Today I am thankful for all the little things that God does for me, some that I don't even think twice about.
I'm thankful to God for providing for our needs. Not always our wants...though, most times those too, but our needs have always been met.
I'm thankful for our hot water heater, and for hot showers :) Especially after a long day. I'm thankful for our refrigerator...for a freezer with food in it, for the washer and dryer He provided for us after the babies were born - our old hand me downs would have never lasted with all the baby laundry we do!
Oh, I'm thankful for baby laundry...for toys all over the floor, and for poopie diapers!! We have waited soooo long for babies to fill our house...and man oh man is it filled now!
:) I am just so overwhelmed by the blessings I am given each day.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Day 29: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for lazy mornings with my hubby...and cinnamon roll pancakes! Um, YUM! :)
Monday, November 28, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
week of fun!
I'm pretty excited about this week. These last few days have been trying, mainly because there has been a major shortage of sleep in the Smith household. But that's okay, and this too shall pass. :)
I look forward to tomorrow and Tuesday, because Clif isn't working. YAY! He's going hunting first thing in the morning... and then when he gets back we are going to do some cleaning, and then get out the Christmas decorations! I'm really excited about getting the tree out and decorating it... I'm sure the babies will love to look at it. I was already excited and then remembered that I bought new decorations the year before last, black, silver and hot pink! Ha :) I don't know if I'll be adding the pink this year or not, but I am excited about getting our home ready for Christmas either way. I'll be sure and add pictures!
Wednesday and Thursday will be spent getting everything in order...and...packing! Yep... we are going to Tennessee for the weekend. Ah, a much needed getaway! I wasn't sure about taking the kids on such a long road trip - or really, just about taking them out of town. But we asked Dr.C when we took the kids in for their Synagis shots, and he said that he thought it would be okay as long as we kept them out of crowded places, and stayed in a cabin opposed to a hotel. :) I'm really really excited about getting away for the weekend. :) At least if we are out of town, I can fuss at people that won't leave my kids alone and not feel bad about it. haha!
Christmas is near, and I'm really looking forward to it!! Not for the lights, not for the gifts, but just for the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place!!!
I look forward to tomorrow and Tuesday, because Clif isn't working. YAY! He's going hunting first thing in the morning... and then when he gets back we are going to do some cleaning, and then get out the Christmas decorations! I'm really excited about getting the tree out and decorating it... I'm sure the babies will love to look at it. I was already excited and then remembered that I bought new decorations the year before last, black, silver and hot pink! Ha :) I don't know if I'll be adding the pink this year or not, but I am excited about getting our home ready for Christmas either way. I'll be sure and add pictures!
Wednesday and Thursday will be spent getting everything in order...and...packing! Yep... we are going to Tennessee for the weekend. Ah, a much needed getaway! I wasn't sure about taking the kids on such a long road trip - or really, just about taking them out of town. But we asked Dr.C when we took the kids in for their Synagis shots, and he said that he thought it would be okay as long as we kept them out of crowded places, and stayed in a cabin opposed to a hotel. :) I'm really really excited about getting away for the weekend. :) At least if we are out of town, I can fuss at people that won't leave my kids alone and not feel bad about it. haha!
Christmas is near, and I'm really looking forward to it!! Not for the lights, not for the gifts, but just for the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place!!!
Day 27: I am SO thankful
Today... I am thankful for my salvation :) My relationship with the Lord has been the ONLY thing that has truly gotten me through these last two years.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Day 26: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for my couch...where I intend to spend most of my time today! This is one exhausted Mama!
Friday, November 25, 2011
Day 25: I am SO thankful + Thanksgiving Day Recap
Today I am thankful for fussy babies! :) I happen to have three of these... but at the moment, they are all FINALLY asleep. Thank goodness!
Yesterday, Thanksgiving Day (and actually, the day before), was... stressful. To say the least. :-/ I knew it'd be different with three infants...but my goodness! First of all, Dr.C told us that we should stay at home as much as possible during the winter months. Not to mention that he told me, "God will forgive you if you don't take your children to church until Spring."
I have a hard time offending people. Especially people I love. BUT... I've had to learn that my children's health and well being comes before all others. That's a hard pill to swallow.
At this point, Clif and I have decided that we will be attending church in shifts until Spring, keeping the babies at home. Just to keep from offending/hurting people, and keeping our babies out of harms way. It stinks, and I don't like it at all...but it is what it is, and that's just how it has to be right now.
Yesterday was stressful. At both mine & Clif's family get together, we kept the babies out of sight. >.< At my family gathering, we stayed on the second level of my parents house, taking shifts eating and visiting with family. When you have 20-30 people packed into one house, it's sooooo stressful trying to keep excited helping hands off your children. I hate being in uncontrolled environments with our children. At Clif's family get together, I ended up staying in a bed room with all three babies for 99.9% of the time. I was literally out of the room for 5 minutes before Eli woke up.
