but of course, just like every other situation... there were always a few lurking in the dark waiting to jump out and grab me. I've been really anxious these last few days...the anticipation enough to KILL me. But as we were driving to the doctors office, I felt a peace. For the first time in weeks, I really felt like everything was going to be okay.
At one thirty, the ultrasound tech, V, came to get us from the waiting room. We went into her TINY (and I do mean tiny) room and I plopped myself up on the table. V asked if I had been given a due date by Dr S. I told her no, and that I was fairly certain that I was 9 weeks 5 days pregnant. She plugged in all my numbers and dates, and sure enough - I was right on the money. And so were our three little Skittle's. All three babies measured exactly nine weeks and five days. Fluid levels are good, and all three babies are very active. Especially Baby A (I think that s/he really liked the grilled chicken with honey mustard that I had eaten for lunch!).
I have to say that there is absolutely nothing like hearing your babies heart beat for the first time. It has to be the most magical feeling in the world. Definitely on the top of my favorite things to listen to. I always love to hear about girls that are pregnant for the first time going to the doctor and hearing the heart beat. It seriously just melts you. I cried. Three times :) Everytime V let us listen to another heart beat, all I could do was send up silent praises and let the tears roll down my cheeks. I had been so scared... and there were all three of my babies, unharmed, and doing wonderfully! Speaking of heart rates... I have to tell you that I think we are having two girls and a boy, or very possibly three girls. Ha! Clif says two boys and a girl. The only reason that I am leaning towards more girls than boys is because of how fast their little hearts were beating. Baby A's was at the top with 188bpm, Baby B was right behind at 185bpm, and Baby C was right there with them at 178bpm. Amazing :) Oh, and did I mention how excited V & Dr G both were that all three babies have their own sacks...and their own placentas? V said that since they have their own placentas, that we shouldn't have to worry about all three babies fighting for survival, if you will :) They all have their own source of food. Of course, she said that in some rare cases they will try and steal from each other - but it isn't likely. That made us REALLY happy.
I think that the best part of being in the room with V was that we are fairly sure that she is a Christian. She's always been very sweet, and I've never heard her say an ill word - but yesterday was great. Right when she was about to start the ultrasound - she asked if we just had the one baby at home. I explained to her (again) that our last pregnancy resulted in a stillbirth at 41 weeks. She immediately apologized for not remembering - and I assured her that it wasn't her fault. I mean, imagine how many patients she sees. She couldn't possibly remember them all. Anyway...Clif told him that we had been praying for a long time, and that God had really blessed us. She went on saying that God had very special ways of blessing us, and that God is good :) It was so nice to have that little connection with her.
My appointment with Dr G was supposed to be at 2:15. Well apparently, one of his patients was in labor at the hospital - so he had to go and see how she was progressing. Which meant I didn't get to see Dr G until *almost* 3:30. But that's okay. I kind of thought that it might be a slightly negative appointment...ya know, Dr G discussing all the risks and such. But it wasn't like that AT ALL. It was wonderful. He was SO positive and upbeat about almost everything. We could really tell that he was genuinely excited for us. It made me feel really good. And he had really good stories to tell us about his last set of triplets. He delivered them in December... and the mother made it to THIRTY EIGHT WEEKS. Can you imagine?
Of course it really just depends on how the babies progress and grow. If they start to run out of room, they will go ahead and take them. Otherwise, as long as I am fairly healthy and my blood pressure is good... they will let me carry as long as possible, up to 36-37 weeks. More than likely, the way Dr G talks... he seems to think that they will probably get too big to carry, or that I may go into labor early. Just depends :) Either way I am really looking forward to meeting our little ones in person!
Oh, and the blood pressure issue. *insert smile here* Dr G put my heart and mind at ease, which was nice for once. He said that in the first trimester, elevated blood pressure really doesn't pose any threat. Also, he said that it normally drops back down in the second trimester and then back up in the third. With my history, and the last pregnancy... he decided to put me back on the Labatelol that Dr W put me on for anxiety attacks :) Just 100mg, once a day. He said that should be plenty for now... to take it first thing in the morning, and that it should get me through the day while at work. And by the time it wears off I will be home off my feet anyway. So he wants to see me again in two weeks to check and see how my body is reacting to the meds.
