dysfunctional??

Yup. That's me! :) Ha!


Blood drawn to check progesterone levels...check.


Transvaginal ultrasound...check. (doesn't even make me nervous anymore, I'm just like..here I am, do your thing!)


Met my new nurse "J" and told her my story...check.


Doctors office visit with Dr G...check check.


This morning was a little stressful/emotional. For some odd unknown reason I was really nervous about my appointment this morning. So to make a long story short, I had a mini panic attack in the waiting room. It was actually pretty bad. At least ten times worse than the ones that I've been having. Weird.


I guess everything went well, I was just emotional. I'm so ready for all of this to be over with. I just want the end results without all the work. Ha! It's just really hard and SO emotionally and physically draining.


I met my new nurse "J" this morning. I really liked her. Fresh out of school, and a really sweet. :) So that made me happy! I loved "S", but "J" is younger and I think that she'll better fit me.
She asked me how I was doing and I told her that I was okay, aside from the panic attacks. She asked me if I knew what was causing them (duh...but she's new), so I had to explain to her that our daughter was stillborn. I really hate that term, and I don't know why. She then told me that she completely understood... that she had been on Clomid to get pregnant, got pregnant with twins and lost them at 26 weeks. She took Clomid again after that and got pregnant with her son. :) So we had a little in common...which helps.


Office visit with Dr G went pretty good. He said the ultrasound looked good, ovaries look good... no cysts. Which really isn't good but whatever. Since they were clean,I am going to assume that I didn't ovulate. But we'll know for sure tomorrow...well, I take that that back we'll know for sure when I take a test and it comes back negative.


My office visit with Dr S is still on for next Wednesday morning at 10:00. I'm a little nervous about it, but so thankful that it fell on a day that Clif is off from work!


On the up side of things, when I checked out and paid my copay...they gave me my receipt and normally where it's been saying "infertile" or "anovulation" it said "other ovarian dysfunction" - hence my blog title choice for the day. I just chuckled because I feel SO dysfunctional. :)


Also, I talked to Dr G about my anxiety/panic attacks...and he said that the beta blockers that Dr W gave me (omg...way too many doctors here!!) will be fine to take. And that it would be okay if I took them while I was pregnant. He said that you can pretty much take anything for the first five weeks of pregnancy. It's week 5-11 that are crucial because babies organs are being formed. So I'm thinking that I will start taking the bb's in the morning. Just to take the edge off of this anxiety.


Another thing on the up side. "J" told me this morning that she had been trying to find out if my insurance would pay for the visits with Dr S. She said that she had put in for five visits, but she was hoping for at least one. I told her that Clif and I had already figured that we would be footing the bill all ourselves. About ten minutes after I left the office, "J" called me to let me know that she had finally heard back from the insurance company and they had agreed to pay for five visits. Thank you Lord!! What an answer to prayer... made me feel SO much better. And took a lot little of the stress off.


I guess we'll know in just a few short days whether or not I will need to keep my appointment with Dr S (specialist). I'm praying that I won't need to meet him...but I'm fearful that I will. Lord help me.


Thanks to everyone who has remembered me in their prayers. You guys are the best, and I am so very blessed to have you all in my life (one way or another).