Apparently our babies (especially Eli) don't do well when they are not at their own house. Eli was awake (with the exception of 15 or so minutes) from 11am-6pm. I would get him to sleep, try to lay him down...and he would wake up FREAKING out within seconds. But as long as he was touching me, he was fine. I LOVE that feeling... knowing that just my touch is comforting to my baby, but it was frustrating at times... I felt as though we were being snobby, not passing our babies around to hold... or even to let them be in the same room as everyone (including a LOT of kids). But again, that's the way it is. Our babies safety is #1...even if it does make us look like brats. *sigh* I am so glad that it's all over with now.
In addition to all of that, we have decided that as far as my extended family get together (for Christmas) goes...we won't be attending :( Our gathering always takes place in a *very* tight space, and an hour away... and we just can't do it with the babies >.< We are praying that our friends and family are still speaking to us by the time all is said and done.
Yesterday, Thanksgiving Day (and actually, the day before), was... stressful. To say the least. :-/ I knew it'd be different with three infants...but my goodness! First of all, Dr.C told us that we should stay at home as much as possible during the winter months. Not to mention that he told me, "God will forgive you if you don't take your children to church until Spring."
I have a hard time offending people. Especially people I love. BUT... I've had to learn that my children's health and well being comes before all others. That's a hard pill to swallow.
At this point, Clif and I have decided that we will be attending church in shifts until Spring, keeping the babies at home. Just to keep from offending/hurting people, and keeping our babies out of harms way. It stinks, and I don't like it at all...but it is what it is, and that's just how it has to be right now.
Yesterday was stressful. At both mine & Clif's family get together, we kept the babies out of sight. >.< At my family gathering, we stayed on the second level of my parents house, taking shifts eating and visiting with family. When you have 20-30 people packed into one house, it's sooooo stressful trying to keep excited helping hands off your children. I hate being in uncontrolled environments with our children. At Clif's family get together, I ended up staying in a bed room with all three babies for 99.9% of the time. I was literally out of the room for 5 minutes before Eli woke up.
Apparently our babies (especially Eli) don't do well when they are not at their own house. Eli was awake (with the exception of 15 or so minutes) from 11am-6pm. I would get him to sleep, try to lay him down...and he would wake up FREAKING out within seconds. But as long as he was touching me, he was fine. I LOVE that feeling... knowing that just my touch is comforting to my baby, but it was frustrating at times... I felt as though we were being snobby, not passing our babies around to hold... or even to let them be in the same room as everyone (including a LOT of kids). But again, that's the way it is. Our babies safety is #1...even if it does make us look like brats. *sigh* I am so glad that it's all over with now.
In addition to all of that, we have decided that as far as my extended family get together (for Christmas) goes...we won't be attending :( Our gathering always takes place in a *very* tight space, and an hour away... and we just can't do it with the babies >.< We are praying that our friends and family are still speaking to us by the time all is said and done.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Day 24: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for time spent with family, though it was very short lived due to babies ;)
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Day 23: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for a warm bed to sleep in :) And I'm also thankful for the sleep that I've been getting in my bed here lately!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Day 22: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for days at home with my babies! :) I am so thankflul that God has given these children to Clif and I - and I am extra thankful that the Lord has made it possible for me to stay at home for the first part of their lives! SOOOO thankful. I am blessed.
Monday, November 21, 2011
where did YOU conceive?
Okay... I'm not really asking you that. Just trying to make a point.
Triplets are cool. And I realize... it's not every day that you see a set of triplets. BUT... don't be so dang nosey people!
Where is all of this coming from? We were out eating with family & friends yesterday when this couple (and their teenage son) walk by. They see the babies...which we had hid in the corner, and exclaimed... "TRIPLETS?" Us: "yep"...them: "Oh! You're so blessed...blah blah blah...did you use fertility treatments?"
Why why why does it matter if my children were conceived by the use of fertility drugs? They are three beautiful, living breathing HEALTHY babies. And really... if you think about how personal INFERTILITY is, well... you wouldn't ask such crazy questions! Not only that... but when I said, "yes...but very little drugs" the lady looked at her TEENAGE son and was like, "oh, well our son was a "test tube" baby!" REALLY? Oh my gosh... I would never say that period, but about my son? My teenage son? While he is standing right beside me? Whew.
I'm sorry... but infertility and the use of fertility medications/procedures is a very personal thing that you DON'T ask complete strangers about. Like I said, I know that triplets is not an every day thing... and I will even go as far as saying that I understand that THAT question pops in your head. But you definitely do not ask it.
Now...you might be reading this and be like, "Desiree! You shared every little detail about your infertility journey on the internet!" Yeah, well... I know. Ha! And I know it seems silly. I control what goes on this blog, and if I feel like sharing it I do. :)
I'm still baffled at how complete strangers will ask you such personal questions! Geez...
