what doesn't kill you...

...will make you sleepier?




:) Though it sounds like it, I'm really not complaining. God has blessed me us with so much... and I know He won't give me anything more than I can handle. BUT...three babies might be a little more than I had anticipated.

If someone had told me a year ago that I would be as tired as I am... I would have just laughed. Wouldn't have believed them for a second. Now...oh my gosh. I have never been so completely exhausted in my whole entire life.

Clif and I (and my mom that has been "living" with us since Easton came home) have a pretty good fair system going at the moment. We all stay up until after the 11pm/12am feeding - and then go to bed. If one or more babies will not go to sleep, Clif takes them to the living room and stays up with them until the 2-3am feeding. For the most part, Clif handles this feeding on his own. The only time Mom or I get up is if more than one baby is screaming. I can't tell you how awesome it is that Clif takes care of that feeding... I struggle (really bad) with getting up at 2am. So after that feeding, Clif will go to sleep and I get up for the next feeding around 5-6am. Some mornings I'll go back to sleep for a while after this feeding, sometimes I don't. Just depends on how well I rested the night before - and if the babies decide to go to sleep. My mom has been helping with the 5-6am & 8-9am feedings, because Clif is generally sleeping until at least 10.

The bad part? This will all change as of October 10th. >.< That's when Clif goes back to work. And that's when things are going to get real "hairy". On top of us having to get used to the idea of him going back to work, he will be going back to work... on night shift :( For the first two weeks. Of course, I guess it doesn't really matter... because even when he is on day shift, he really won't be able to help much during the night because he has to be up at 5am for a 12 hour shift.

So...prayers would be appreciated! I don't know how much longer I will be able to keep my Mom at my house. Which, really... I need to learn to do this on my own. It will be hard, and I might {feel like I'm going to} die... but I know that I can do it.

Life will be SO much a little easier when the triplets start sleeping for longer periods of time. Right now, on average - they sleep for three hours. Sometimes (like this morning), they will sleep for four hours. God bless them.

I have another prayer request, and I know that it will sound completely selfish. Clif and I were talking about him going back to work...and looking at the calendar... and it looks like (unless his boss will consider giving him the day off) he will be working on November 13th... and the 17th. The 17th isn't as big of a deal as the 13th... but it's still overwhelming to think that I will be home, by myself with three babies on these days.

For those of you that don't know, November 13th will be the two year anniversary of our first born daughter's (Lillian Joy) death. The 17th? The two year anniversary of her funeral. I'm starting to pray now that Clif's boss will have compassion and let him have at least the 13th off.

I have not been looking forward to November for a while now... especially since the triplets were born. Mainly because of doctors appointments. I'm sure the receptionists think I'm a fruit loop when they give me a date in November and I have to check the calendar to make sure that I won't flake out while in the office.

So far, our appointments for November aren't the greatest of dates. I take Elliana to the cardiologist for her follow up on November 9th... my due date with Lilly. THEN, the kid's four month check up (and second round of shots) is scheduled for November 17th. Whew...talk about a challenge.

Well...that's all the writing for now :) My Lil' Peanut (Elliana) is awake and fussy (imagine that). Looks like it's time to start bottles!!!

two months...ten days late :)

And there they are! :) I feel kinda bad because I don't know for sure if I took an actual picture on the "two month birthday". But this one was definitely taken just a few days before when they went and met Dr.G for the second time!!
Their two month appointment went wonderful!! Clif and I (and Dr.C, the kid's pediatrician) couldn't be more pleased with how well they are doing!! Dr.C told us that if there were a picture of what a preemie's growth should look like at two months, it would be a picture of our triplets. ;) I think he likes them! He definitely loves babies... you can really tell that he enjoys his job!
I guess it's kind of hard for the doctor to give us numbers like he would give most parents. Like, your kids is in the ___% for this, that ect. He told us that it will more than likely take about a year for them to catch up to where they would be had they stayed in my belly until September 14th!
Again...feel like a bad mommy... but I don't have lengths, and head measurements ect... but I do have their weights!

On July 15th, 2011....

Eli weighed 4lb.06oz

Easton weighed 3lb13oz

Elliana weighed 2lb15oz

On September 20th, 2011...

Eli weighed 8lb1oz

Easton weighed 8lb8oz

Elliana weighed 6lb2oz

They have all more than doubled their birth weights, and we couldn't be more pleased at how well they are doing!
As of today we have two sick babies...at least we think they are. Just a cold or something, they are headed to the doctor first thing in the morning... and we also have THREE teething babies. OH my. :)
I also took Elliana to the eye doctor this past Thursday, and though she is still considered stage 1 - there has been no change since the last time we saw Dr.F (three weeks ago) and do not have to see him again for six months... unless we think that she is not seeing as she should! Praise the Lord!!!

life with three.

