7w4d

Clif and I are SO excited that the Lord has blessed us with TRIPLETS. :) It's weird looking like you're 14 weeks pregnant when you're only half of that!
Thank you all for your love,comments, emails, phone calls...facebook comments and most of all, PRAYERS. We are definitely need the prayers :) Please continue to pray for our precious little ones, and for my health throughout this pregnancy!

And then there were three.

Let me start off by saying that I haven't been avoiding my blog... I have just been absolutely EXHAUSTED these last few weeks. :) Clif says that he has never seen anyone sleep as much as I have been sleeping. Seriously, on average... I'm embarrassed to say that I've been sleeping right at twelve hours. Might as well enjoy it while I can, right? I know that within a few months I won't be able to sleep anymore... and then once the babies (oh my gosh still can't believe I am typing that!) are here... I will be getting even LESS sleep.
Well, I am sure that most of you have already heard the news via Facebook... but just in case someone missed it... it's worth repeating.
Clif and I went for our second prenatal visit with Dr S, our RE, yesterday afternoon. We were taken to the ultrasound room (he wanted to check the babies out and make sure their heart rates were doing good) and soon thereafter, the ultrasound began. Dr S was extremely quiet for what seemed like hours... and I was starting to get very nervous. All I could do was pray, and squeeze Clif's hand. After a long while, Dr S looked at me and said..."Desiree, you're having three pregnancies". Clif immediately started laughing, while my reaction was much different! I came back to reality when I heard those five words escape his mouth, and all I could say was "excuse me?" Dr S turned the screen so I could see - and sure enough, there before my very own eyes, I saw "Baby C"... a third sack, with a third baby...and a third beating heart. I was in complete shock - all the while, Clif was making jokes such as... "I told you that we were selling your car and buying a mini van!" We've been arguing about this for a week now. When it was twins, I was like... I am almost 23 years old... and I will NOT drive a mini van. I'm too young for that. Well... it looks like we will be getting a mini van sooner than later. :) God sure showed me!
Needless to say, we have been on Cloud 9 for the last several weeks, and yesterday's news just sent us over the top! We are so incredibly grateful for the THREE blessings God has given to us.
Now after Dr S showed us our three babies, and their three beating hearts (we still haven't heard them... but seeing them is just as good!!) he told me to get dressed and come to his office. We sat down, and he started telling me that he has patients all across the board, all from different backgrounds. And that he, as my doctor, had to discuss something with me. He started telling me about this doctor in Richmond, Virginia... his name is Dr Christmas (interesting). He specializes in Fetus Reduction. Dr S said that some parents of multiples opt to have a Fetus Reduction done to increase the chances for the other babies. Okay, so you show me my babies, THEN you show me their beating hearts, and if that's not enough THEN you tell me that they look perfectly normal - that their heart beats are great, and that they are all growing as they should...and they're all around the same size...and THEN you sit there and practically say, "oh and we can get rid of one of those if you'd like."
Now, I know that he is my doctor, and that like the amnio testing, and CVS testing, they are obligated to let me know my options. It doesn't necessarily mean that these are the beliefs or views of Dr S. I was just in shock. He started talking, and I started glaring. He finished up by saying that no one in our area did Fetal Reduction, and that he could get me into contact with Dr Abortion. I told him that was NOT an option and that I would not be needing the phone number.
God has given Clif and I three very special gifts. Gifts that we have prayed for, longed for...for months. I have no doubt in my mind that His will will be done in our lives, and the lives of our triplets. I also know that He will not give us more than He will give strength to handle. :)
So I ask you all to join with us in prayer, once again. Praying that God would protect me, and give me a safe, healthy, uneventful pregnancy... and that He would also keep our little ones safe inside my womb. That He would grow them as they should grow...and that sometime in August we will bring home three  healthy babies.
Also on the prayer request board - as I type, Clif is in an interview. I feel like it took forever, but he finally got one! :) We don't know for sure how many people got an interview, but we fully believe that if God wants Clif to have this job - that it will be given to him. :) So pray with me on that too! Hopefully we will know something in a few weeks.
Oh, and a few other prayer requests.... I have SEVERAL friends that are pregnant right now. :) And I just ask that you all pray that Mothers & babies remain safe throughout the remainder of the pregnancies. I am so looking forward to all the little people running around here!!!
Much Love!!!

living a fairytale :)

I just want to say thank you to each and every one of you for kind words, warm wishes, and tons of prayers :)
I think we are still in shock. I have accepted that we are pregnant...but it's still really hard to believe that we are pregnant with TWINS! In just a few short months, we are going to have two little babies that we are responsible for. And I could not be happier!
God is so good, ALL the time. I can't help but be in constant praise to Him for our amazing blessing(s).
OMG we are having twins. :) :) :) God bless!!

I'm back...and boy do I have a lot to talk about!!! :)

As I am sure most of you have noticed, I have been missing in action for quite sometime now. :) I feel loved though. Even though I've been gone, I have continued to receive comments, page views, AND new followers. How cool.