So my friend and I decided that when people ask me that, I should start saying "Yes. Yes I did use fertility drugs. And where was your child conceived? My three were in Dr.S' office on December 23rd,2010." :) :) :)
Triplets are cool. And I realize... it's not every day that you see a set of triplets. BUT... don't be so dang nosey people!
Where is all of this coming from? We were out eating with family & friends yesterday when this couple (and their teenage son) walk by. They see the babies...which we had hid in the corner, and exclaimed... "TRIPLETS?" Us: "yep"...them: "Oh! You're so blessed...blah blah blah...did you use fertility treatments?"
Why why why does it matter if my children were conceived by the use of fertility drugs? They are three beautiful, living breathing HEALTHY babies. And really... if you think about how personal INFERTILITY is, well... you wouldn't ask such crazy questions! Not only that... but when I said, "yes...but very little drugs" the lady looked at her TEENAGE son and was like, "oh, well our son was a "test tube" baby!" REALLY? Oh my gosh... I would never say that period, but about my son? My teenage son? While he is standing right beside me? Whew.
I'm sorry... but infertility and the use of fertility medications/procedures is a very personal thing that you DON'T ask complete strangers about. Like I said, I know that triplets is not an every day thing... and I will even go as far as saying that I understand that THAT question pops in your head. But you definitely do not ask it.
Now...you might be reading this and be like, "Desiree! You shared every little detail about your infertility journey on the internet!" Yeah, well... I know. Ha! And I know it seems silly. I control what goes on this blog, and if I feel like sharing it I do. :)
I'm still baffled at how complete strangers will ask you such personal questions! Geez...
So my friend and I decided that when people ask me that, I should start saying "Yes. Yes I did use fertility drugs. And where was your child conceived? My three were in Dr.S' office on December 23rd,2010." :) :) :)
Day 21: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for early morning baby snuggles :)
Probably not the BEST thing... but I've kind of started a bad habit, that I love. As long as I'm fully awake, when the first baby starts stirring in the morning they get to come lay on the bed with Mommy. :) I love getting my early morning baby snuggles!! Love love love them!
Probably not the BEST thing... but I've kind of started a bad habit, that I love. As long as I'm fully awake, when the first baby starts stirring in the morning they get to come lay on the bed with Mommy. :) I love getting my early morning baby snuggles!! Love love love them!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Day 19: I am SO thankful (post 500!)
Today I am thankful for weekends home with my family! With the field that Clif works in, he is required to wok crazy shifts...which include three day weekends every other week. He also works 7 days of (12 hour) nights and 7 days of days >.< So not only is time together precious, but three day weekends together is even more precious :)
On to other news? This is my 500th post! :) I can't believe it...well, yes I can. I remember how I would sometimes post more than once a day when I would be going through rough patches, and how all my sweet followers would comment with words of encouragement! :) You guys have been the greatest of audiences! It takes a pretty awesome person to listen to my every day drama, and to keep coming back for more!!
This blog has been one of grief, of comfort, of healing and of joy. Thank you for taking the time to read!
On to other news? This is my 500th post! :) I can't believe it...well, yes I can. I remember how I would sometimes post more than once a day when I would be going through rough patches, and how all my sweet followers would comment with words of encouragement! :) You guys have been the greatest of audiences! It takes a pretty awesome person to listen to my every day drama, and to keep coming back for more!!
This blog has been one of grief, of comfort, of healing and of joy. Thank you for taking the time to read!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Day 18: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for health insurance. As you all probably know, we've gone round and round with them many of times... but I'm still thankful!!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Four Months :)
So the triplets had their four month check up this morning :) And as usual, everything went wonderfully!
Eli - 12lb8oz, 22 inches long
Easton - 12lb7oz, 22 inches long
Elliana - 10lb, 20 1/2 inches long
I hate that the weight thing isn't uniform across the board. When we took the babies for their Synagis shots last week, the nurse that weighed them didn't deduct any weight for their diapers. Today, Dr.C's nurse deducted 3 ounces. :( So I'm sure they gained weight?
Oh well, Dr.C said that our triplets are the picture of perfection - the words that every Mommy loves to hear! All three babies are caught up with "normal" babies their age, well...length & head measurement wise. Dr.C said that they always catch up in measurements before they do in weight :)
Everything on my "question list" (don't laugh!) turned out to be "normal"...which it almost always does. Dr.C said that the only thing that was definitely NOT normal is that they sleep eight hours a night. :) He says that it's rare to see a singleton baby that sleeps 8 hours, and that he definitely has not seen multiple babies so young that sleep like that! Nothing to worry about at all, he says that we must have the magic touch. :) I explained that we have been able to keep them all on the same schedule since coming home from the hospital!
We are finally getting a little bit of a break - as the babies are not eating every 4 hours (most feedings, anyway) instead of three! :)
Also on our list of "yay" is that the babies no longer need their premature formula!! Woo hoo! :) We are switching to Similac Advance...yay! Of course, I'm going to let them finish up our formula supply of 20+ cans first!
All in all, another wonderful appointment!
