To keep my mind off of things (until my appointment) I just have to rant a little bit :) Maybe this is why my heart is acting up....?
Some people just get under my skin SO much...and I want to get in the flesh and tell them exactly what I think of them. But I don't...most times. I continue to ask God for wisdom to deal with the people and things that I am faced with. I seriously feel like SCREAMING at the top of my lungs, just out of frustration...pain and heartache.
I'm done with getting stuff thrown into my face, not literally of course. I'm trying my best with everything I have to be a better person. To look over people, and the things that they intentionally (and maybe Unintentionally) do to hurt me. I'm just over it. Done. I don't need this.
I am choosing to pray for these people, but I am also choosing to leave them out of my every day life. I cannot be tied up in their lives...especially just when it brings me pain. I have my own life and desires to worry about. Know what I'm saying?
Let me just say it's ONLY been seven months since my daughter died. Give me a break. I don't need people up in my face about things. I need UNDERSTANDING. No, I don't expect everyone I know to bring their lives to a screeching halt just because I am without my child. I don't even expect everyone tot understand me. But I do expect people to respect me and the memory of my daughter. Maybe not put SO much in my face. Back off a little...and I don't know. Act human?
Ah... I feel a little bit better after getting that off my chest. :) Thanks for reading, and putting up with my hormones.
Hmm. If you haven't noticed already (yeah right!) I am being extremely vague in this post. It's only because I don't want to hurt anyone...even if they aim to hurt me first. I don't want to talk about anyone either. :) Plus, I don't know if this certain someone reads my blog or not (I've told them about it) ...so I want to cover my tail that way as well.
Well I'll be back later to update about how my appointment went :)
Click here to read another mommy's blog from today. I can SO relate. Thanks Lori!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
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3 comments:
i soooooooooo hear you! some people just have no grace for grief! argh! aren't we glad that the One Who Matters does????
Girl...feeling you. And hating that SO many people who have broken hearts are getting so beaten up....as if living without your child is not hard enough, you have to deal with the world just being MEAN?
I'm trying to pray for people too...but it's REALLY hard...especially strangers who leave nasty comments (guess I really WILL have to disable anonymous!)....I just do not understand why it seems like we as mothers are always trying to extend grace to others--knowing (or hoping) that most don't mean to hurt us.
Just wish some of that grace could be given back.
Love you!
Thank you for this post. I can definitely relate on so many levels. It shouldn't matter if its been 25 years since our children have passed away we will always feel this way, nothing will change that. You're right were not asking for them to stop their lives just asking for a little consideration and backing off us.
many hugs
elena
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