For once, in a long time... I am happy. Really happy. Again, I feel so incredibly blessed I can barely contain it. And I can't believe that we're going to have THREE babies. Oh and FYI - my official due date is September 14th :) Which, we all know that I won't make it to then... but it's nice to have.
Now I will shut up so you can enjoy some pictures of our little angels :) Thanks to each of you for your love, support, and prayers!!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
i am blessed :)
I cannot believe how I have absolutely NO energy. I'm telling you... it's all I can do to make it through eight hours of work, and make it home in one piece. :) Seriously exhausted. By the time I hit the door and eat dinner, I am passed out on the couch for the rest of the night.
I have literally been asleep by eight o'clock every night for like the last two or three weeks. It's kind of ridiculous. But I'd say it's fairly normal. I remember being tired during my first trimester with Lilly... but this is a whole new world of tired.
Please continue to pray for us, as the news of TRIPLETS is still sinking in. It's actually a LOT to swallow, which I'm sure that you can understand. I'm not scared. And I'm not even really super nervous. Just...excited? I don't know how to express the emotions that I've been feeling. I am a little anxious about the months to come.
Will I be able to keep them inside my womb long enough for them to be born healthy? How long will I be able to work? Will I be able to keep my job, despite being out on leave for (more than likely) MONTHS on end? What about insurance?
But ya know what? For once in my life... I'm not stressing about this stuff. That's right... me not stressing. Which is hard for ME to even believe.
I really believe that God has this whole situation in His hands... and that everything will go according to His perfect plan.
I don't know what this pregnancy will bring. I don't know what twists and turns our lives may take over these next few months. But (again), for once, I'm not worried about it. I'm trying with everything that I am to TRUST Him with everything concerning this pregnancy.
Speaking of... please pray for me, physically. Not only being pregnant with triplets... but having the PCOS and symptoms that come along with the territory.
What exactly am I talking about? My blood pressure. It hasn't been super high, and it's been "within normal limits" BUT it's still higher than I would like. :) But I'm not the one that controls that, huh? It actually spiked over last weekend. My bp normally runs 120s over 70s-80s. Well, over the weekend it went up to mid-high 130s over mid-high 80s. I called Dr G's office on Monday (for the second time in less that two weeks!!) and talked to the nurse about my bp. I have my parents bp machine - so I have been able to keep a close watch on it. I told her what it had been reading, and she said that since it's "within normal limits" that they weren't going to do anything at that point and time. Dr G was on vacation this week, so she consulted with the nurse Practitioner, and they decided that I will be fine until my appointment on Monday. Yup, that's right... I have an appointment on Valentine's day :) Aw.
Nurse Jill also told me that depending on what my blood pressure is when I go in on Monday - he might put me on medication for it. Or he might want to hold off for a little while. :) I'm really hoping that he will just put me on a low dosage (as long as it's safe), just for peace of mind.
I haven't done much walking around for a week now. Mostly sitting, people doing things for me. :) Clif and I DID manage to cook dinner, a team effort, the night before last. It was the first time my kitchen has been cooked in for almost three weeks. The smell of food just makes me want to throw my guts up. Ha!
As for the morning sickness, or I guess I should say evening sickness, it's gotten a lot better. I still have my nauseous moments... but for the most part, it's gone. Last week was a really bad week though - and I ended up calling Dr G's office to express some concerns. One being the morning sickness, and another being really bad lower back pain. The back pain, I was told, is because my uterus is expanding at a crazy rate. Hm. I guess I really hadn't thought about that. Nurse Jill was like, well... you have to think. With one baby, your uterus is the size of a grapefruit at this point. And you have THREE babies in there! Made me feel better. Dr G said to take tylenol and use a heating pad when I needed. As for the morning sickness, they called me in Zofran, aka, the miracle drug.
I also expressed my concerns to Jill... just about BEING pregnant. I told her that my last pregnancy resulted in a still birth at almost 41 weeks... and that every little symptom, every little ache or pain... anything that I notice that's different... it worries me. She told me that she wished that she could tell me that I wouldn't worry, and that it would get better - but she couldn't. She said that she has been through a very similar situation, and that she was on edge her whole pregnancy with her (live, healthy) son.
I try and take comfort in knowing that I grow babies well. They like to stay inside me, and they stay fairly healthy. Oh, and Clif and I make pretty babies... if I do say so myself. :) I'm really just trying to keep my chin up, and my heart in sync with His. I know and believe that He will take care of us. And any time I start to doubt those words... Clif is right there reminding me.