I told you all in my last post, brb :) that I would be MIA for a while, that I didn't know when I would be back, but that I WOULD be back. I also said not to worry, that nothing was really "wrong". Well... I'm back now! And I'm here to tell you why I left in the first place.


As you all know, Clif and I had our first IUI procedure done on December 23rd. Of course we told ourselves (and one another) that we would not get our hopes up. And of course, we did. I'm really bad about doing that. In fact, you all know that for the last *almost* year... every time I go to the doctor, whether it be Dr G or Dr S, I always get my hopes up. And I always crash when disappointment hits. *sigh* Such is the story of my life. But you gals (and possible gents?) have been great. Comforting me along, when times of disappointment arise. It's been a really rough past year+. We've had so many ups and downs, it's not even close to being funny.

**Yes, I really had Clif take a picture of this!**

I still believe that God has a very special plan for our lives, and I am anxiously awaiting for that plan to unfold - and be revealed to Clif and me. We are fully trusting in Him, and know that our desires will be fulfilled in His timing.


So the week of the 1st, I started experiencing some cramps. They weren't horrible, but I knew that AF was right around the corner. You see, the month before I got pregnant with Lilly, I ovulated. But I didn't get pregnant. It was disheartening to say the least. But that next month, the month that I did get pregnant, AF started on it's own. I didn't have to take Provera. So even though I was very disappointed the first week of this month, I held tight to the hope of next month being the month for us. If AF was going to start on her own, maybe eggs would mature on their own too!



Tuesday, January 4th was day 28 of my cycle. We had planned on testing on Thursday the 6th. I was terrified to test too early, again, because of the disappointment that would come along with a negative pregnancy test.



This is where I have to get honest. I "felt" like I was pregnant since New Year's Eve. Deep down in my gut, I just had the feeling.



Clif worked on the 4th, day 28 of my cycle. So after work, I went to Wal*Mart, picked up a box of three pregnancy tests...and went home. I battled with myself the whole ride home. Would I test, would I wait. Clif actually called me during my drive, and asked if I would test when he got home the next morning. That was one day sooner than what we had talked about. I agreed, and that was that.



When I arrived at the house, I decided that I was going to test. I unwrapped the test as I drove up our driveway (I really had to pee!!), and ran inside to take the test. I was praying the whole time, please Lord, just let my gut feeling be right. After a few seconds....I opened my eyes. Disappointment??



I think not. There, alone in my bathroom, on January 4th... two lines appeared on my First Response pregnancy test. I was in absolute shock. I was pregnant. I am pregnant! :)

No, you don't need to adjust your eyes, or your computer screen. You read right! Clif and I are expecting our second bundle of joy sometime around September 15th,2011.



As soon as it sunk in, I headed back to town. I printed out pictures of the positive test, and bought Clif a pair of white, unisex baby shoes. Oh, and a sign for the car window. It's a monkey sitting on a banana and it says "baby inside". I thought it was fitting.



Clif was working night shift, so I wouldn't see him until the following morning. :) I woke up bright and early the next morning, took a shower, got ready for work...and waited. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity...he walked in. He gave me a puzzled look, and I said "don't be mad". He asked why. I told him that there was something that I wanted to give him for Christmas, but wasn't able to. But I wanted to give it to him now. I pulled out a wrapped box from under the covers. It was wrapped in left over Christmas paper, which helped since I told him it was a belated Christmas gift. :)



When he opened it, he just stared. And then it hit him. He couldn't say a word - all he could do was hug me.



So, it took a lot of typing for me to finally get to this point, but we are expecting another little Smith! :) Please pray with us that this pregnancy would be a smooth one for me, and that God would protect me, and more importantly, the....BABIES? Yup that's right...God has given us a double blessing. TWINS!!! Meet "Baby A" and "Baby B". :)

~Baby Smith A~

~Baby Smith B~

I called the doctor that morning, the 5th, and they sent an order in for labs. They of course, wanted to check my hcg levels. :) They called me back within a few hours to let me know that I was at 355, which was normal. Dr S wanted me to come back on the following Monday, the 10th, for more blood work. This is routine for all patients. So, I went back on the 10th (five days later) and my hcg levels jumped up to 2,709!! Needless to say - I was more than excited. I thought for sure that he would see me that same week for my first ultrasound, but he made me wait until Wednesday, January 19th. Talk about an eternity!



As far as feelings go... I felt pretty good last week, but around Thursday things took a turn for the worse :) Which I would take every single day, for the rest of my life. Puking has not yet begun, but I think if it did... I would feel a lot better! Oh, and I feel like every five seconds I am headed to the bathroom. I had a lot of bathroom visits while pregnant with Lilly, but this time, it's like, I can look at water and have to pee. :)


Today, we went to the doctor. Everything looks great, according to Dr S! We are so thankful!!! He said that if we had gone two days earlier, he wouldn't even have been able to see the babies. Just the sacks. So heartrate of Baby A was 96 and Baby B is 94!! Which, is on the lower side, but he said that it's completely normal...especially with me still being so early on! We go back next Friday at 10:00am for another ultrasound, to make sure that babies are growing like they should - and then Dr S is shipping me back off to Dr G! I cannot even begin to express how excited we are. And how very grateful we are, to God.