Something cool that happened...while one of the boys was getting weighed, this nurse walked up to me and asked if we were the triplets...or if I was the triplet mom, or something to that effect. :) She said that she had seen their names, and knew it had to be me. Yep, I got to meet one of my blog followers today. Thought that was pretty cool... the very first time that I ever met one of my blog followers! :) So if you're reading this, I really meant it when I said that it wasn't creepy at all...it made my day!
On to another subject: I wasn't thrilled about having to take the babies to the doctor today. In fact, I would have much rather stayed at home...pulled the covers over my head, and slept all day long.
Two years ago today, I was sitting in our churches fellowship hall...picking at food on my plate, that my {awesome} church family had put together for Clif and me, and our families.
Two years ago today marks the day that we buried our baby girl. I can't help but play the events of that day over in my head. I remember waking up that morning, willing everything to be a bad dream. I remember struggling to get ready, not only mentally/emotionally, but physically, as I had just had surgery days before! I remember being mortified that Clif had to shave my legs for me, because I couldn't even bend over! *sigh* I remember the drive to the funeral home, and our arrival. I remember walking into the chapel with our family - many members seeing Lillian's little body for the very first time. I remember the feeling when I saw policemen standing in the intersection, stopping traffic, tipping their hats to us. I remember the drive to the cemetery...I remember walking beside my husband and he carried her tiny white casket, and I remember leaving her there.
That was probably {one of} the hardest thing I have ever done. I know she wasn't "there"... but her body was. Her perfectly formed, beautiful little petite body was there. And I was turning my back and walking away... leaving her to be put into the Earth.
I'm heartbroken all over again as I think of that day. But I am overjoyed knowing where she really is. I still get tingly all over when I think of all the love and support of our friends & family, and even people we never met. It's because of you {and our Saviour} that we made it through that dark dark time. And it's because of Him, and friends and family that we continue to make it through life on a daily basis. :)
Well... it's off here to take care of some semi-fussy little babies. And here's to praying that they don't react to the shots like they did at two months >.<
Eli - 12lb8oz, 22 inches long
Easton - 12lb7oz, 22 inches long
Elliana - 10lb, 20 1/2 inches long
I hate that the weight thing isn't uniform across the board. When we took the babies for their Synagis shots last week, the nurse that weighed them didn't deduct any weight for their diapers. Today, Dr.C's nurse deducted 3 ounces. :( So I'm sure they gained weight?
Oh well, Dr.C said that our triplets are the picture of perfection - the words that every Mommy loves to hear! All three babies are caught up with "normal" babies their age, well...length & head measurement wise. Dr.C said that they always catch up in measurements before they do in weight :)
Everything on my "question list" (don't laugh!) turned out to be "normal"...which it almost always does. Dr.C said that the only thing that was definitely NOT normal is that they sleep eight hours a night. :) He says that it's rare to see a singleton baby that sleeps 8 hours, and that he definitely has not seen multiple babies so young that sleep like that! Nothing to worry about at all, he says that we must have the magic touch. :) I explained that we have been able to keep them all on the same schedule since coming home from the hospital!
We are finally getting a little bit of a break - as the babies are not eating every 4 hours (most feedings, anyway) instead of three! :)
Also on our list of "yay" is that the babies no longer need their premature formula!! Woo hoo! :) We are switching to Similac Advance...yay! Of course, I'm going to let them finish up our formula supply of 20+ cans first!
All in all, another wonderful appointment!
Something cool that happened...while one of the boys was getting weighed, this nurse walked up to me and asked if we were the triplets...or if I was the triplet mom, or something to that effect. :) She said that she had seen their names, and knew it had to be me. Yep, I got to meet one of my blog followers today. Thought that was pretty cool... the very first time that I ever met one of my blog followers! :) So if you're reading this, I really meant it when I said that it wasn't creepy at all...it made my day!
On to another subject: I wasn't thrilled about having to take the babies to the doctor today. In fact, I would have much rather stayed at home...pulled the covers over my head, and slept all day long.
Two years ago today, I was sitting in our churches fellowship hall...picking at food on my plate, that my {awesome} church family had put together for Clif and me, and our families.
Two years ago today marks the day that we buried our baby girl. I can't help but play the events of that day over in my head. I remember waking up that morning, willing everything to be a bad dream. I remember struggling to get ready, not only mentally/emotionally, but physically, as I had just had surgery days before! I remember being mortified that Clif had to shave my legs for me, because I couldn't even bend over! *sigh* I remember the drive to the funeral home, and our arrival. I remember walking into the chapel with our family - many members seeing Lillian's little body for the very first time. I remember the feeling when I saw policemen standing in the intersection, stopping traffic, tipping their hats to us. I remember the drive to the cemetery...I remember walking beside my husband and he carried her tiny white casket, and I remember leaving her there.
That was probably {one of} the hardest thing I have ever done. I know she wasn't "there"... but her body was. Her perfectly formed, beautiful little petite body was there. And I was turning my back and walking away... leaving her to be put into the Earth.