Life with three is...hectic. For the most part, I enjoy it more than I can express. Then other times it's completely overwhelming and I find myself wondering if life will ever be "normal" again.

Doubtful.

But that's okay. Clif and I have longed for this life for a long time now. Longer than I'd like to dwell on. It took us a long time to get to this point in our lives, a long time... and lots of bumps along the way.
I always wondered how it would be...having more children after losing Lilly. And it has proven to be...well, odd. But I guess deep down, I expected that. There still is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of our precious {first born} baby girl. If it wasn't for her...I don't think that we would be at this point in our lives. *sigh* I am overwhelmed at how much a little girl that I never got the chance to know {outside of my belly} continues to impact my every day life.
Having triplets attracts a lot of attention. Naturally. :) But along with attention comes many awkward situations...and questions.
This week, I found myself caught in the middle of one of the above mentioned situations. One that went like this..."Oh, triplets! Do you have any other children at home?" (no... it's not "good". Yes, we have a "ready made family"...but that doesn't take the sting away when people say things such as, 'oh what a blessing that you don't have any other children!' Please. I am content with three, but there isn't a day that goes by that I wouldn't give my own life (or anything else for that matter) to have all FOUR of the children that God blessed us with here with us, on earth.
That's another thing. Since finding out I was pregnant (and then finding out twins...then triplets), people have acted as if the triplets are a "fix" to our "problem". Like, all the sudden our grief and pain over losing Lilly would just evaporate into thin air. Some days it makes it easier to bare...and other days it just makes it worse.
As November draws near...my heart begins to ache a little more. I find myself wondering what she would have been like, what about looks? Would she still look like me...or would she have looked like Clif by now? Would her hair be brown? What about all the milestones that parents take for granted??? All the milestones we missed. Her first smile, her first word...starting to crawl...taking her first step...
Whew. Talk about an overwhelming feeling. All the things that I missed with the child we never knew.
It's okay :) I'm not losing it... I promise. Maybe a bit hormonal? A very good possibility. Dr.G gave me a new type of birth control that has been wreaking havoc on my post partum body. Bleh. Last night... I actually felt....well, pregnant! Ha... not exactly a feeling that I want to feel after having just been pregnant with TRIPLETS! Luckly, Dr.G didn't give me any refills, so I am just going to call him up in a week or so and ask to be switched. I heard there are a few types of birth controls out there that can help with the symptoms of PCOS...so considering just asking him for a specific kind!
Speaking of doctors, Clif is taking two out of three babies to the doctor in the morning. >.< Elliana and Eli have been hoarse for about twenty four hours now...and though we have called a few different times, because of them being preemies...and having had respiratory issues...we don't want to mess around with it. I'm trusting that everything will pan out, and that it will in fact just be a "cold" like they think.
OH! And they went for their two month appointment this past week. It went wonderful! Though it will be kind of backwards, I think I'll do a post about that next :) God bless!

going down?

My weight that is :) As of today, I am down 40 pounds since I gave birth to our triplets. It's been a struggle too!! I think it was harder than it could have been, due to the fact that Clif and I were eating out 2+ meals a day while the babies were still in the hospital. I remember how easy (and quickly) weight came off after having Lilly. BUT, thinking back... most of my weight gain with her was fluid. I was SOOOO swollen. :) And I think that a lot of my weight gain with the triplets was actual weight! Just twelve more pounds and I will be back to my pre pregnancy {though, still very over} weight.
I joined weight watchers a week ago today. I'm doing the plus points plan. Basically, it's a fancy way of counting calories. So far, so good. :) It's working! I went to weigh in this evening and I am down 3.2 pounds since last Monday! Yay!
In honor of my new "life change", and losing weight... Clif ordered me an elliptical machine! Okay okay, Clif gave me his debit card and told me to order the one that I wanted. But still! It should hopefully be here by next week. I am SOOO looking forward to it. I had told Clif a few weeks ago that if I could just walk to our mailbox (a LONG way with a very steep driveway!) once a day - it would be great. Since saying that, I have discovered that actually getting to do that... not happening. By the time I would get the babies down to sleep...get dressed...go, and come back...the kids would already be awake and screaming! This way, I can break it (my workout) into smaller times throughout the day - and I can even exercise while the babies are awake and being entertained by swings & bouncers. Who knows... it might amuse them! Anyway, I can't wait!
I've been really concerned about weight loss, due to my PCOS. Poly cystic ovarian syndrome has caused me nothing but trouble in the past...and I am praying that I kick it where it hurts this time! Aside from having to fight the PCOS, I'm fighting weight gain from birth control. Fun stuff! Dr.G put me on the first months pills, and they were safe with breast feeding. But now that I am finished with that, he switched me again. Oh the joys. I told Dr.G that we definitely did NOT want to chance me getting pregnant again... and knowing my body, as soon as we're NOT trying to prevent... I'll get pregnant. :) I hate birth control, and I hate the way that it {generally} makes me feel.... BUT you gotta do what you gotta do. :) As much as I love my babies...I am definitely not in the market to add a fourth one to our home!
Clif and I opted not to get my tubes tied while Dr.G had me open...mainly because of me being only 23 (almost 24!!!), but also because I said that you never know when we might want another. Ummm...it's looking like no. :) We plan to call it quits with two pregnancies, four children, and three on earth. Whew... these kids wear me out! I seriously DREAM of the day when we can sleep through the night!
On a more serious note... I have a major prayer request. A young mommy that Clif knows through work lost her baby girl on Saturday. She was 37+ weeks pregnant... was found unconscious, and when taken to the hospital... the baby had already passed. The last we heard was that the doctors don't know what happened. The young mommy was/is in ICU, and we are told she was in a coma. She has since "come to"... but I don't know any other details. Please pray for this young lady, that God may wrap his arms around her. At times like these, I find myself saying... "I can't imagine". But I can. :-/