I am so thankful to have such a wonderful husband, a wonderful family, three beautiful babies growing inside me, and most importantly... a loving God.
I am blessed.
I have literally been asleep by eight o'clock every night for like the last two or three weeks. It's kind of ridiculous. But I'd say it's fairly normal. I remember being tired during my first trimester with Lilly... but this is a whole new world of tired.
Please continue to pray for us, as the news of TRIPLETS is still sinking in. It's actually a LOT to swallow, which I'm sure that you can understand. I'm not scared. And I'm not even really super nervous. Just...excited? I don't know how to express the emotions that I've been feeling. I am a little anxious about the months to come.
Will I be able to keep them inside my womb long enough for them to be born healthy? How long will I be able to work? Will I be able to keep my job, despite being out on leave for (more than likely) MONTHS on end? What about insurance?
But ya know what? For once in my life... I'm not stressing about this stuff. That's right... me not stressing. Which is hard for ME to even believe.
I really believe that God has this whole situation in His hands... and that everything will go according to His perfect plan.
I don't know what this pregnancy will bring. I don't know what twists and turns our lives may take over these next few months. But (again), for once, I'm not worried about it. I'm trying with everything that I am to TRUST Him with everything concerning this pregnancy.
Speaking of... please pray for me, physically. Not only being pregnant with triplets... but having the PCOS and symptoms that come along with the territory.
What exactly am I talking about? My blood pressure. It hasn't been super high, and it's been "within normal limits" BUT it's still higher than I would like. :) But I'm not the one that controls that, huh? It actually spiked over last weekend. My bp normally runs 120s over 70s-80s. Well, over the weekend it went up to mid-high 130s over mid-high 80s. I called Dr G's office on Monday (for the second time in less that two weeks!!) and talked to the nurse about my bp. I have my parents bp machine - so I have been able to keep a close watch on it. I told her what it had been reading, and she said that since it's "within normal limits" that they weren't going to do anything at that point and time. Dr G was on vacation this week, so she consulted with the nurse Practitioner, and they decided that I will be fine until my appointment on Monday. Yup, that's right... I have an appointment on Valentine's day :) Aw.
Nurse Jill also told me that depending on what my blood pressure is when I go in on Monday - he might put me on medication for it. Or he might want to hold off for a little while. :) I'm really hoping that he will just put me on a low dosage (as long as it's safe), just for peace of mind.
I haven't done much walking around for a week now. Mostly sitting, people doing things for me. :) Clif and I DID manage to cook dinner, a team effort, the night before last. It was the first time my kitchen has been cooked in for almost three weeks. The smell of food just makes me want to throw my guts up. Ha!
As for the morning sickness, or I guess I should say evening sickness, it's gotten a lot better. I still have my nauseous moments... but for the most part, it's gone. Last week was a really bad week though - and I ended up calling Dr G's office to express some concerns. One being the morning sickness, and another being really bad lower back pain. The back pain, I was told, is because my uterus is expanding at a crazy rate. Hm. I guess I really hadn't thought about that. Nurse Jill was like, well... you have to think. With one baby, your uterus is the size of a grapefruit at this point. And you have THREE babies in there! Made me feel better. Dr G said to take tylenol and use a heating pad when I needed. As for the morning sickness, they called me in Zofran, aka, the miracle drug.
I also expressed my concerns to Jill... just about BEING pregnant. I told her that my last pregnancy resulted in a still birth at almost 41 weeks... and that every little symptom, every little ache or pain... anything that I notice that's different... it worries me. She told me that she wished that she could tell me that I wouldn't worry, and that it would get better - but she couldn't. She said that she has been through a very similar situation, and that she was on edge her whole pregnancy with her (live, healthy) son.
I try and take comfort in knowing that I grow babies well. They like to stay inside me, and they stay fairly healthy. Oh, and Clif and I make pretty babies... if I do say so myself. :) I'm really just trying to keep my chin up, and my heart in sync with His. I know and believe that He will take care of us. And any time I start to doubt those words... Clif is right there reminding me.
I am so thankful to have such a wonderful husband, a wonderful family, three beautiful babies growing inside me, and most importantly... a loving God.
I am blessed.
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