I'm heartbroken all over again as I think of that day. But I am overjoyed knowing where she really is. I still get tingly all over when I think of all the love and support of our friends & family, and even people we never met. It's because of you {and our Saviour} that we made it through that dark dark time. And it's because of Him, and friends and family that we continue to make it through life on a daily basis. :)
Well... it's off here to take care of some semi-fussy little babies. And here's to praying that they don't react to the shots like they did at two months >.<
Day 17: I am So thankful
Today, even though it may sound cheesy, I am thankful for our heat pump. I realize that there are so many people that don't have a warm place to go. Some people have the place, but not the money to pay for the {expensive} heat.
God has provided for us, and I am so thankful.
God has provided for us, and I am so thankful.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Day 16: I am SO thankful.
Today I am so very thankful that God has provided for us, so that I could stay home with the babies for their first few months at home.
It's going to KILL me when I have to go back to work in January (if I am able to get a job), but I'm thankful and enjoying my time now!
It's going to KILL me when I have to go back to work in January (if I am able to get a job), but I'm thankful and enjoying my time now!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
November 13th, 2011...in pictures.
I have had a BLAST playing with my new camera that Clif surprised me with a few months back. :) Pictured above is one of the lilies I bought in honor of OUR Lilly!
Cupcakes made in honor of Lillian Joy's birthday, and a letter from Mommy.
Happy Birthday {sparkle} leaves and balloons from Mommy & Daddy
Lilly's little siblings :)
Cupcakes made for Lilly <3
pictures of our tats and jewelry that we wear every day to remember our precious baby girl.
triplets visiting their big sister's {body's} resting place.
Day 15: I am SO thankful
Today, as crazy as it may seem, I am thankful for microwaves. :) Ours died yesterday... well, I might have killed it.
I was warming a cup of water, and it might have spilled and shorted the microwave out. Not only did I mess up the microwave, but apparently spilling that water caused the electric/power not to work on that side of the kitchen. Appliances on that side of the kitchen include: Toaster, coffee pot, REFRIGERATOR, microwave and deep freezer :) And I had just mixed up a days worth of formula...so you can imagine how upset I was that our fridge wasn't working!!
Oh well, as silly as it sounds - I am thankful for microwaves. You don't realize how important they are until you don't have one!!
I was warming a cup of water, and it might have spilled and shorted the microwave out. Not only did I mess up the microwave, but apparently spilling that water caused the electric/power not to work on that side of the kitchen. Appliances on that side of the kitchen include: Toaster, coffee pot, REFRIGERATOR, microwave and deep freezer :) And I had just mixed up a days worth of formula...so you can imagine how upset I was that our fridge wasn't working!!
Oh well, as silly as it sounds - I am thankful for microwaves. You don't realize how important they are until you don't have one!!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Day 14: I am SO thankful
Today I find myself thinking about how thankful I am for the parents that the Lord blessed me with. They both have always been so supportive of me. I'm thankful for them both, and for everything they have done and continue to do for me.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Day 13: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for the almost ten months that God allowed me to spend with my daughter, Lillian Joy. Thankful for those months of time with her growing inside my womb.
I am thankful to Him for giving Clif and I the experience of parenthood with Lilly, before any other.
I am thankful to Him for putting an amazing doctor in my path that cared for me before, during, and after my pregnancy with Lilly.
Most of all, I am thankful for my beautiful little baby girl that changed my life forever. I love you Lillian Joy, Happy Heavenly Birthday!
I am thankful to Him for giving Clif and I the experience of parenthood with Lilly, before any other.
I am thankful to Him for putting an amazing doctor in my path that cared for me before, during, and after my pregnancy with Lilly.
Most of all, I am thankful for my beautiful little baby girl that changed my life forever. I love you Lillian Joy, Happy Heavenly Birthday!
Happy 2nd Birthday, Sweet Lillian Joy!
It's been a while since I spoke that name. Lilly Bean. Oh how Mommy misses you, Baby Girl. There is never a day that goes by that I don't think of you...think of the things that could have been.
I used to find myself saying, "the things that should have been"... but, God had different plans for your life.
Mommy will forever be thankful for the *almost* ten months that had with you. During those months, I watched you (and myself) grow. You went from being a little "bean" (blob, really)...to being my Lilly Bean...my beautiful baby girl.
I'll never forget the moment when I knew you were gone. Nurses were working around me, trying to find your heart beat...and I knew deep inside that you had already slipped away. All the hopes and dreams Daddy and I had for you had slipped through my fingers like sand.
I pray that you knew how much Mommy and Daddy loved you, Lillian. And still do! You were the first of my children to steal my heart... and you will forever have a very special place in it.
Who would have ever guessed that a little girl that never even breathed a breath this side of Heaven, could change the lives of so many. Including mine, baby. You have changed me...for the good. Never again will I look at life the way I used to. Never will I take the gift of life for granted.