due date.

Today was my due date with the triplets :) Though, after finding out we were having multiples, I knew that I'd never make it to this day. BUT...this is the day that I gave when people asked, "when are you due?"
I cannot believe it's been 9+ months since Clif and I found out that we were expecting... can't believe it's been 8+ since we found out we were having twins, then triplets! :)
This has been such an adventure...one that I've loved every minute of. Not to say that there haven't been scary times that I wish we didn't have to go through, but all in all... I wouldn't change anything when it comes to our triplet experiences!
Clif and I were talking this morning, and I can't even begin to wrap my mind around still having these three babies inside my womb. We're talking close to 22 pounds of baby! Now that's an uncomfortable thought... giving birth to DOUBLE the weight that I gave birth to two months ago.
Speaking of, our babies are going to be TWO months old tomorrow!! I can't believe it. They have come SOOOOOO far. And I still can't say enough, just how incredibly blessed we are!
We've had a busy week... and I feel like I haven't been able to sit down and *really* blog for ages. :) It'll get better...right? If not... don't tell me!
On Monday morning we all went out for our first family outing! Granted, it only lasted about an hour and fifteen minutes... but it was still a big step for us. AND...Mommy and Daddy were starting to go a little crazy I think, staying at home... and not being able to leave the house together. Only a few more weeks, and we won't have to worry about that anymore!
Anyway, back to Monday. What was our family outing, you ask? We took the triplets to meet Dr.G for the first (really, second) time. :) Below is a picture of him with the babies.

Though it wasn't for long, we really enjoyed our visit with him. Can't wait to take them back when they are older :)
Now, something quick that doesn't really have to do with the babies... though it has everything to do with the babies.
Clif applied for a job (within the same place he works now) a few weeks back. Last week, he was called for an interview. Please pray with us that if it be the Lord's will... that he may get this job. It would be a 7-4, Monday-Friday, and all Holidays off position. Which would be a HUGE blessing with three babies at home, and his current position requiring two weeks of NIGHT shift per month >.< I know that God will provide, and everything will happen in His timing. :) Please pray with us that He may make this possible for our family.

Elliana's Heart...again...and again.

Okay...I'm a few days late, but I just wanted to update on Elliana's heart murmur (PDA).
I took her to the cardiologist on Monday afternoon - and we were told after an echo that the PDA is still very much there. She still is getting along very well, despite the PDA - so they are not too concerned.
Dr.W said that it was a small PDA, and that there is still a possibility that it may close. We have a follow up in two months to check it again. The doctor said that if it's going to close, it should be closed by the next time we see him.
Something that they were semi-concerned about was that Ellliana's "left heart" is slightly enlarged. Dr.W said that it could be that the PDA is beginning to close, and that he heart has not had time to shrink back to it's normal size. The reason he was so surprised over the enlargement was because her PDA is so small...normally you see something like that with larger PDA's.
Like I said, we take her back in two months and we will go from there. We were told that if her heart remains enlarged, there is a procedure that can be done (at UVA) to close the PDA.

