There is a time...

There’s a time to live

And a time to die

There’s a time to laugh

And a time to cry

There’s a time for war

And a time for peace

There’s a hand to hold

In the worst of these

He is with you when your faith is dead

And you can’t even get out of bed

Or your husband doesn’t kiss you anymore

He is with you when your baby’s gone

And your house is still,

And your heart’s a stone

Cryin’ God, what’d You do that for

He is with you

When thinking back on this morning, and my appointment with Dr S... I can't help but sing these words in my head. I know that there is a time for joy...and I am anxiously awaiting that time. :)
It's probably obvious by the positive note of this post that my appointment went well this morning. Or at least I'm pretty sure that it did. While showering and getting ready this morning, I was really dreading it. I went by myself...which is never any fun. And let me just say that a Reproductive endocrinologist's office probably shouldn't be in the same office (and have a shared waiting room!) with about twelve OBGYN's. Seriously not cool. And to you ladies who feel the need to bring your young children with you to the office to see your OBGYN...while waiting to get your Depo shot (or whatever the heck that thing is), ummm you probably should leave them at home. Did you not see the INFERTILITY sign on the door. You might as well prepare yourself for at least one mental breakdown of an infertile while there. I mean, it's like the people with their children are dancing around singing "lalala hahaha we have kids and we are here to prevent having any more!" Geez.

Okay...I'm done now. :)

Anyway... I went in for my baseline ultrasound which I was not looking forward to. Let's just say that I'm on day three of my cycle...and being fondled during "this time" is not one of my favorite pass times. Dr S came in, and asked me what our game plan was again. *Great* I can't really give him a hard time, because he's the only RE around (that I know of). So I told him that we had planned to do the ultrasound, see if there were any large cysts, then we were giving Clomid one more shot. We were in "there" all of 45 seconds when Dr S announced, no cysts...everything looks good! Can you imagine the huge smile that appeared on my face as he left the room so I could dress?
We discussed the Clomid, and when he wanted to see me again. He also asked if I still had the Ovidrel (which I do). As for the Clomid, he told me again that the approved dose is 150mg daily, for five days. Her prescribed me 250mg daily, for seven days. This guy really wants to get me knocked up (and I'm right there with him!). I go back on December 21st for another ultrasound to see if I have any little eggies matured/or maturing. I guess after that *if* there are eggs, we'll get the Ovidrel shot to release the eggs and induce ovulation, and then a possible IUI? Not really sure where we go from there. I'm really praying (praying, praying and praying som more!) that this will be the month for us. That all of this money will be worth it (which it is either way), and that we may be blessed with a Christmas present to remember.
I don't want to get my hopes up...but it's so hard not to. I mean - especially when I receive a good report from the Doctor. *sigh* I'm nervous. Really nervous. I want this so incredibly bad - I'm afraid that I'm going to jinx myself. But above all of that - I am excited. Really excited. :) And not just excited about potentially having a baby... but excited about what God is going to do in our lives. :) So excited about it all.
Please pray for Clif and me as we start this new month. Pray that He would give us the desire of our hearts, and that he would prepare those hearts for whatever answer He may give us.
While driving to the doctors office (alone) this morning, I played this song (on repeat) during my drive. It's sung by Tenth Avenue North, and it's called "Lift Us Up to Fall".

The first verse it the part that always hits home with me...

You move the earth

You hold the stars

Come move in us

Come hold our hearts

You send the rain

And life begins

So rain on us and reign within our lives again

We're waiting here

Waiting for you God

With our hopes and fears

We come empty hands held out

Lord draw us near

Heal these broken hearts

And lift us up to fall before everything you are

You lift the sun into the sky

You lift us up

Open our eyes

To see your face

And what you've done

You took the nails to give us love

And we stand in awe before your throne

There's no where else that we can go

We're waiting here

Waiting for you God

With our hopes and fears

We come empty hands held out

Lord draw us near

Heal these broken hearts

And lift us up to fall before everything you are

Come O Come Emmanuel

Come Lord Here to dwell

Let all your children lift one voice

We're waiting here

Waiting for you God

With our hopes and fears

We come empty hands held out

Lord draw us near

Heal these broken hearts

And lift us up to fall before everything you are

We're waiting here

Waiting for you God

With our hopes and fears

We come empty hands held out

Lord draw us near

Heal these broken hearts

And lift us up to fall before everything you are