It's so hard to imagine what you'd look like today...a two year old. Would you have blond hair, or brown? If you're anything like you're Mommy... you'd have pin straight hair. Would you be short?...tall? But those are things I can only dream of. You'll forever be my baby...and that's how I'll always see you. My little 5 pound, 9.5 ounce baby girl. The little woman that changed my life forever.
I love you Lillian Joy, forever...for always. And nothing that happens in this life will ever change that. You're my daughter, my first born...and I will never forget.
I love you,
Mommy
11.13.2011
Today, like any other day, I find myself thinking of my Precious Lillian Joy. She would have been two years old today. But, instead of celebrating her second birthday here on Earth with us, she is celebrating with Jesus instead. :) I must say, as much as we miss her here...I'm sure that birthday's in Heaven are much more exciting than anything I could ever plan.
It's weird this year...having three babies at home, trying to take care of them...all the while being consumed by thoughts of November 13th, 2009.
Lillian Joy's physical body was born into this world on November ninth, two thousand and nine...just a little after ten o'clock that morning. Lilly weighed five pounds, nine and a half ounces and was nineteen inches long. She had Mommy's long fingers, and Daddy's big feet. She was (and still is in my mind) the picture of perfection.
For those of you that don't know, Lilly was born "still". Her little heart stopped beating just hours before I was wheeled into the operating room for my c-section. She may have been born without a heart beat...she may have been born NOT breathing, but... she was still born! She was a real baby...and we were anxious first time parents full of hopes and dreams for our baby girl.
Holding my daughter for the first time was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Hands down. But emotions were mixed that afternoon, it may have been the hardest thing I've done... but it was also one of the most precious times. Seeing the baby that was proof of the love my husband and I had for one another. Holding the child that God had carefully grown in my womb.
The day that was supposed to be a dream come true ended up being a never ending nightmare. There is never a day that goes by that I don't think of our precious baby girl, our first born daughter. And there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about how she changed my life forever...and the lives of so many others.
It's weird this year...having three babies at home, trying to take care of them...all the while being consumed by thoughts of November 13th, 2009.
Lillian Joy's physical body was born into this world on November ninth, two thousand and nine...just a little after ten o'clock that morning. Lilly weighed five pounds, nine and a half ounces and was nineteen inches long. She had Mommy's long fingers, and Daddy's big feet. She was (and still is in my mind) the picture of perfection.
For those of you that don't know, Lilly was born "still". Her little heart stopped beating just hours before I was wheeled into the operating room for my c-section. She may have been born without a heart beat...she may have been born NOT breathing, but... she was still born! She was a real baby...and we were anxious first time parents full of hopes and dreams for our baby girl.
Holding my daughter for the first time was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Hands down. But emotions were mixed that afternoon, it may have been the hardest thing I've done... but it was also one of the most precious times. Seeing the baby that was proof of the love my husband and I had for one another. Holding the child that God had carefully grown in my womb.
The day that was supposed to be a dream come true ended up being a never ending nightmare. There is never a day that goes by that I don't think of our precious baby girl, our first born daughter. And there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about how she changed my life forever...and the lives of so many others.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Day 12: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for Doctor's. You don't hear me say that very often. I've never really "liked" doctors. Actually... it's not that I dislike doctors, I just hate going to them. The whole "white coat syndrome" thing, I guess.
First on my list, I will forever be thankful for Dr.G. He has been one of the wonderful things about my pregnancies! He has done nothing but make the best choices possible for me, and for the welfare of my babies. All four of them.
I'll never forget his reaction when we lost Lilly. I'll never forget the compassion that he showed towards us. The support.
And then the way he cared for me during my triplet pregnancy! He was a-mazing! He promised me when we lost Lilly, that if I were to get pregnant again... that he would do things a lot different. And he did (it might have had to do with the fact that there were THREE babies...ha!). Wonderful wonderful wonderful doctor. :) And so much more. That man has always gone above and beyond that which a doctor should. I will forever be thankful for him.
Next, Dr.S... and joining us on our road of infertility. I'm thankful for him as a doctor, and for the knowledge he has on PCOS. I'm thankful that he didn't give up, and that he decided to let me try that one last round of clomid before the shots! :) What a wonderful doctor, doing wonderful things for women like me!
Dr.D & D :) Remember... there are two! They both were wonderful! I am so thankful for female Dr.D, and how she sent me to the hospital the afternoon of 7/15. And I'm also thankful for how closely they watched my babies and me!