:)

Well...it's been a while since I have been able to just write. For me. Life has been absolutely crazy these last few months...and I don't anticipate things slowing down any time soon. But that's okay. I'm loving life, and my {not so} little family.
These past *almost* two months have been a blur. A blur of happiness, excitement...fear, not fear of having three babies... but fear of the unknown :) But, as I have said many times since July 15th - we are blessed, and God is good. All the time!
My surgery (csection) was much different this time. With the csection I had when Lilly was born, I didn't allow myself to show pain. I just pushed through it... "enjoying" the fact that I could at least feel something. This time... I was a bit more of a sissy. I think that the worst pain of all was the trapped air (gas) in my stomach. Almost the most painful thing I've ever felt (the worse being when I had my ovarian drilling back in November). But all in all, it was a good experience. As good as having your stomach cut open can be :)
I guess you'd say that I'm completely healed now? I feel great...my scar looks wonderful. Dr.G pretty much just combined me two scars, so it doesn't look horrible either. :) AND...the way that things are looking now, there won't be a third scar. At least not for a baby to come outta there!
Clif said from the time he found out that I was pregnant with triplets, that he didn't want any more children. I said that I was undecided. HA! I think I've pretty much made up my mind, unless for some reason God sees fit to change our minds! I'd say three is enough. And where our NICU experience was nothing but wonderful, I don't think that either of us could handle the stress of that again. Well, actually... I know that with God - we could handle it, but at this point in our lives, we don't want to. :)
My milk? It's gone. I started taking reglan, Dr.G gave me a prescription when I saw him last week. I would pump for 20-30 minutes, and get an ounce (where before I would pump for 20 minutes and get 8-10 ounces). So I decided... though it was tough, to stop. I was wasting time...and not getting NEAR enough milk to sustain one baby, let alone THREE.
I beat myself up over it for a few days... I hated that my babies had to be switched to ALL formula. BUT... they have taken to it well, not to mention it gives me so much more time with them - and time to do other things to!
Weight loss is...getting there. But not at the speed that I would like. I've lost 35 pounds since they were born. I'm *almost* back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. But even so, I have a LONG way to go before I am to the point that I want to be. I would like to lose 50 pounds. Then I'd be happy with myself :) We will see. I am joining "Weight Watchers" with my Mom next week, and am praying that it will be effective with my PCOS. That's what's fought against me in the past in losing weight.
NOT to mention... I'm on birth control now. >.< Awesome. I'm on some kind of weird BC that you can take while nursing, but considering I'm not nursing anymore... I will be calling Dr.G next week to switch to something that will help with my PCOS. Fun stuff.
Work. Hm, what's that? I feel like a bum. I haven't worked a day since May 27th. That's a LONG time. But it was for a good cause... actually, three good causes. And, for the time being... I'm not going back.
I won't go into detail - but God has and is continuing to work out the details that are allowing me to stay at home with our three little blessings. At least for a while. Clif and I are planning for me to go back to work sometime in January. Please pray with us that God will open a door with the same company I've been with for the last three years. I wouldn't know what to do if I had to get to know all new co-workers!
Some other prayer requests include Elliana. I took her to the eye doctor this week, and we were told that she has developed something to do with immature retinas? I honestly don't remember what it's called... but apparently it's something that is fairly common. I have to take her back on September 22nd for a follow up visit. Also, I will be taking her to her follow up with the cardiologist this coming up Tuesday. I am praying that they do an echo and find that her heart murmur/pda has closed.
Little Mr.Easton goes on Wednesday for his car seat study...we're really hoping that he still fits in his car bed so that he has a way of getting there! :)
And Eli...well, he's doing great. Other than spitting up through his nose on occasion and scaring the poop out of his mommy and daddy!
A few HUGE praises and I will close.
It looks like (as far as we can tell)... that the babies stay in NICU will be taken care of by my insurance, and whatever they don't cover will be picked up by Institutional Medicaid. There was a lady from NICU that called last week and asked if we would be interested in applying for it. The only stipulation was that the baby(s) had to be in NICU for at least 30 days. Easton was discharged during his 30th day, and Eli & Elliana followed him. Clif went and met with the lady at the hospital yesterday to fill out the applications. Just to show you what a huge blessing this is - we got an itemized list of what it would have cost for each boy WITHOUT insurance. Let's just say it's a combined total of $134,000. And I don't even want to think about what the total of Elliana's stay will be - especially with her having surgery! God has been faithful, and He continues to be!
Other praise seems so small compared to the hospital bills...but a few days ago, we received three cases of the Enfamil Enfacare formula that the triplets are on. I thought it was 16 cans, but Clif was quick to correct saying it's actually 18 cans. Which saved us $275!!! Which is awesome considering they are already going through a can+ every day!
Well... I decided to write this blog during my first time of being at home alone with the babies. It worked out really well until a few paragraphs ago. I currently have one baby that rousing in her bassinet, and another {very} hungry baby on my chest, rooting around on my face for food :) I am SO blessed, and enjoying very much this gift they call Motherhood!