change.

Something that I have come to realize I don't take to well. :) I think that I'm getting better than I used to be... but still.
There are a lot of changes taking place in our lives these next months, and along with the change comes a lot of uncertainty. Something else I'm not awesome at handling.

*sigh*

I know and believe with all of my heart that God will provide, and take care of us in each situation that we face - it's just so hard to trust sometimes.
I feel like I've already blogged about these feelings... and if I have, please overlook me :) These days, I don't remember most of what I am doing/ have done.
As of now, I'm still not 100% comfortable with putting all of the changes out here for all the world to read (if we're close friends you probably already know what's going on, and if not...all you have to do is drop and email and I would be happy to explain further about what's going on...and get a few more specific prayers going up!).
I will say that it includes Clif's current career/job, future career/job, and me going back to work. Let me just say, I'm not looking forward going back to work... but then again, I am.
I guess what I mean is: I don't want to leave my kids. Plain and simple. I have been home with them for *almost* six months now. They will be seven months old on the 15th of this month. BUT... I do look forward to getting back into the swing of things, re-entering the "real world". I have known since I was pregnant that we would not be able to afford for me to stay at home, not with the way we live (not that it's extravagant in any sense of the word...), the things that we have, and with the THREE babies we have. :) It takes more than one person working when you have three mouths to feed, and three butts to diaper. ;)
Please pray for me...that God may calm my nerves and my heart.
For the last three days or so, I have had some pretty hefty anxiety attacks. Like the ones I had between pregnancies. At first, I chalked it up to me being on yet another bc (had it changed last week due to some issues with the last one)... and thought that maybe it was messing with my body. Big surprise. But then, it occurred to me... there is a LOT going on with us right now...and though I don't feel "worried"... I guess my anxiousness about everything going on is taking a toll on my body? Who knows... we all know that I'm not exactly "normal"!
Also, if you think of it...please pray for Clif and I as a couple, that we may have wisdom and discernment in the decisions that we may face in the coming days.