Dr.C, the babies pediatrician. He is a excellent doctor! Definitely couldn't have asked for a better doctor than him. We LOVE him. Just the other day - when we went to get the synagis shots, we weren't even scheduled to see the doctor, but when he saw us walk by...he followed us just to see the babies and see how they are doing! :)
Last but not least, Dr.P & S from the NICU. Dr.P met with us the afternoon the babies were born, before my c-section. He most definitely did NOT sugar coat anything. In fact, he had me terrified... yet, I was still calm. He was by far the most blunt doctor (even more so than female Dr.D!) I have ever met. He's also the doctor that told us the week Easton was discharged, that if our babies were in the Olympics... they would be preemie gold medalists! Both of these doctors were wonderful! :)
First on my list, I will forever be thankful for Dr.G. He has been one of the wonderful things about my pregnancies! He has done nothing but make the best choices possible for me, and for the welfare of my babies. All four of them.
I'll never forget his reaction when we lost Lilly. I'll never forget the compassion that he showed towards us. The support.
And then the way he cared for me during my triplet pregnancy! He was a-mazing! He promised me when we lost Lilly, that if I were to get pregnant again... that he would do things a lot different. And he did (it might have had to do with the fact that there were THREE babies...ha!). Wonderful wonderful wonderful doctor. :) And so much more. That man has always gone above and beyond that which a doctor should. I will forever be thankful for him.
Next, Dr.S... and joining us on our road of infertility. I'm thankful for him as a doctor, and for the knowledge he has on PCOS. I'm thankful that he didn't give up, and that he decided to let me try that one last round of clomid before the shots! :) What a wonderful doctor, doing wonderful things for women like me!
Dr.D & D :) Remember... there are two! They both were wonderful! I am so thankful for female Dr.D, and how she sent me to the hospital the afternoon of 7/15. And I'm also thankful for how closely they watched my babies and me!
Dr.C, the babies pediatrician. He is a excellent doctor! Definitely couldn't have asked for a better doctor than him. We LOVE him. Just the other day - when we went to get the synagis shots, we weren't even scheduled to see the doctor, but when he saw us walk by...he followed us just to see the babies and see how they are doing! :)
Last but not least, Dr.P & S from the NICU. Dr.P met with us the afternoon the babies were born, before my c-section. He most definitely did NOT sugar coat anything. In fact, he had me terrified... yet, I was still calm. He was by far the most blunt doctor (even more so than female Dr.D!) I have ever met. He's also the doctor that told us the week Easton was discharged, that if our babies were in the Olympics... they would be preemie gold medalists! Both of these doctors were wonderful! :)
Friday, November 11, 2011
Day 11: I am SO thankful
Today I am SO thankful for NICU nurses like the ones that took care of our triplets during their NICU stay.
It takes a very special person to care for babies the way that they do, and I am so thankful for what they do!!! :)
If you were one of our NICU nurses, and you are reading this...THANK YOU! You all are awesome...and you will never know how much it means to us that you took such good care of our children!
It takes a very special person to care for babies the way that they do, and I am so thankful for what they do!!! :)
If you were one of our NICU nurses, and you are reading this...THANK YOU! You all are awesome...and you will never know how much it means to us that you took such good care of our children!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Day 10: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for sleep. Well, really... I am thankful for a husband who let me take a two hour nap last night before bed... for babies that slept for eight hours straight, and for a husband and babies that let me take another four hour nap this morning!
I wasn't feeling well last night, and haven't been feeling the best this morning... so it was awesome of them to let me catch up on some much needed sleep!! :)
I wasn't feeling well last night, and haven't been feeling the best this morning... so it was awesome of them to let me catch up on some much needed sleep!! :)
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Miss you every day...miss you in every way.
...but we know there is a day when we will hold you. I can't wait for the day when we will see you.
Today, November 9th is exactly two years from my due date with our precious Lillian Joy.
The above picture was taken on November 9th, 2009. Looking at this picture reminds me of that day...I remember how excited I was. How anxious. I couldn't WAIT to meet my little girl.
And though just a few short days later, I did meet her... it wasn't the way I expected at all.
Today I'm remembering my precious baby girl. I love you, Lillian Joy!
Day 9: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful that though it was extremely stressful, we were able to work out the issues with the delivery of the babies synagis shots!
We will be taking them to see Dr.C this afternoon, at two to recieve their first shot! :) Please pray for us, because the last time they had shots...Mommy and Daddy didn't sleep for a few nights!
We will be taking them to see Dr.C this afternoon, at two to recieve their first shot! :) Please pray for us, because the last time they had shots...Mommy and Daddy didn't sleep for a few nights!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Day 8: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for a wonderful husband who provides for our family. Going back to work after thirteen weeks with me, and twelve with the babies, was hard. It just about killed the both of us, ha! Probably one of the harder things that Clif has ever had to do. But he continues to do it, because he knows that it's what needs to be done.
Please pray with us about some upcoming decisions...and if you think about it, you can go ahead and start praying for me as I am looking at going back to work after the first of the year >.< Pray that He will prepare me, and my heart - and that there will be a position for me to go back to!