Now, having said all of that... I must say. We know that these children do not belong to us. This precious blessing is from God, and no other.I want to say up front that we, Clif and I, will not be taking this special gift for granted. We have prayed for what seems like forever for another child. Another chance to be parents. God has graciously answered our prayers, and no matter what happens in the coming months, we will forever praise Him for what He has given us.These children are not ours...they belongs to the Lord. We are vowing to one another and more importantly to God, that we will bring these children up in the Lord. From an early age, these little bundle of joy's will know Who their creator is.

brb :)

Also known as, be right back.

I know that this may seem odd... I'm normally an avid blogger and have a ton to say (you all know that!!) But I am afraid that I'll be missing in action for a while.

Know that I'm fine...and that nothing is really "wrong"... I just need a break. I'll miss putting my whole life out there...(lol) but I'll be back!!! And I plan on continuing on following you all...and commenting, and praying...

I'll be back soon...don't know when. But I will be back. I pray that each of you are blessed beyond belief. God bless you..

Please continue to pray for Clif & me as we journey through this month, and all the ones in the future.

Part the Waters, Lord.

I *really* heard this song for the first time yesterday. Well, I guess that I should say that I *listened* to it for the first time. It really spoke to me... and is officially one of my new favorite songs!! :) I've been playing it all day in my car!! Hope you enjoy the lyrics as much as I did.

When I think I'm going under, part the waters, Lord

When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea

When I cry for help, oh, hear me

Lord and hold out Your hand

Touch my life

Still the raging storm in me

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord

No tender voice like Thine can peace afford

I need Thee, O I need Thee

Every hour I need Thee

O bless me now, my Savior

I come to Thee

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain

Come quickly and abide, or life is vain

a little this...a little that. {updated}

First off, I want to ask that you say a prayer for Lori, and her new little blessing, Luke. Lori went in for a csection today. I haven't heard anything as of yet, but I pray that all is well.

Next, I want to whine a little bit. :) If any of you follow me on facebook....you probably saw my status, and thought that it was slightly ridiculous. I think it was something along the lines of "I hate night shift!I HATE NIGHT SHIFT! I really really hate night shift." And oh boy do I hate it. :( I'm not the one that has to work the long hours... but I am the one that has to stay at home by herself all night long.

Please please please pray with us. Clif has put in for a different position with his employer...and it would be a Monday-Friday, 7-4 job! There are like 60+ applicants... and we are fairly certain that he will not get it over some of the others... but what an answer to prayer it would be!! Currently he works 12-13 days a month, but it's swing shift. He works two weeks of nights & two weeks of days. He never works more than three days in a row! He really enjoys his time off...but... we are thinking ahead, of our future. If I get pregnant, it would be nice to have him at home every night with me. And when we do have more children, he would be able to be home in the evenings with them... and be able to attend school functions ect.

:) So though we are pretty certain he wont get it...but we will continue to pray until the position is filled!!!

{update}

Just received a text message & picture from Lori (or actually, probably John).... baby is BEAUTIFUL! :) So happy for them!!!

...round & round we go!

I feel like every post I write is the same. I guess that's why I don't post as often as I once did. Though, it's still pretty often! :)

The last couple of days have been weird for me. I've had a lot of little things creep in...things that I have tried to block out...things that I try not to remember very often...things that hurt.

Today started off with me thinking of the morning I went into the hospital. I can't help but remember how I was a bundle of nerves...waiting to meet my daughter. We were so excited...so nervous. Never in a million years did we see such heartache coming...

Last night we went out of town to a funeral. I can't remember if we've been to one since Lilly died or not. That's pretty bad, isn't it? Anyway...sitting in the chapel...breathing in stale air, and room filled with the scent of carnations. I remembered the pain...pure hell that we went through, or so it seemed. For the first time in a while, I felt numb.

Ya know what's weird?? When you've been through the things that Clif and I have (and many others!)... and still don't know what to say to people who are suffering a loss of their own. It's hard to come up with words to say... because you know with all your heart that you can talk all day long, and nothing takes away the pain.

I guess that you can say that I've done a lot of remembering these last few days. I guess, in a way, it's good for me. But then again...maybe not.

It's been a weird & long eleven days. And I've still got a few left before testing... I'm nervous. I'm scared... I'm excited, yet... I don't "feel" pregnant. I feel like I'm spinning in circles.  **Sigh** I hate this waiting...

01.01.11

So many emotions with the closing of 2010 and beginning of 2011. I'm heartbroken because of the past but I am excited for the future.
I believe that God has great things for us in the coming year, just like He has had in the past. I am anxiously awaiting them!
I pray that God richly blesses each and everyone of you in this coming year. May your year be filled with love,happiness, hope and peace.