Please pray with us about some upcoming decisions...and if you think about it, you can go ahead and start praying for me as I am looking at going back to work after the first of the year >.< Pray that He will prepare me, and my heart - and that there will be a position for me to go back to!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Day 7: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for my baby girl's HEALTHY heart! Elliana and I went to the cardiologist this morning, and LOVED the report we received! Her PDA is closed!! Praise the Lord! We don't go back until her one year birthday, because she has a slight leak from one of the valves in her heart <3 Praising God for this wonderful news!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Day 6: I am SO thankful
Today I am thankful for God providing a new (to us) car. Well, okay... not a car... because we all know I'll never drive a car again. At least not until my kids are grown! I'm thankful for our Ford Expedition. The Lord worked out many details and made it possible for us to be able to purchase this vehicle - and to trade in our other two, paying off what we owed!
Our "new" car may not be the newest, or the prettiest... but it's what we needed. Once again, God has proven to provide what we need. And for that, I am thankful!
Our "new" car may not be the newest, or the prettiest... but it's what we needed. Once again, God has proven to provide what we need. And for that, I am thankful!
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Day 5: I am SO thankful
Today (and every day) I am thankful for my church family. Not too many people have been in ONE church as long as I have. Almost twenty four years now! And not only that, but many people that are still members of our church were there before I was born... and joined my parents in prayer (for nine years) for a chance at having a baby girl.
My church family has been an amazing support system for SO many years, especially these last few. :) If you're reading this, and you're a member (or used to be) of Gospel Baptist Church - I love you! And thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being there. I am thankful for YOU!
My church family has been an amazing support system for SO many years, especially these last few. :) If you're reading this, and you're a member (or used to be) of Gospel Baptist Church - I love you! And thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being there. I am thankful for YOU!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Day 4: I am SO thankful
Today I reflect on how truly thankful I am that God allowed me to experience pregnancy. :) Of a singleton AND a triple pregnancy!
Both were so very unique in their own ways, and I wouldn't change either experience if I could.
It might have been uncomfortable...painful, and even miserable at times...BUT...I enjoyed ever second of both.
Many women can say that they have experienced pregnancy... but not too many (what? 1 in 8,000?) experience a triplet pregnancy! :) I have to say, I feel pretty special that He gave me the chance to experience it. And what an experience it was.
So...not only am I thankful for my four beautiful children, I am thankful that He allowed me to experience something I have dreamt of for a long time: pregnancy!
Both were so very unique in their own ways, and I wouldn't change either experience if I could.
It might have been uncomfortable...painful, and even miserable at times...BUT...I enjoyed ever second of both.
Many women can say that they have experienced pregnancy... but not too many (what? 1 in 8,000?) experience a triplet pregnancy! :) I have to say, I feel pretty special that He gave me the chance to experience it. And what an experience it was.
So...not only am I thankful for my four beautiful children, I am thankful that He allowed me to experience something I have dreamt of for a long time: pregnancy!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Day 3: I am SO thankful
Today, I am especially thankful for the friends that have stood by my side over the years. Especially during our darkest times, these past two years. I love you guys... you know who you are ;)
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Day 1 & 2: I am SO thankful
Day 1 - I am so very thankful for the Godly husband that He has blessed me with. Clif has been such a wonderful part of my life for the last {going on} seven years. I love him so much...sometimes even I can't believe it. :) Clif has been an excellent provider for our {not so} little family, and I will forever be grateful. Not only is Clif an awesome husband AND Daddy... he is an amazing friend. The best one I've got. I can tell him anything, literally...and I know I can always do so without being judged - though he does give me feedback, most times. All this to say, I am thankful for the man that the Lord has blessed me with. I love you, Clif Smith!!
Day 2 - I am overwhelmed at how thankful I am for the children that God has blessed us with. Not only the three precious {sometimes CRAZY} babies that are here on earth with Clif and me, but for our first born daughter, Lillian Joy. I am especially thankful for Lilly, because I feel as if it wasn't for her... we wouldn't be where we are today. For as long as I can remember all I have wanted is to be a Mommy (and wife). And March 2009, that dream came to life <-- when we found out I was pregnant with Lilly. That same dream was renewed in January 2011, when we were told I was pregnant with TRIPLETS! We have been incredibly blessed... and for that, we are SO thankful :)
Now...if you all will bare with me. I really do plan to keep these posts up for 30 days :) But just remember I have three infants...and that it may be challenging at times!
Day 2 - I am overwhelmed at how thankful I am for the children that God has blessed us with. Not only the three precious {sometimes CRAZY} babies that are here on earth with Clif and me, but for our first born daughter, Lillian Joy. I am especially thankful for Lilly, because I feel as if it wasn't for her... we wouldn't be where we are today. For as long as I can remember all I have wanted is to be a Mommy (and wife). And March 2009, that dream came to life <-- when we found out I was pregnant with Lilly. That same dream was renewed in January 2011, when we were told I was pregnant with TRIPLETS! We have been incredibly blessed... and for that, we are SO thankful :)
Now...if you all will bare with me. I really do plan to keep these posts up for 30 days :) But just remember I have three infants...and that it may be challenging at times!
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